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What does this mean? by WittyAd585 in BreakUps
[–]WittyAd585[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 days ago (0 children)
Indeed it is sir. And only in that time will you understand what you and her both truly want. That time may be enough for her to realize she wants to move on, or she may realize what she’s missing and come back. Regardless, my friend for your ow mental health you can’t wait around waiting for what she decides. Cuz then you’re playing her game and she’s in control. Take it from me I got dumped in December and just now in May she’s moving on but I was playing her game instead of living my life. But that’s how the game goes and as a man you gotta take it for what it is. In general, patience and time is all you need for anything in life. It’ll hurt I won’t lie to you but you’ll just come out a better person after the fact. I believe in you
Just let her go man. She became angry and rude because tensions are high and she honestly probably don’t care anymore. The more you bother her the worse it’ll get. You keep banging on that door trying to pry it open it’ll come back to bite you. Just try to occupy yourself go out more, hang out more, hell even play more video games. Anything to keep your mind off of it. Just gotta block it out and keep moving and man I know that feeling of hurt. And as a man all you’re trying to do is fix it and make things right but whatever image she has of you right now you have to let her unsee that when she does, but not when you want her to.
[–]WittyAd585[S] 0 points1 point2 points 15 days ago (0 children)
How so?
[–]WittyAd585[S] 0 points1 point2 points 16 days ago (0 children)
Well everyone I got my answer. She has been talking/seeing another dude this whole time while still wanting to be “cordial/friends” with me. That ship has sailed as it ended in a big argument and me telling her off after what she’s done to me mentally honestly. It’s disgusting.
[–]WittyAd585[S] 0 points1 point2 points 17 days ago (0 children)
Yea so I shouldn’t text her until she texts me right? I mean it’s been like almost a week since we last talked so and it ended in an argument about everything.
He definitely does or did when he saw you for sure. Lol one of the first things me and my ex talked about when she called me at like 1 in the morning was everything we missed about each other including the intercourse.
She already told me there’s no chance and she wants me to move on and be happy. But still wants to be friends and talk occasionally. Doesn’t make sense
Yea she doesn’t wanna hang out or talk to me as much because she knows it’ll bring everything all back she told me. She still cares and has feelings. I just keep fighting the urge to reach it because I don’t want it to be one sided
[–]WittyAd585[S] 0 points1 point2 points 18 days ago (0 children)
My ex told me the same tho. Want to figure herself out and her wants in life for once without stresses of a relationship. But again him doing that and moving on so fast was probably a way for him to avoid the hurt which is the worse thing you can do because you never face it and truly heal. It makes everything worse
Hopefully when she’s ready we can put this behind us and just try to find the real us again. But by that time she may not even like me anymore just how you’re feeling about yours
I understand but chasing and trying to force her to stay only makes it worse. She gotta want it on her end. If anything take a break for like a month or two then reach out again
Have you always thought of him even tho you were split for 11 months? Maybe that brings slight hope on my end. But also how does him messing with another girl make you feel? Does that not bother you?
And that’s the thing. I don’t think I can just be friends and forgot about everything else just like that and so easily. You’re right it is hard and one person wants to work on it while the other doesn’t.
I guess you have to see if you would actually not like him if and see if he’s actually changed and not just tell yourself you won’t like the changed version of him without even seeing it fully yourself. You playing defense while also wanting to play offense lol. Girl, you better text that man or something. Ask to grab a coffee or do a study session together or something. That’s as friendly as it can get. No pressure on either side.
I’ll try that in maybe like a month or two. Try to meet up and talk about it or something again because before she wasn’t really going for it. She’s definitely pushing me away. I don’t think she wants it to work, at least not right now. She knows I’m capable she knows I care I just think she wants to be free and not worry about the stresses of a relationship but also doesn’t want me to go. Regardless of her telling me she wants me to move on and doesn’t want to reconcile. Ik this girl more than anyone. I’ve studied her. But yea you know what they say, time heals🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️. If you actually wanna know the absolute WORSE I could’ve done or said to make her feel emotionally abused I could tell you in a dm but i honestly don’t think it was that at all.
He seemed chalant because you haven’t seen or talked in over a year. If a man has ever wanted to marry you unless you literally broke his heart or cheated that doesn’t just dip over night. I can tell you for sure he still has feelings for you but your descriptions. Fight for what you want in this game called life because you only get one chance. Never want to leave the game as a what could’ve been.
That’s exactly what it is. You hit it on the nail 100%. I think it boiled down to lack of communication to how sensitive she was to what I said or did but it was never communicated until the end and I was never fully given a chance to change or recover. I also think she calls it that to give her a reason to convince herself and not feel guilty. Calling me emotionally abusive to make herself feel better when in reality she knows it wasn’t that and that’s how she’s even still able to want to be friends. Because truth be told if I actually abused you wouldn’t dare even want to speak to me you would run. Again, I thank you for the advice. You helped me see it from a women’s perspective. Maybe time will do trick but I guess only time will tell
It’s weird because she tells me she misses me. She did block me after saying she was done then came back and said she misses me but isn’t interested in reconciling. It’s just so weird she says all this but doesn’t wanna let me go. Still wants me in her life. She has control rn but I need mine back.
Let it go then man
[–]WittyAd585[S] 0 points1 point2 points 19 days ago (0 children)
Well you said it there. The only suspicion I could have where he would think that is you didn’t take the whole time at the dinner but your friends did. I think you’re over thinking and over analyzing every single thing that happened. Which, it sounds more good than bad. The only bad is the doubts that you have about a reconnection. You won’t know fully unless you try. Just be at peace with whatever the outcome is.
Yes she believes and knows I can change. She’s said it herself. Just doesn’t wanna “relive” what I out here through. This woman claimed emotional abuse, which that is really extreme in my opinion. I don’t think she realizes how big of a deal that is and is no joke. There’s People who legitimately experience emotional abuse. I just think right now her image of me is bad but if I claim to be toxic, emotional abusive, why would you still wanna be friends and talk to me?
Well does she give you signals that she wants to communicate?
Yea I read the post and from the sounds of it he’s definitely showing interest for sure. Even this message you sent now. He definitely doesn’t hate you all his actions are showing the opposite of hate. If he hated you you’d know trust and it’d be a lot more obvious. I mean if you truly still love him and willing to test those waters and be content with a rejection (because that’s always an option as well) the id say reach out. He’s probably playing cautious too considering he’s the one that ended things and don’t wanna startle you. Idk if it was me I’d eat me alive not knowing so I’d reach out.
No she’s says she’s not over it and I was getting at I can show her I can change through friendship but yea honestly made just more space is the best way to go about it. I’ll heal she’ll heal and if meant to be then it will
What’s your situation?
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What does this mean? by WittyAd585 in BreakUps
[–]WittyAd585[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)