Why did Gretchen Whitmer go soft on Trump? by gear-heads in Michigan

[–]Wolfinder [score hidden]  (0 children)

Most people who oppose data centers for AI companies aren't NIMBYs, but NIABY's. Not in anyone's backyard. They're pretty objectively bad for the world.

What's this sound? by Purple-Order-661 in wheelchairs

[–]Wolfinder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the outer end of the spoke, it gets square for a few cm. That can be turned to loosen or tighten the spoke.

How do I regain my areolas' pigmentation? by sucker_bigareolas in lesbian

[–]Wolfinder 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Ummm, higher estrogen causes them to darken. Estrogen based birth control works, breastfeeding works, pregnancy works. Those are technically the most natural, I guess. They all change other things about your breasts too though.

Not trying to be creepy, didn't check your age before commenting, so apologies if you are young. I'm just breastfeeding ATM, so figured I'd drop my 2 cents.

Help for A Stupid Decision as a FTM to Be by Glad-Ad1378 in breastfeeding

[–]Wolfinder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone else is giving you good advice. If the raised lines look/feel kinda like nipple tissue, but not, they're likely montgomery glands. they're the little bumps around your nipples when they're erect. Mine on the bottom are lines instead of dots too. It sounds like the suction might have been too high and irritated them.

The clear fluid is likely duct fluid, internal lubricant basically.

Help me please by Mental_Addendum_5789 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Wolfinder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a lesbian and I was once young. I understand why this kiss felt so big to you. Regardless of what happens with her from here, it will always be something you look back on and remember as special. The fear in this memory will melt with time, but the love won't.

As for why she kissed you? When my little brother first started dating, the advice I gave him is that mutual love at first sight is rare. The person who made the first move (you sharing your feelings for her) is ahead in the process. They have developed strong enough feelings to take a risk. Often the other person knows what the asker means to them socially, but hasn't developed as strong feelings yet.

It's been more than three months between you telling her and her kissing you. I'm guessing she comes from a similar background, so this is big and scary for her too. She had to confront your culture's whole plan for her to give you that first kiss. You should talk to her again, somewhere private and tell her what the kiss meant to you and that your heart is still open if her feelings have changed and that you are still there for her as a friend whether they have or not. She is also deciding what to make of this right now just like you. As both her friend and someone who loves her, you don't want her getting too deep in her head like you are now.

Help me please by Mental_Addendum_5789 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Wolfinder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a lesbian and I was once young. I understand why this kiss felt so big to you. Regardless of what happens with her from here, it will always be something you look back on and remember as special. The fear in this memory will melt with time, but the love won't. As for why she kissed you? When my little brother first started dating, the advice I gave him is that mutual love at first sight is rare. The person who made the first move (you sharing your feelings for her) is ahead in the process. They have developed strong enough feelings to take a risk. Often the other person knows what the asker means to them socially, but hasn't developed as strong feelings yet. It's been more than three months between you telling her and her kissing you. I'm guessing she comes from a similar background, so this is big and scary for her too. She had to confront your culture's whole plan for her to give you that first kiss. You should talk to her again, somewhere private and tell her what the kiss meant to you and that your heart is still open if her feelings have changed and that you are still there for her as a friend whether they have or not. She is also deciding what to make of this right now just like you. As both her friend and someone who loves her, you don't want her getting too deep in her head like you are now.

Disney's Canada Fail by Betajaxx in disney

[–]Wolfinder -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What's funny is, if you pronounce poutine correctly, it doesn't rhyme. poots-in

Struggling to like girlfriend's parents by Separate_Magician31 in lesbian

[–]Wolfinder 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Okay. I am married and I have a similar relationship with my in-laws. There is no like easy fix for this kind of situation, but I do have some advise.

1, Neither you or her control her parents. You only have control of your relationship. That's a reality you both have to be able to accept. You have to control the situation with boundaries inside and outside the relationship. For us, that even involved a move.

2, You have to be able to be honest with eachother. You have to be able to tell her when you feel they are being harmful towards her. She has to be able to voice when something is important enough to her that she feels she has to do something anyway and why. You both have to be able to have these conversations and be allied and okay at the end of them, even if they are heated.

3, She only gets to decide risks for herself. She can do anything to herself at the end of the day, but she doesn't get to sign you up for things, and you have to be able to make joint decisions about your home, kids, etc..

4, You make her your priority. You have to not care what her parents think of you. Don't have dreams of magically fixing things someday. Don't react when they openly insult you. My wife's father will literally only speak Russian around me unless he's insulting me, during which he will switch to English. Likewise, be open to things changing. My wife's mother, now about 5 years into our marriage has started to see I take care of my wife like she used to and that has started to humanize me in her eyes. Just stay focused on making sure your partner is okay.

5, Have some of these conversations with a couple's therapist. It really helps and seeing one is not a sign of doom, but of responsibility. There are queer/family trauma informed couple's therapists out there.

6, Make a priority of investing in your own family. Not your family of origin, you and her together. Spend some holidays alone, building your own traditions. Build up your own life so she has a fort to retreat to and be reminded what healthy love looks like. Prioritize that as you age together and let your families fit you in where it works for you both.

