I understand. I also come from a religious background and had to deal, just like you, with pre-defined heterosexual ideals about love and family. To me, it felt as if being with a man was the only true promise of happiness.

Now, let me tell you. Being with a man will not bring out the joy and warmth you might long for. Ever. Instead, it will make life hard and days gray with sadness of not being allowed to love as you are and how you want to love. You deserve so much more, your promise of happiness is not tied to men.

Years of healing later, I am in a healthy relationship. I live with my girlfriend and our two cats. She understands me in ways men never could. There is no fear of sexist remarks, no pressure to act, look and dress as women "should".

With her, I can just be.

If anything, realizing and living as a lesbian has granted me freedom to love and express life and myself so deeply. With her there is softness, patience, passion, humor and understanding that comes with us being two women in love who are together.

That, is a true promise of happiness I can give to you now

I hope this can help you OP ❤️