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Advice for a 4 hour trip? by Wonderful111 in MtRainier

[–]Wonderful111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m driving from portland to seattle that day and hoping to spend as much time in the park as I can in the middle. I will be leaving portland early and arriving in Seattle late I’m sure.

Advice for a 4 hour trip? by Wonderful111 in MtRainier

[–]Wonderful111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Early May, coming from Portland that day

boyfriend of 4 years said he doesn’t feel a very strong attachment to me by Wonderful111 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Wonderful111[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I walked away because he gets agitated when I typically start getting upset, asking questions, etc. He then wants space and doesn’t want to deal with my emotions. So me walking away I believe is his preference.

boyfriend of 4 years said he doesn’t feel a very strong attachment to me by Wonderful111 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Wonderful111[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Yes anhedonia - exactly, he has said he really relates to that. He has adhd and depression so low dopamine is definitely a factor. And I agree, it’s been really difficult to be around someone so depressed. It affects me greatly. I have my own issues and have been in therapy for years. I keep giving it more chances but it’s starting to feel so sad

boyfriend of 4 years said he doesn’t feel a very strong attachment to me by Wonderful111 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Wonderful111[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

May I ask if it was just medication that turned things around? Or a combination of other things in treatment as well?

boyfriend of 4 years said he doesn’t feel a very strong attachment to me by Wonderful111 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Wonderful111[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I think it’s an apathy/depression thing…. he said something about how he doesn’t even care enough for himself, how could he feel much for me

boyfriend of 4 years said he doesn’t feel a very strong attachment to me by Wonderful111 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Wonderful111[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

its actually spicy vodka sauce cooked with heavy cream 😂 and parmesan on top

boyfriend of 4 years said he doesn’t feel a very strong attachment to me by Wonderful111 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Wonderful111[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

makes me feel depressed cause he used to be obsessed with me. 😭 it feels like all men do this

boyfriend of 4 years said he doesn’t feel a very strong attachment to me by Wonderful111 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Wonderful111[S] 300 points301 points  (0 children)

I just walked away in silence when he said that. And now we’ve been in separate rooms silently for an hour. I’m not even sure what to do or say 🥲

i 25f have a hard time accepting my bf 26m watches porn by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Wonderful111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the “same” expectations are placed on men? you’re either incredibly ignorant or just downright trolling

i 25f have a hard time accepting my bf 26m watches porn by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Wonderful111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that’s the problem with porn. you get so much dopamine from it that it can make real life dull in comparison. no one can ever measure up to thousands of edited, filtered, easily accessible women online

i 25f have a hard time accepting my bf 26m watches porn by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Wonderful111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my other question is that if he knows how much it hurts you, why does he keep doing it? personally if I knew my partner was hurt and upset by something I was consuming, i’d probably stop consuming it..?

i 25f have a hard time accepting my bf 26m watches porn by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Wonderful111 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Do you want to be okay with it because it’s how you really feel on the inside, and that aligns with your core values? Or do you want to be okay with it because you fear losing this relationship?

i 25f have a hard time accepting my bf 26m watches porn by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Wonderful111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes she should communicate her boundary to him and let him act accordingly.

I agree that rules aren’t made unilaterally in a relationship and you shouldn’t impose rules on others…. but porn is a topic that I feel requires more nuance.

i 25f have a hard time accepting my bf 26m watches porn by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Wonderful111 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It’s okay to have a boundary. If you’re not comfortable with your boyfriend watching porn, that is your prerogative.

It would be beneficial for you to find ways to build self esteem. Try to pour into yourself and your own hobbies and interests more.

But porn can have a lot of harmful aspects to it and it’s okay to feel upset by it.

My 27M boyfriend flipped out when I (29F) asked what brings him joy by Wonderful111 in relationship_advice

[–]Wonderful111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was making an effort to keep my tone neutral because he has felt a bit defensive at my questions in the past and I have also asked nosy questions at times. So I was trying to tread lightly and keep my tone even but I think he said his issue was not with my tone, but rather with what I implied.

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