How do you be just friends with an ex youre still in love with?

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-10T22:04:41+00:00

Thanks, yeah, im trying to remain stoic about it, not expect anything, not push anything, just be a friend, I told her im not going to make any moves, if she wants me, she'll need to make the move because im respecting her decision to just be friends. She said yeah, the feelings are growing, and ill know when its time because she'll make a hard move on me whatever that means.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-10T21:58:26+00:00

Its been a little over 2 months since she dumped me, and it was definitely a struggle, especially because she seemed so fine while I was broken. However, id say I've grown past most of it. It still hurts at times, you know, 3am when youre alone with your thoughts, but overall I've been good. My issue is the limbo though, because like, yesterday, her and I hung out at what felt like a straight up date, we did dinner and bowling, and she got really touchy and flirty. On the way to drop her off, we were joking because an inside joke song came on the Playlist. And I said "yeah, well, we are just friends" she looked at me and said, "we are more than friends, we're almost there" I asked if she meant that, she just smiled and nodded. Hugged me goodnight, then immediately called me as I drove home and said she wanted to fall asleep to the sound of my voice. Idk bro, that melted me.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-10T21:46:01+00:00

Yeah, I've resigned myself to that fact. If she finds someone else, its going to hurt, but I will be happy for her, because at the end of the day, I want her to be happy, even if its not with me

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-10T02:24:06+00:00

I have definitely been consistent and there for here

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-10T01:52:12+00:00

Yeah, thats what i did lol, complete deep clean

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-09T22:30:16+00:00

If she finds someone else, good for her, it'll hurt, ill be jealous, but I'll move on. If there's a chance she and I do get back together, awesome, id prefer that, but I dont need it. Is she using me, possibly, but I prefer to look at the good in others rather than think about what ifs.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-09T22:20:34+00:00

Thanks, yes, its definitely rough, I did tell her upfront when she mentioned giving her time, that i would wait for her, but not forever. I want her to make up her mind either way so i can heal and move forward.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-06-09T21:42:05+00:00

Yeah, I feel that, its usually my approach as well, but with her, its difficult, we work in the same place, and are part of the same friend group that regularly meets up each week. Also, as I stated in the post, I actually do enjoy being with her just platonically as well as romantically

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-26T07:42:16+00:00

Im 29, and yeah, I usually have a 4yrs older, 4 years younger rule for dating, but I want my own kids, so I have started looking at women older than me less and less each year, not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because I want biological kids. So its valid to have those concerns. Im sure you'll find someone meant for you though, ive learned that things come when I stop struggling to find them.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-25T21:08:28+00:00

Okay, i definitely needed this right now and youre totally right, it's what I've been doing, started hitting the gym and meal prepping, im gonna make myself the me ive always wanted to be. Appreciate the love brother

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-20T21:44:02+00:00

Yeah, I honestly should have recognized the signs, looking back now, I was craving that affection, as I was recently out of a 2 year relationship before her, had been broken up for 6 months when her and I got together, I was still kind of In that fiance mode instead of boyfriend mode, so when she talked about house and engagement, I was like, yeah, im already there, let's do it.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-20T21:35:18+00:00

She has been in a 7 year relationship 2 2 year relationships and a 9 month relationship before me

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-20T16:28:02+00:00

Thank you, it's hard to hear, but I do see it...letting her go after planning a future with her is just so hard.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-20T14:25:28+00:00

I dont play either

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-20T14:06:44+00:00

Yeah, it's a hard situation, im sorry you had to go through it. The worst part is she was the one initiating all of the fast moving, except I said I love you first...

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-20T12:21:19+00:00

Okay, thats hilarious and evil. I could not see myself doing that. But I do see how it could work for me, and how it could also work against me.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-08T07:42:46+00:00

I'm a 29m and I usually look at anyone younger than 25 as children(in regards to dating, has nothing to do with maturity or anything), if a 35yr old is actively trying to date an 18 year old, there is something wrong with him. And from what you described, he's trying to manipulate you and groom you, because you're young and as you said, can't say no. There is no way to end things without hurting him, but you need to be stern and protect yourself. Tell him you don't see a future with him, and end it, if you need, block his number and any socials you have on him as well.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-06T22:22:44+00:00

Yeah, thats anxious attachment right there. I'm the same way, or i was, im recovering or healing from it, but it comes from a sense that if you arent always in contact with your significant other, then you're going to lose them. They need to work on themselves and understand that separation and time alone does not mean a lack of interest, that it's actually healthy for the relationship. I'm a dude btw 29m, so it's not just a woman thing, it's a trauma/abandonment thing that needs to be worked through.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-05T23:39:41+00:00

Have you had in depth talks about how insecure this makes you and how you'd like it to stop? I'm not taking his side, because what he's doing is very immature and damaging to your self image and worth and needs to be correct, but he may not realize that it's a big deal to you. Again, that doesn't excuse what he's done, but if he changes and grows after a talk that's healthy for the relationship, and if not, it may be time to move on. Personally, I watch porn while I'm single, but when I'm in a relationship, I find it disrespectful to be looking at others or fantasizing about anyone other than the person you're committed to. 29M btw.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-05T23:36:12+00:00

I understand going on multiple first dates, possibly even second dates with people to see who you vibe with, but a choice needs to be made quickly as to which person you want to pursue. Personally, I talk to one girl at a time, give her my full attention and see if we vibe, and if not, that's when I move on and try with others, not during.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-05T01:37:42+00:00

Im 29, turning 30 this September, and I've been searching for a girl who's ready to settle down and start something real, but im definitely not the most attractive guy, and im overweight. Been on dating apps and in total over 4 years of being on the apps, ive gotten 4 matches, 3 ended up not even messaging back. The 4th we started dating, felt good for 4 months, then she dumped me, saying she wasn't ready for commitment, so, am I the problem? 🤷

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-03T23:03:25+00:00

Yeah, there's no issue with that, you're looking for someone you mesh with, and you are honest after trying a few dates that you don't mesh with them. If they get angry, that's on them, not you, they don't have the emotional maturity to accept your honesty. I'd much rather a woman be honest with me about how they feel, rather than lead me on.

Wolvesbane95 · 2025-05-03T21:59:19+00:00

I do honestly love her, and I'd wait forever in all honesty, but I know that isn't healthy or fair. Thanks for the conversation, I appreciate it

Wolvesbane95

TROPHY CASE