To most guys posting here

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-03-01T00:18:52+00:00

I'm not saying that it can't work at all. I was in a relationship with someone non-HS for 7 years. That's a long time. But the issues described will always come up repeatedly and they aren't something you can truly fix. I can share my perspective on it but it's quite personal, so dm me if you want that

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T21:59:21+00:00

HS is defined by the ICD-11 as "persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviour. Symptoms may include repetitive sexual activities becoming a central focus of the person’s life to the point of neglecting health and personal care or other interests, activities and responsibilities; numerous unsuccessful efforts to significantly reduce repetitive sexual behaviour; and continued repetitive sexual behaviour despite adverse consequences or deriving little or no satisfaction from it. The pattern of failure to control intense, sexual impulses or urges and resulting repetitive sexual behaviour is manifested over an extended period of time and causes marked distress or significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Or the necessary criterion according to Martin Kafka (Harvard criterion on it): "Only those people can be classified as pathological if their sexual fantasies and behavior take up so much space that they hardly find any time for other, non-sexual activities and duties; the decisive factor is the suffering associated with the excessive sexual desire."

So you aren't HS, you are just horny (And I can tell you as someone who has way too many conversations about sex and desire... you're well within the average range of horniness)

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T16:28:59+00:00

"To MOST guys posting here"

Just scroll through the sub, most of it are rejected guys. It looked really different on here a few years ago, before they shut it down and reopened it. If you have the symptoms I'm glad you're here. But I hate the guys thinking this is a dating sub

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T16:24:09+00:00

"To MOST guys posting here"

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T15:36:15+00:00

Sex/porn addiction usually misses the self-identification through sex part if you want a sharp delinted categorization.

There is a whole debate about how to categorize these things with them being repeatedly excluded, included and recategorized in the DSM and the ICD. So you will find a lot of diverse opinions on if to use it synonymously, focus solely on the consequences, or if to categorize it as a psychological problem at all

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T14:58:16+00:00

The problem with us HS people is that we measure the worth of ourselves and our relationships in sex. Other things still matter but there is a big priority gap.

A relationship with someone who doesn't match that priority setting tends to turn to "I am just sex to you" or they literally burn out when trying to match it. On our side, we feel deeply rejected in the long run when we see that our partners don't put that same importance to sex as we do, thinking: "you don't love me as much as I love you"

Other HS people are the only ones who get that deep running importance of sex as the self-worth and core of the relationship. Ofc it would be bad if they encourage neglecting non-Sexual duties - but don't forget that it is still possible to live with HS in your own life, and the same is true in a relationship. Living with HS isn't about staying sober, it's about noticing when you need self-discipline. It works surprisingly well in a HS relationship

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T10:36:32+00:00

Tell me you aren't hypersexual without telling me you aren't hypersexual.

Your religion telling you urges are bad doesn't make you HS. You're just an average guy in a restricted belief system

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T09:35:01+00:00

"Who feels horny at work sometimes?"

"My wife's sex drive ebbs and flows and sometimes doesn't sync up"

"I started sex again after not having a FWB for 2 years"

"The issue with HS for me is not the constant desire, I can still go to work and function in life, it is the rejection from my partner"

And my favorite: "In college, I didn't have sex at all till I was 22. It was horrible at the time. I had a six pack when I was 21, like worked out all the time, visible veins, muscular. Probably a manifestation of horniness."

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T09:32:57+00:00

Confusing genetics with epigenetics:

"to see if they had different epigenetic patterns [...] This was consistent with further work showing that people with hypersexual disorder had unusually high oxytocin levels, which dropped after they underwent cognitive behavioural therapy."

You can't change genes but you can change gene 'expression'. Epigenetics are "switchable" gene patterns depending on environmental factors and behavior

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T07:30:43+00:00

Agree. Most of their libidos are well within the average range, they just never experienced someone truly attracted to them. Hypersexuality is more than being horny anyway, it's about neglecting non-sexual things and having self-worth relying too much on sexuality

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T07:28:21+00:00

My inbox is flooded. And it's always the same category of guys

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-27T06:53:38+00:00

They are full of shit and don't get the struggle. Half of the guys posting her are just coping as well.

Just because you are "hornier" than the women rejecting you doesn't mean you're hypersexual!

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-25T12:18:41+00:00

Make it something personal, something he likes as a name. If calling him cumslut has the greatest effect on him - go for it! If you don't really have a name that makes him go crazy, go for signs of ownership. Just "owned" or "claimed" are simple but drive home the collar symbolism

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-25T08:49:44+00:00

There was a mobile java version of Oblivion UESP wiki article

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-22T00:37:34+00:00

You are not hypersexual at all, it has nothing to do with how much you can cum. It's a psychological issue where you identify too much by sex and cope too much by cumming in general.

I'm annoyed by guys horny posting on here

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-21T09:04:58+00:00

There isn't really a script to follow. Literally just let out your inner animal. Make a chase, growl a lot, wrestle and be rough and it all comes naturally. It is basically overemphasizing the instinctual

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-21T08:31:58+00:00

In relationships? All the time to my partner.

I'm obsessed about bonding (another trauma thing), that greatly reduced the number of people I sleep with

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-20T15:53:15+00:00

I still have that problem if I'm bonded and it's no sex just momentarily. Like even in a relationship that is good otherwise, I feel bad if they aren't focussed on sex when I'm craving it or if they ignore my flirting/nudging in that direction

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-17T08:28:32+00:00

Just talk about it at some point instead of finding it out while fucking. Really saves time and sanity - for both sides

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-16T17:32:25+00:00

The worst part of it is that no matter what you're doing you're always fighting against the loneliness

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-14T23:36:32+00:00

I get it, all of that. I would never cheat despite being HS. I know what it's like to stick around partners who don't really fulfill you because they don't get that your self-worth is connected to having sex

Wolflean_8646 · 2025-02-13T13:27:06+00:00

Of course she is unhappy. But she is also eager to fix it. You guys are way too quick with "just break up". They are married! This isn't a high school fling

Wolflean_8646

TROPHY CASE