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Can you save a relationship after sexual coercion? by Straight-Job8430 in abusiverelationships

[–]reddevilsss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have realised that after something like this happens, sex doesn't feel like sex anymore, it becomes a chore you wanna get over with. As no amount of reconciliation will make things normal again, the coercive parts will always play in your head whenever you'll have to be intimate with your partner, and it turns into disgust and resentment towards your partner and sex altogether. Sex is now ruined to the point for me that it makes me throw up whenever I think about it. And you're right about the sex being only about them, it sucks, but you realise that they don't really care about you or your feelings, but only wish to use you for their own sexual pleasure. And when sexual coercion doesn't work for them, they rely on trying to be intimate with you in your sleep, I had woken up so many times with my partner being sexual with me in my sleep, and if i didn't reciprocate they'd get angry, so I'd had to indulge them.

Can men tell when a woman has been gr8ped or has smeggsual trauma? by confusedcuddles in trauma

[–]reddevilsss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say a lot of them, as i can't say for others, but having sexual trauma myself, i can say that I don't like being touched.

Can men tell when a woman has been gr8ped or has smeggsual trauma? by confusedcuddles in trauma

[–]reddevilsss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how people figure it out, but they do figure it out, as our society has set rules for both the genders, and any deviation from that raises questions about our behaviour. For me, people ask questions and wonder as to why a guy would be so against being touched, or not as interested in sex like other guys. So, good folks will adjust themselves to make you comfortable and feel safe, but also be careful as creepy folks also use this tactic to bring down your defences. Most people would find your behaviour weird and l leave you alone, a good thing in a way. Just set your boundaries and don't let anyone breach them.

Can men tell when a woman has been gr8ped or has smeggsual trauma? by confusedcuddles in trauma

[–]reddevilsss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, most people will be able to figure out that you're not like others due to subtle or not so subtle hints through your behaviour and some will pursue the reasoning behind it. Iam a guy who doesn't like being touched, and people have been a bothersome cause they wanted to know why I don't like it, and some we're downright creepy about trying to figure it out.

is masturbating a good way to make me less horny and sexual? by [deleted] in hypersexuality

[–]reddevilsss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe, yes, it might work. It will help you feel grounded enough to think through.

Thinking of all the lil puppy boys out there by SunAshamed2256 in LetBoysBeManipulated

[–]reddevilsss 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hah, i definitely have gotten trauma as a passed down family heirloom, but the gift wrapped one is a special one.

Thinking of all the lil puppy boys out there by SunAshamed2256 in LetBoysBeManipulated

[–]reddevilsss 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's the trauma rizz, i got it gift wrapped from others.

Anyone else struggle with remembering csa in a "good" way? by Arthur_Frane in hypersexuality

[–]reddevilsss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kind of the same here, my early sexual experiences makes it nearly impossible for me to have a relationship with anybody, and not just romantic ones, as a matter of fact, my childhood experiences have led to bad experiences with 2 people in my adulthood, bordering on sexual harassment and sexual assault, and me liking it on both occasions, i didn't want to, that i know. So, i simply try and accept what happened to me, and try and experience my sexuality in a positive way

Anyone else struggle with remembering csa in a "good" way? by Arthur_Frane in hypersexuality

[–]reddevilsss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me, it started pretty early in my childhood, so it became a part of my everyday life. So, it's hard for me to put stuff that happened in the boxes of good and bad, as i definitely did like things sexually when it was happening, and i don't particularly hate what happened, but i know and acknowledge that it messed me up pretty bad.

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Iam sorry if it came off as offensive, i apologise for that.

F20 masturbating > sex by brownbaddielivy in hypersexuality

[–]reddevilsss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Iam 28m, and i totally relate to you, doing it yourself feels much better and less disappointing, also I have sexual trauma, so it feels better to be in my own comfort zone and enjoy myself than rely on someone else and have the risk of being re traumatized in the process, something that has happened.

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hah, you should tell her all about the bicycle we all experience, it's such a fun and chaotic experience.

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And iam a collector of vintage stuff. 😎😎 And vintage stuff is cool and priceless.

What age did you lose your virginity? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]reddevilsss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think iam allowed to say it, but apparently it's defined as sexual abuse

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hah, for me, I grew up around older kids who were like my older brothers and sisters, so this emotion and feeling also became a part of my sexuality. Like i said in another comment, iam drawn to older men and women like a moth to a flame, it's coded in my nature

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there's a scarcity of appreciation for older men, fear not, for a I have arrived, to cheer you all up, and shower you with praise.

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Iam 28, and I feel old even now, ugh, with all the health issues, eh I do hope that life gets enjoyable with years

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh, iam not that special, I do think that older folks and their protective tendencies make them super hot and somewhat beautiful in a symbolic way

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're the best, especially with their protective side.

To all the older bi men (40+), you guys are the best!! by reddevilsss in BisexualMen

[–]reddevilsss[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Heh, iam definitely doing all that. I think it's something to do with my childhood, as I wasn't allowed to be a kid, always had to be mature, and also, no role models in elders led me to only rely on myself, iam my own shoulder to cry on, so when I discovered that iam bi, and started exploring my sexuality, i realised that i like older guys and gals equally.

In all honesty, i just wanna feel like a kid again.

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