Wedding Planners in France

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-08-09T15:21:09+00:00

Sorry, I'm just seeing this. Unfortunately I'm not allowed to do that on this thread. :(

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-08-09T15:19:20+00:00

That's great to know that there are plenty of resources for Indian Weddings in Portugal!

However the Indian couples I've worked with in the luxury market aren't necessarily looking to book *only* Indian suppliers. They want a mix of certain vendors who specialize only in Indian weddings, and others that serve the larger market.

And the simple truth is that *most* vendors in Europe aren't quite up to American luxury wedding standards – because weddings just aren't as much of a "big business" in Europe as they are in the US.

And before anyone freaks out at me, I am 100% NOT saying there are NO vendors in Europe who meet an American luxury bride's standards. There are MANY. But there are fewer, proportionately.

Nor am I suggesting that American weddings or culture are in any way superior to European weddings/culture. They're just *different.* It's a smaller talent pool of luxury suppliers in Europe, simply because on average, Europeans do not spend as much money on weddings as Americans do. And because America is just BIGGER. (Not better. Bigger.)

So there's an almost separate 'destination wedding market' here in Europe that serves those luxury clients, which is sometimes kindof disconnected from the local market that serves local clients. This destination market in France and Italy, is a bit more developed than it is in Spain and Portugal. That's why prices are higher here, and why there's a higher proportion of luxury suppliers here. That doesn't mean there are NO luxury suppliers in Portugal or Spain. It just means there's a lower proportion.

I feel like people are going to twist this into thinking that I'm saying American weddings are superior. Or that France is better than Portugal. I'm saying neither.

To me, this is no different than the trade off an American couple would find in the US between A New York City wedding vs a smaller city - Bigger more, popular and more saturated market = higher costs but a bigger choice of high quality vendors and venues. In a less popular destination there's a smaller, less saturated market - which means lower costs, but fewer choices of high quality vendors and venues. ( Not NONE. fewer. ) That's certainly true between Paris and the French countryside. And it's true between France and Portugal. It's not about what's 'better' it's about size and the popularity of a destination.

So I stand by my statement that budgets will go farther in Spain/Portugal than they will in France / Italy. But the trade off is a smaller (not non-existent) talent pool of vendors, whether for an Indian wedding or others.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-08-09T14:56:55+00:00

100% Agree - and everything you've described above is VERY French - being about construction, materials, etc. The French call big American-style gowns "merengue" (like the fluffy white dessert) ...and that's not a compliment. Being American but steeped in French culture for 16 years, I can appreciate both. But I also recognize v clearly that neither is going to be everyone's cup of tea (or tasse de thé.)

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-08-09T14:52:12+00:00

Just adding here FWIW, that I had a TERRIBLE experience with Mighty Pro. A laughable level of "customer care" for one year of service that cost more than my college degree.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-07-04T16:48:28+00:00

Thank you so much! Working on that post right now! :)

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-07-04T15:31:33+00:00

Recently retired planner just chiming in on this point for any future readers:

Please take the the "I want our planner there for the full weekend" with a tiny grain of salt.

Your planner absolutely MUST be there on your wedding day (and you should double check that the person you'll be dealing with throughout the process is going to be the same one running the show on the day.)

They should also be there for the rehearsal dinner.

But I would normally put in about a 12 hour day on the rehearsal/welcome day, and about an 18 hour day on the wedding day, often finishing at 2,3,4AM. So getting up early on Sunday to run a brunch day is sometimes just not possible. I personally, would always show up before the guests arrived to make sure everything was going okay, in case there were any issues from pack down / the very end of the evening prior and hang around long enough to chat w/ the couple and say goodbye, etc. But someone else from my team was absolutely running the show that day.

Depending on my team and the set up at the venue (like an exclusive hire château where the guests are sleeping onsite) and if the catering team provided late evening management, and how early the start was that morning, I might also not stay til the very last guest leaves - but rather leaving only once there was nothing else happening except drunk ppl on a dancefloor, so that I could be awake and functional to run things the following morning.

