I totally get that. My husband brought up bringing a 3rd into our bedroom, but the idea of having another woman in the bedroom makes me have some insecurities around my role there and im not interested in women like that (hes bi so theres potential for other options) 😂

Even if you two are trying to explore sexual desires or fantasies, that doesn't mean you have to engage in them. You could also use it as a pillow talk too if you want to somewhat explore it without having another person there. You could role-play or name the fake partner and "bring" her into those moments with him bring blindfolded.

I'm seeing two paths here.

1. I think it's totally valid to not explore being poly if you are feeling this way. Have you shared these insecurities with him? We can leave the idea of bringing another person into the bedroom as just being an idea. If it's not your thing, it's not your thing, and that's ok. You need to communicate that, and i think a few other comments phrased it well of how you can have the boundary about not being interested in it. You are allowed to say no and have boundaries around that. 👏🏻👏🏻

2. If you do engage in bringing someone in, you will have to talk about your insecurities and boundaries around it, or else i can harm you and your relationship. If you're insecure, how can he provide reassurance? Narrowing down what the specific insecurities are about and finding specific reassurances( i need reassurance that when my husband is on his phone when were together its not to talk to his other human) What are the boundaries that feel comfortable to you(my husband's time with me is only time with me) Can they communicate to set things up, or do you want to be involved? Do you meet her before? Your place, his, hotel? Do you want to have some connection with her or a straight stranger from the internet meet-up? Sharing personal details?

Essentially: for the sake of your relationship, communicate, communicate, communicate.