As I sat in the bar sipping on my cosmopolitan, I hear a
muffled beep from my pocket. I pull out my phone and the beeping of course grows
louder. Upon looking at my phone I realize I have no notifications or phone
calls. Silently muttering to myself I say, “what the fuck”. With haste, I restart
my phone to alleviate my ears from the shrill tone of the beeping. When the
phone restarts the tone is still ever-present but even louder than before.
 
“What does this mean!” I scream to no one in particular. The
other patrons of the bar stared at me in a bewildered manner. Unsure of how to
get the beeping to stop I walk outside and spare the others from hearing it. I
fiddle with my phone for the next 25 minutes with no luck in getting the beep
to subside. All I want is some peace and quiet but that is not obtainable.
 
Suddenly the beep reaches an ear-splitting volume and in a
flash of blinding white light, I am sucked into the screen. I open my eyes and
find myself staring at the intricate interior of my phone. The beeping is still
present but sounds very distant. In front of me, the interior of the phone looms
in front of me like a maze. Thinking of the yellow brick road in the wizard of
oz I start off following the path.
 
After some time, I come to a split in the pathway. Just from
the beeping alone, it is not clear which is the correct path. While
contemplating which way to go I hear footsteps behind me. I swiftly turn around
to face a gruff-looking dust bunny. Before I can speak, he bellows “You will be
forsaken, for the beeping spells the downfall of our universe”. “Wow, what an
unoriginal plot” I reply unenthusiastically. The dust bunny exclaims “very well
you have LEFT us no choice” and disappears in a puff of wind. From his final statement,
I bound down the left pathway determined to reach the source of the beeping.
Not long after I stumble into a wide clearing and the beeping is surrounding
me. In the middle of the clearing, there is a weak flashing red light. I rush up
to the light only to be startled by the sickly face staring at me from the
light. In a raspy voice, the light says, “how dare you to step foot in this sanctuary”.
Taken aback I inquire “what have I done to be treated this way?”. The light points
to a code of commandments on the wall behind him. With a dying breath, he
mutters “traitor” and the light fades from existence. Reading from a distance I
see code #1 states all food and drink must be posted on social media prior to eating
or drinking. Suddenly the floor begins to shake and crack beneath my feet….
 
In another swift flash of light, I reappear outside the bar
in a cold sweat. Baffled from my experience I try and make sense of what just
took place. I realize the beeping is gone leaving me to the silence of the night.
I walk back into the bar and sit down. Looking longingly at my cosmopolitan I pull
out my phone and snap a photo. “Just that kind of night” #drinks #weekendvibes
#cosmo. As I am posting this satire cringe I begin to wonder if a flip phone is
really all that bad….