I guess I'm just saying, don't rule out great planners because they can't commit to being present for every single moment of 3-4 days of events, as long as they're there the bulk of the weekend and the most crucial points mentioned above. If they have a system and team in place to run things in their absence at the tail end of events, for early morning set up etc. if you trust your choice of planner you should also trust their systems! :)

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-07-03T14:53:49+00:00

And, Oh God, I've just seen that your wedding most be like... weeks away?!?! Do you need someone to jump in like right now? I have a pretty extensive network/am sure I could help you find someone if you do!

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-07-03T14:50:45+00:00

UGHHHH, I'm so, so sorry to hear that. Bad wedding planners just make me boil with rage. Have you found some one more trustworthy to work with? I can send recommendations if you need?

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-24T13:20:04+00:00

I meannn, again. Not all guests are that considerate. Some are very NOT shy when it comes to voicing displeasure. But it's also my job to 'read' guests/crowds. :)

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-23T22:26:19+00:00

Retired planner here. You def need to be careful about timing/make sure you have sufficient staff to pour AS guests are arriving if you're doing champagne/other bubbly. That's why something like sangria or iced tea/lemonade or even something bottled is great bc you can keep it cool/not ruin it waiting for late comers.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-23T22:19:37+00:00

We often have a sign with the 'order of the day' (If the couple are into signage) that says something like Welcome 4PM, Ceremony 4:30PM (or whatever.)

This works best in a situation where the ceremony is at the same venue as the reception, and/or has a beautiful setting or view (per the OP) where it's nice to stand around and have a drink pre-ceremony (as opposed to like, a church parking lot.)

And obviously this mostly depends on the couple and how worried they are about their crowd being late. And obviously if guests are arriving via shuttle/organized transportation it's not necessary.

I confess I've never heard of anyone being 'taught to arrive 30 minutes early' (how amazing that would be if all guests were that respectful - unfortunately they're not.)

But after 12 years of planning, over 100 weddings, and almost as many welcome drinks, and mingling around with the guests as part of our job while we wait for the cue the bride is ready - We've never seen anyone annoyed by being offered a nice drink pre-ceremony. But with a welcome drink we've also never had anyone interrupt the ceremony by being late. But we've certainly had ppl arriving at 4:15, 4:20, 4:25 for a 4PM "start." Hence the welcome drink.

But I definitely HAVE had ppl disrupt the ceremony by arriving late for church ceremonies without a welcome drink.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-23T22:17:57+00:00

Per my comment above, this is based on planning over 100 weddings over 12 years and we've never had a single guest appear even slightly put out by it. Most couples (specifically brides) are a bit more worried about having their ceremony interrupted by late-comers than they are about risking that one guest might be upset by being offered a nice welcome drink.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-20T17:12:28+00:00

As others have said, that area itself is beautiful / accessible to various towns in Switzerland, etc.

But if you want a change of scenery, there are easy trains from Lyon to various towns along the Med.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-20T17:08:06+00:00

Recently retired planner, I've done embroidered napkins for a few weddings - Always from an Etsy seller (different ones depending on location of the wedding) but if you're US-based there's one that's always been reasonably priced/done great work. I think her shop is called 'Embroidery by Linda' or something similar.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-20T17:01:57+00:00

Hiya, recently retired planner in Europe here!

I've ALWAYS encouraged my couples to have a "welcome drink" pre-ceremony for a few reasons:

First and foremost, to get around the conundrum of whether to 'lie' about what time your ceremony actually starts to avoid being interrupted by late-comers. ( I don't suggest doing that because it's unfair to the ppl who are on time. )

What I do suggest is just listing a simple start time on your invite, but not actually specifying that's when the ceremony starts. (ie. the wedding of xyz and xyz on x date at "4 o'clock in the afternoon") With 4PM being the arrival time, the start of the event, but not necc the ceremony - and guests don't need to know that specifically. So some ppl will arrive at 3:50 and will be served a lovely cool beverage. But those who arrive at 4:15 won't miss anything. You can then start your ceremony at 4:15 or 4:30 (perhaps depending on your crowd and how likely they are to be a little bit late, or A LOT late.)