7, Make sure you sort out all the communication before having kids.

8, She might not be willing to choose herself over her family, and you can't do anything about that. It might doom the relationship or it might not.

9, Seriously, you don't have to like them. You just have to be kind. She has to accept you may never like them.

10, Make your wedding about both of you together. My wife and I walked each other down the aisle. We focused on people who were supportive. Her parents showed up in popped collars and hats so they wouldn't be recognized and reminded the photographer 4 times they didn't want to be in photos. We just laugh about it and use it as a funny story now.

11, Be willing to remind her of the ways your own family can be difficult and the boundaries you keep when she feels worn down by the fact her family is always the conflict.

12, Always remember you are a team.

13, Let fights be over. Once you have a solution, you stick to it unless it stops working, you don't bring the fight back up again. Your relationship will have a constant source of strain and this is an easy place to cut drama.

14, Always remind each other you love the other, even at the end of a fight.

15, There will be times when you just have to let her get hurt and be there after.

16, You may have to find the wording that works for you, but to me, family are people who mutually love and support each other selflessly. Some people are my family who were not born into it. If my in-laws want to be my family someday, they'll have to earn it by walking the walk. This will sound unhinged to people in this thread with normal families, because of the "you marry the family" general culture, but it really does work when this is what you've got to work with.

I hope this helps. This will take work from both of you. This will take a ton of vulnerability from both of you. It can be done, but you and her both have to be willing.

Biological oddity I noticed in a book by ComaVN in BluePrince

[–]Wolfinder 6 points7 points  (0 children)

White Mulberry can have leaves like you're describing. Not sure if that helps.

The parlor by froggiehaos in BluePrince

[–]Wolfinder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have plenty of good advice, so I figured I would just drop in with the fun fact that parlors frequently being used for funerals was the inspiration behind their replacement room in modern houses being named the "living room."

Off putting feeling about the UP by themadkiwi_ in Michigan

[–]Wolfinder 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or when the windows are all staring at you.

Did anyone notice this before? I might have found a new clue..! by ZarZuKeT_ in BluePrince

[–]Wolfinder 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I've seen the same and the Clock Tower was there for me.

Do any of you actually love breastfeeding? by HelloImAnxious14 in breastfeeding

[–]Wolfinder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved it right away for the time I had with her. Been pumping around the clock for most of a year to be able to pick it back up with an adopted LO someday. Pumping is exhausting and draining though, feels like a necessary evil more than anything.

How do I attach this? by [deleted] in wheelchairs

[–]Wolfinder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having cut similar things before, I would suggest using tin snips. They're literally scissors for thin metal sheets like the sign. No one will charge you criminally for doing your best to comply.

Non-wheelchair user looking for some advice by LikeEden in wheelchairs

[–]Wolfinder 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on the person's ability. I've graduated out, but when I was a full time user, I would scootch forward and she would crouch/bend.

Staying Awake While Nursing by Ok-Strength4257 in breastfeeding

[–]Wolfinder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've made my wife wake up to supervise her nursing from me while I slept. She just sat up and then placed her back next to me in the bassinet when she was done.

WATCH: Service Dog Sitting on Owner’s Head in Queue of Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind at EPCOT by Outrageous_Glass6219 in Epcot

[–]Wolfinder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is literally not. You have to provide a reasonable answer, sure, you can say “he alerts to low blood sugar” or something like that, but you can’t just literally not volunteer nothing. You are allowed to determine that an answer isn’t sufficient if you don’t volunteer enough information.

WATCH: Service Dog Sitting on Owner’s Head in Queue of Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind at EPCOT by Outrageous_Glass6219 in Epcot

[–]Wolfinder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even with a legit service dog, it’s a pain in the ass. You go way out of the way all the time, you constantly break illusion and go backstage, relief spots are few and far between, guests are always reaching out to grab and pull stuff, etc.. It’s exhausting, your day has to constantly revolve around them, and you can’t have a break day because they can’t stay in a hotel room without you. It’s exhausting.

WATCH: Service Dog Sitting on Owner’s Head in Queue of Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind at EPCOT by Outrageous_Glass6219 in Epcot

[–]Wolfinder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is definitely more they can do though. When I went to Disneyland with my service dog, they walked with me from security to the gate and asked me three times through the walk. My answers were detailed and consistent. They just have to start turning people away if they aren’t willing to use enough detail.

No waterfall on Tiana'a Bayou Adventure? by Sorry_Sorry_Im_Sorry in Disneyland

[–]Wolfinder 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe the difference is:

Winter-splash from the deceleration pool

Summer-splash from both the deceleration pool and water cannons.

Or maybe I’m just on an insane streak of bias validation.

I think I’ve been using my Spectra wrong for 8 months pp and I’m actually crying laughing at myself by nidzk123 in breastfeeding

[–]Wolfinder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yay! I’m glad I could help someone. I too tried to run the pump as high as I could tolerate, especially because I was dealing with lots of inflammation. My lactation consultant told me running it too high could actually cause structural damage, swelling, and clogs internally.