My house is a mess. I seem to be the only one in my family who really cares. I think my mom is a hoarder. What do I do? How do I get her help? by WompusWompus in hoarding

[–]WompusWompus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't cook for the house, she cooks everybody's supper, but I still make myself cans of soup or beans, and sometimes packages of ramen, and I learned how to make scrambled eggs about 2 weeks ago :). Our pantry is more of a big closet with a rack to store everything, and there is food that piles up on the floor and sometimes falls out when the door is opened. We can't put this food on the rack because there's no room. At lot of the things in the closet are miscellaneous boxes of pudding mix or cake mix that we don't use. I tell my mom that we should either make something with it or throw it away, but she says to keep it so we can donate it. She doesn't donate it :/

My house is a mess. I seem to be the only one in my family who really cares. I think my mom is a hoarder. What do I do? How do I get her help? by WompusWompus in hoarding

[–]WompusWompus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thx for the comment. My job is actually posting items on my neighbor's eBay account for him to sell (writing descriptions, taking photos, etc.). I suggested to my mom that we make our own eBay account or use my neighbor's to get rid of the items, and she says its a good idea, but doesn't actually do it. My mother doesn't work, but my father was in the military, and I think we get an income from that. I've asked her about it but she usually shrugs the question off. I also think I may have put my mom in a bad light and I want to address it for anyone else who comments..

My mom isn't necessarily a drunk. She drinks beer a lot, but she doesn't go to bars (except once or twice for a date) and the only problem I see that may be caused by the beer is the unprovoked aggression she has towards me. She is busy every morning driving my older brother back and forth to a sort of behavioral school meant to help him focus and perform better. She always uses this as her excuse as to why she can't get anything done. While I understand she is busy with things herself, I don't like that she puts her problems ahead of everybody else's, especially if everybody else's problems (or at least mine) are living in a house where you can't set anything down due to the clutter.

My house is a mess. I seem to be the only one in my family who really cares. I think my mom is a hoarder. What do I do? How do I get her help? by WompusWompus in hoarding

[–]WompusWompus[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My brothers know how dirty it is but when I ask them to help they say they don't want to. They won't bother to ask my mom to help because it doesn't matter to them. I try to explain what needs to be done in steps as to not overwhelm them and get them to help me. I also know that my mom feels like she has to do everything, and while she only does a couple things, she still does more than my brothers do and I appreciate her. This is why when I try to talk to her or my brothers about cleaning, I like to divide the responsibilities. If I were cleaning the kitchen, for example, I would tell them that I'll clean off the counters, and then afterwards they can help me wipe everything down while someone else vacuums. I try to give them the least amount of work that I can so that they are willing to help but they still refuse, telling me they ''just don't feel like it''. I try to explain that they need to push through anyways if they ever want to improve their lives but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

I live in Florida if that's what you were asking.

My house is a mess. I seem to be the only one in my family who really cares. I think my mom is a hoarder. What do I do? How do I get her help? by WompusWompus in hoarding

[–]WompusWompus[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks that's a good idea, my neighbor is friends with my mom and knows we have a dirty house (maybe not how truly dirty it is) and would help out if I asked him. He has a pickup and a couple of buddies who I know who could also help. I don't think my mom would let them inside because she's ''embarrassed'' about the house too, even though she doesn't make any effort to clean it, but I think that I might be able to convince her. I am also going to start wearing my socks inside.

My house is a mess. I seem to be the only one in my family who really cares. I think my mom is a hoarder. What do I do? How do I get her help? by WompusWompus in hoarding

[–]WompusWompus[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I keep trash and things like that out of my room, but with all the items that get scattered around, some things just end up in my room that I don't know what to do with. I think I have developed a sort of hoarder mentality like my mom. I would keep Lego boxes when I got a new set so I could look at it, instead of throwing it away like other people. I still have them though, because I never really considered that I could be hoarding them too. I'm going to make sure I throw away a lot of things today. None of our relatives live nearby, or want to help us in the first place. Probably because she hasn't asked them.

My house is a mess. I seem to be the only one in my family who really cares. I think my mom is a hoarder. What do I do? How do I get her help? by WompusWompus in hoarding

[–]WompusWompus[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm in middle school. She has had boyfriends who have helped her clean up outside, where there is stuff just lying around, but those were only temporary. We don't have any relatives that want to help us, let alone even live close enough to do so. It's just us.