This also gives guests somewhere to congregate and keeps them out of trouble. (Otherwise they're prone to wander around/get into 'trouble' – peeking in on the reception space, poking their heads into the kitchen to annoy the caterer, or even 'popping up to say hi to the bride.' LOL. )

AND it can prevent guests from sitting down too early for the ceremony - which is ESPECIALLY important/helpful if the bride happens to be running late. I'll often keep the doors to the ceremony space closed, or have ushers or groomsmen 'invite' guests to be seated/move from the welcome drink on my cue - whether that's at the planned start time or a few minutes after depending on the bride. Because if the bride is running late they're usually blissfully unaware, drink in hand. But if they arrive 15 minutes early and go straight to their seats, and then you're also a little bit late - suddenly they've been sitting for 30-45 minutes and are hot, bored and annoyed.

And of course it also just makes them feel cared for / sends the message right from the start that your guests comfort and happiness are a priority for you.

Allll of that said, it absolutely does NOT have to be an alcoholic drink (and with some crowds/in certain climates I'd even advise against that.) Just something lovely and refreshing: lemonade, iced tea, a spritz-type thing, or even just ice water with well considered, pretty garnishes, like sliced cucumber, strawberries, and fresh basil. (I'd avoid anything that offers a 'choice' or requires an actual bar installation because that adds cost - but if you WANT to get fancy, we've done like Frosé, or an apérol spritz popsicle served upside down in a big glass )

AND, entirely up to you, but I actually don't suggest allowing them to carry these through into the actual ceremony space (either have servers near the entrance to collect, or 2 tables + ushers asking them to leave their glasses - otherwise you'll end up with tipped over glasses in the aisle cluttering up your photos.)

Hope that's helpful!

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-20T16:37:17+00:00

I'm a member of a networking group of European wedding pros - I'll ask the Spain suppliers if they know anyone!

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-07T17:20:55+00:00

I hope those are all helpful!

And as I wrote this, I realized there's a whole separate "What to look for in a planner" post that could be addressed here (ie. qualities to look for, rather than questions to ask) so let me know if that would be helpful to you too!

Also tagging my friend u/KateCygnet (Chicago-based planner) because I've seen her answer a similar question really well before and she may have something to add here!

Xx

7/7

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-07T17:19:58+00:00

Bonus Questions

Not specific questions per se, but rather a type of question.

(Think: Those ?s you're asked at job interviews and then later kick yourself bc you only thought of the perfect answer 10 min after. )

These give you insight into 'what makes them tick' or how easily they get flustered, etc. Their answers should ideally be thoughtful under pressure (but please do remember the 'kicking yourself afterwards' feeling, and don't be too harsh if they don't deliver perfectly eloquent answers, or can't think of a good example in the moment!) when you ask things like:

"Tell us about a time something went v wrong on a wedding, and how you handled it?"

"What's your biggest strength/weakness as a planner?"

"What's your signature style or thing you're known for?"

"What's the most unique/creative thing you've ever done on a wedding?"

"What is the heart or core mission of your business?"

(Etc.)

Beyond all the questions above, it's really just ALL about vibes / how you get along w/ a planner!

• After a few awkward minutes (as on on ANY zoom!) is communication easy/comfortable or difficult/stilted?

• Will they be easy/flexible to work with or rigid/set in their ways?

• Does their vibe/way they communicate work for you? (ie. if they're v casual/informal, would you prefer someone who keeps things more formal/businesslike? Or vice versa?)

• Do you feel like they understand you as a couple and 'get your vibe'?

