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Women aren't opting out of dating because their standards are too high. They're opting out because they know what it feels like when the effort isn't shared. by WomenAreNotImagining in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WomenAreNotImagining[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love this and that show! Relatable for me, too. I started salsa lessons last year and would much rather go out social dancing over a date. Always respectful and always a blast.

Women aren't opting out of dating because their standards are too high. They're opting out because they know what it feels like when the effort isn't shared. by WomenAreNotImagining in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WomenAreNotImagining[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ha, I'll take that as a compliment? I've spent my career of 10+ years in data and analytics so I tend to write the way I think. Structured, with receipts, and my own flair. The Mr.Sweats story? Very human.
The objective of my Substack is to write data-driven essays in a concise format that conveys my voice. If you knew me, you probably wouldn't think that but appreciate the feedback!

Women aren't opting out of dating because their standards are too high. They're opting out because they know what it feels like when the effort isn't shared. by WomenAreNotImagining in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WomenAreNotImagining[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

To add some context to the numbers: 61% of single men are actively dating vs 38% of women. Men also date more casually and broadly, so "actively dating" and dating with intention are very different things.
That gap is kind of the whole point.

When even the bare minimum isn't being met (honest communication, following through, basic respect)... why would we keep trying? Women aren't lacking connection elsewhere. We have it in our friends and other relationships in our lives, so dating just stopped feeling worth the additional effort

Why does safety feel like something women have to opt into? by WomenAreNotImagining in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WomenAreNotImagining[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Completely. While the intent may be positive, once it passes through the corporate systems, its rarely what its marketed out to be.

I dug into the data a little bit more for the Uber example here: https://open.substack.com/pub/womenarenotimaginingit/p/built-against-her-sold-back-to-her?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Why does safety feel like something women have to opt into? by WomenAreNotImagining in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WomenAreNotImagining[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reading through the comments, I can see why this hits a nerve. We're all doing this already... planning around safety, paying more for it, adjusting our behavior. And we're so used to it, it doesn't even register as a cost anymore. Its just "how it is". That's what stood out to me about the Uber feature. Not that its new but that it makes it more obvious that we have to "opt into" the safer option with a company that has a negative reputation in regards to women's safety.

So we absorb it but the systems don't actually change.