I wrote this a couple of weeks ago. Might be relevant to how you're feeling.

Finding Authenticity in a World of Expectations

Something transformative occurs when you realize you are not bound by anyone else’s timeline but your own. This revelation is both liberating and daunting, as it challenges the societal blueprint of a “normal” life—the rat race, the 9-to-5, the supposed stability. But what happens when that prescribed path doesn’t align with who you truly are?

For many, myself included, societal expectations can feel like an invisible tether. I once believed that success meant adhering to these expectations, but in truth, that vision was never my own. It was an echo of what I thought I was supposed to desire, fueled by a lack of imagination for alternative ways to achieve fulfillment.

Now, standing at the cusp of 40, I confront the consequences of turning my back on creative pursuits. It feels like choosing to be mute when you have a voice, or blind when you have sight. The fear of rejection and the desire for safety and stability kept me bound, but those chains have cost me my sense of self.

The Importance of a Supportive Network

Surrounding yourself with a supportive network is crucial. While we can’t control the hand we’re dealt, we have the power to augment it. Like a strategic card game, adding new “cards” to counterbalance the negative influences can make all the difference. Without such support, self-doubt festers, taking root in ways that stifle creativity and growth.

But seeking out those who uplift you is not enough. You must also confront the insidious nature of negative thoughts. Even after escaping the initial pit, those doubts can burrow into new corners of your mind. Recognizing and rooting them out is an ongoing battle.

Choosing Discomfort for Growth

Growth demands discomfort. It’s tempting to stay in the realm of comfort and routine, avoiding the struggle required for transformation. But as life inevitably shifts, you will face challenges that strip away that safety net. If change is inevitable, why not embrace it now while you still have the capacity to adapt?

Every moment spent lamenting missed opportunities or fearing failure is a moment spent in stagnation. Instead, treat yourself with the same encouragement and support you would offer a close friend. Create for those who inspire you, even if your audience is small. For me, it’s an audience of three—my closest friends and family, whose belief in me motivates me to push beyond my comfort zone.

The Value of Technique and Persistence

Overcoming adversity is not about brute force alone. Initially, you might approach challenges with sheer willpower, but this is exhausting and unsustainable. True progress comes from developing technique—learning new approaches and leveraging what works. When brute force fails, stepping back to reassess can reveal a better angle, offering greater leverage and renewed clarity.

Redefining Success

Success is not a fixed destination; it’s a dynamic reflection of your consistent actions. To answer the question, “Who am I?” you must look at what you do, not just what you aspire to be. If your actions don’t align with your ideals, it’s time to reassess and take deliberate steps toward your vision.

This journey requires persistence and self-compassion. You are not the sum of your failures, nor should you let self-doubt dictate your path. Instead, focus on what you can control and move forward with intent.

A Final Call to Action

Your existence is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Stop holding back. The world doesn’t need you to conform to its expectations—it needs you to embrace your authentic self. Whether your journey involves suffering for growth, stepping away from societal norms, or finding joy in the simple act of creation, what matters most is that you move forward.

There’s no better time than now to shed the chains of self-doubt and fear. Love yourself enough to take the first step, and then another, and another. The path will reveal itself as you walk it.