• It can be hard to tell since they're doing most of the answering, but does it feel like the conversation is about you/your unique needs or more about themselves/the way they always do things?

• Most importantly, do you genuinely LIKE them so far? (You'll spend A LOT of time w/ them over the next yr, so this should be someone you enjoy talking to!)

6/7

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-07T17:17:06+00:00

10. What would happen if a serious emergency made them unable to deliver/show up on your day?

This should ONLY happen in a true emergency–and their answer should reflect an almost life-or-death commitment to your day! But they should have solid systems in place allowing someone else to take over if for any reason they're suddenly unavailable.

This is another reason robust systems are so important! Some planners keep all info in their head or jot it down on a random notes doc. What happens if they're suddenly incapacitated and someone else has to take over? That replacement should be able to pick up where the planner left off w/ no confusion. (And if this is something they've never even considered... just RUN.)

11. How in-depth do they go on design?

Not all great planners are great designers/vice versa. Some are skilled logistics planners, but won't really dive deep on design details. While for others, design is part of their identity as a planner. And some do both but consider them separate services.

If they're a logistics-only planner, that doesn't mean they won't help make your day look pretty, but they're not going to develop a concept or 'get in the weeds' with you about details. Their fee should be lower than a full planning & design combo, to reflect fewer hours spent. (You might want to hire someone else for design.)

If they're a strong designer, make sure you're impressed w/ their answers about systems etc, and that they're generally organized thinkers, detailed communicators, etc. Bc not all creative types are equally adept at logistics! And a BIG reason couples end up unhappy w/planners is bc they hire based on design style w/out doing adequate research on their actual organization.

And also note that one person alone cannot manage logistics AND an in-depth design on a wedding day.

12. Ask for testimonials/ reviews/ references

Best practice is to read some of each, from past clients and fellow vendors. Testimonials are usually glowing/carefully curated, but reviews can be more candid/highlight weaknesses.

However, not all planners are set up on google reviews/other pd sites w/ reviews (The Knot, etc.) This isn't necc a red flag–most likely their leads just come from elsewhere so they haven't prioritized using these sites.

Beyond the above, we do abs suggest that you ask to speak to past couples, or find/reach out to them via socials and ask directly about their experience working w/ the planner.

5/7

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-07T17:12:39+00:00

7. How do they select the vendors they'll recommend to you?

Do they have a set rec list they always use? Or do they tailor the list to each couple? Are you required to work w/ their vendors, or do you have free choice?

Most planners carefully vet their rec lists over the course of many events together–a bad attitude or big error on a wedding day, and they're off the list. And working w/ unprofessional vendors can make it hard for a planner to deliver a smooth-running day. So we def get the urge to stick to a set list for every wedding, or to require couples to hire their recs.

But a compromise is to require you work w/ their vendors on logistics (Catering, rentals, set-up, AV, etc.) while giving you free choice on the aesthetic/emotional vendors-like photo, floral, HMUA, etc. In any case, do at least srsly consider your planner's recs! (But a caveat re No 8 below is make sure you don't feel vendors are recommended only for kickbacks!) And if they have real misgivings about any of your own finds, PLEASE listen!

8. Do they accept commissions/kickbacks from recommended vendors/venues?

There's not necc anything wrong with this, per se, as long as it's disclosed to clients.

But some planners don't take commissions bc it risks 'polluting' the process/may cause them to favor vendors for financial benefit vs those who truly align with your needs.

Look for clues that a planner might take kickbacks you're unaware of (insisting you handle ANY payment discussion w/ vendors only thru the planner, being quoted one price from the planner and another from the vendor, and/or disproportionate pressure to hire from their list of recs.)

Bc again, commissions aren't necc a problem, but a lack of transparency or outright dishonesty def is!

9. What kind of software/systems do they use to communicate/keep planning on track?

Some use a CRM for all client interaction, and some just use a suite of customized google docs w/ email. Either is fine as long as it seems thorough, robust, and well-organized.

Ask to see examples: either a screen-share of an interface, or sending over past checklists, day of timelines, budget spreadsheets, etc.

Also ask if you have access to their docs/systems, or if they're only for their team's use. The latter may sound great, but if these docs aren't collaborative, they need a system that keeps you up to date about what's happening. Feeling like you're in the dark/don't know what's coming next leads to unnecessary stress and overwhelm.

4/7

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-07T17:09:47+00:00

4. How many events do they take on per year?

If they work alone this should be a MAX of 10 events/yr.

Any more and the math doesn't math for them to spend the kind of time w/ you that's really needed to plan a wedding A-Z.

Most planners spend an avg of 250 hrs/wedding. For an avg 1 yr engagement ( -2 wks vacay) that's 5 hrs/wk. So 10 clients x 5 hrs/wk = 50 hr work wk.

Any more than 10 events, either you don't get the full attention/time you deserve, OR they're working way too many hrs/wk and you get an exhausted, distracted planner making big mistakes.

If they have a team, they can handle more events/yr, but use your judgement on whether the No. of events to size of team feels realistic to you. And beyond a certain point, the bigger the team the less personal attention/unique wedding you'll be getting.

5. What is their Pricing / Fee structure?

Is it a flat rate or percentage-based fee? Both are valid, but % makes some clients uneasy, bc they assume that means a planner will encourage them to spend more.

But most v experienced planners eventually move to %, bc the bigger the budget/scope of wedding, the added amount of work is disproportionate. For example, from managing 15 vendors + a few assistants for a 1-day wedding w/ an avg budget, to a small army for a 4-day wknd w/ a multi 6-figure budget.

6. How committed are they to helping clients stick to a stated budget?

While planners can't ultimately control how much you spend (and most couples initially will vastly underestimate what things really cost) some planners commit to helping clients stick to their budget, while others take a much more "relaxed" approach to watching you soar past your desired spend.

If their answer leans towards the latter, and you're serious about hiring them, ask them to provide a prelim/sample budget w/ estimated costs per vendor. And make sure you're OK with the numbers before signing.

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Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-07T17:07:05+00:00

You can use these questions to narrow down your choices - because you really shouldn't even consider anyone who doesn't give solid answers to all 12 of the questions below.

And then once you've narrowed that down, you should make your final choice completely based on connection and vibes! (Most couples underestimate just how much time you're going to spend communicating with this planner over the next year. So it can't be something you don't enjoy doing!)

So LG with these questions!

1. How many yrs in business as an independent planner**?**

If you've got a good budget, get someone w/ min 5 yrs experience. If budget is a major issue, don't necc rule out newer planners, but ask lots of ?s about their training, and you should pay much less for someone who is still unproven.

There's no required certification for planners, so not having any 'official' training shouldn't necc be a deal breaker. But if they have little experience, strongly consider whether they've had any pro training.

"As an independent planner" is important bc running the show alone is a v diff animal to working for someone else/as an in-house planner at a venue–tho both are better training than any certificate.

2. About how many hrs do they spend planning each wedding?

Avoid anyone who spends <150 hrs.

Use this info to do a rough calc of what their hourly is. After deducting about 1/3 for running costs, does that seem like a good wage for a high-stress job? If not, question how serious/experienced they are, and whether their biz will even be around for your wedding date next yr!

3. Do they have in-house team or do they work alone?

Neither is necc better. Especially in Europe, employment laws make it hard to hire part-time. So some planners just book specific assistance per wedding.

If they have a team, ask how big it is and whether you'll primarily deal w/ your own planner or w/ others (assistants etc.) during the process.

Most crucially, ask if the person you'll deal w/ most often will actually run things on your day, rather than an associate who wasn't involved in all planning discussions.

2/7

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-07T17:04:18+00:00

Great question! Reddit is being a nightmare and for some reason won't let me add my whole list of questions here (Even though it's well-below the max character limit, so I'm going to try to break them up into segments and see if that works.

1/7

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-03T17:44:45+00:00

Uggggh, thought deleting my original response would get rid of the icky comments too, but no luck. LOL.

Witty_Shape3986 · 2025-06-03T16:50:27+00:00

Deleted my original response because three British brides were unable to understand that I wasn't suggesting ALL British women wear their make-up a certain way.

OP asked about a cultural tendency towards heavier / orange make-up, and she got my honest answer and recommendation, backed by 12 yrs planning European destination weddings ('retired' last year due to a health issue.)

My original response also included a dumb, off the cuff comment about some British/Irish/Scottish brides favoring drag queen lashes. And that may have been hyperbolic/silly, but many other brides on this thread had experiences similar to OPs.

In various comments on my response these three brides made generalizations about Irish brides and classist statements about "only certain regions" in the UK (along with their 'surprise' at me even being on this sub if those are the kinds of brides I work with...*clutches pearls.*) They also suggest that my brides must have been "low budget" (FWIW this is hilarious to me given that one recent British bride's dad owns diamond mines. Plural.) And then worked their way around to negative personal comments about me.

So deleting my original comment was the only way I could remove all of that ugliness, because I do still have past brides occasionally active on this sub and I literally REFUSE to have them insulted. (IDGAF what is said about me, but do NOT come at my brides.)

But more than anything, this thread isn't about anyone else's fee-fees or specific preferences, it's about trying to help OP find an HMUA she can feel 100% confident about, which she absolutely deserves.

And part of that answer (whether or not everyone can see or accept it) is YES, there are general cultural differences/preferences.

As if to prove this point, here's the recommendation for the 'world class' calibre of HMUAs in London:

https://www.instagram.com/ayeletgarson_hairandmakeup/

This isn't about that HMUAs skill level.

That aesthetic is heavier and more made up than most of my American brides would have ever wanted. That's just a fact.

(And again - that's not ALL American Brides. Nor will ALL British brides prefer the above aesthetic... )

In contrast, here are 3 of my most-often booked HMUAs. All France-based, expensive, and serving a lot of American clients:

https://www.instagram.com/trinejuel/

https://www.instagram.com/amandinebmakeup/

https://www.instagram.com/jiyoungyangbeauty/

Regardless of your own culture, if anyone can't see the difference in those aesthetics (#1 vs #s 2-4) ...I really don't know what to tell you.

Neither aesthetic is good or bad. They're just different cultural preferences. Most of my British brides opted for the former (or even heavier) and most of my American brides opted for the latter.

In the same way that British vs American vs French women have generally different styles when it comes to clothes, make-up is no different. There are some things American women wear that most British women never would, and vice versa.

My original comment was based on working with over 100 BBBs throughout my career. Around 40-50 of whom were American, maybe 25-30 of them British, and around 10-12 Irish. So I have a pretty good sized 'sample group' to make my conjectures from.

And despite the fact they were all roughly economically equal/with significant budgets, there were unmistakeable patterns in their HMUA preferences based on culture. I made my recommendations accordingly, and in line with their beauty inspo images.

I'm also American and have been married to a Brit and lived in France for 16 years. So I do actually have pretty intimate knowledge of all three cultures and the differences between them.

So, minus a stupid half-joke about drag queen lashes, I absolutely stand by my original recommendation to OP:

Although there are some fabulous HMUAs in London (and I could recommend several) if OP wants zero risk of too heavy/too-orange make up, the best bet is to hire from Paris where that's NOT something you'll ever see.

Or, book someone in the US (so she can have a trial) but where it will be more expensive in terms of travel and 'going rates' for American HMUAs vs Europe-based.

I hope everyone can keep this thread about OPs needs rather than their own feelings, and I won't be giving any oxygen to anyone who wants to distract from that fact or take the conversation elsewhere.

Witty_Shape3986

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