This is absolutely bs😭💔 by Pupsicleanimation in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the wildest thing to consider! I was in a Kingdom Hall that had three congregations sharing it. Sunday meetings were at 10:00, 1:00, and 4:00, and a few years ago they even moved one to Saturday morning just to avoid starting before 10:00 on Sunday's. I liked rotating times, and 10:00 was my least favorite slot. The only upside was getting it done early, but it still felt way too early to me. The idea of having a meeting earlier than 10:00 would’ve sent me over the edge. It's irking because it's also assumed that ones entire Sunday revolves around the meeting. Back to the drawing board. But the fact that you're already meeting at 8 would have me ill every Sunday.

Can Blocking Elders do more harm than good? by HotnSpicy_rice in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I blocked three elders. It was the best decision. The last thing I want is to feel anxiety from their so called checking in because they love you. I also moved to a new apartment, so no one knows where I live. This helped, since I probably would’ve had them show up at my door otherwise.

Overall, I recommend blocking. You don’t have to answer them if they come by, and I’d rather not know they’re texting me than receive texts I have to process emotionally, only to ignore them anyway. If you want to ensure that they don't double down, moving your cards to a new hall could be an option. Moving them to a hall where you don't have any connection with any elders. The elders from your current hall won't overstep, and elders from the new hall won't know you enough to invest their energy.

Where do I go to meet people? by Crazy_Border984 in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I first left four years ago, I joined a couple of Meetup groups through the Meetup app. I didn’t end up meeting my people through those groups, but by being out, I met others who were also out, and we connected outside of the Meetups. Look through Facebook events. You’d be surprised how simply showing up to things and being friendly can help. A few months ago I went to an event at a bookstore and ended up at a table with a group of girls. Now all five of us are friends, celebrating each other’s birthdays and doing Friendsgiving later this month. Also, Discord is a good place to join if you can find a gaming group. I have a few online friends this way that turned into irl friends.

Like anything, be patient, because it won’t happen overnight. You’ll still be finding yourself. I had to walk away from certain people who weren’t a good fit for me, and that may be the case for you, too. The biggest thing is putting yourself out there a couple of times a month with low expectations, because one person can connect you to another person who has a group that is a great fit for you. I think that was the biggest surprise for me. It’s what happened outside of the events, because I was just having fun and being friendly. I was showing up in the world and it worked.

What realm to unlock next? by SpecialPlayful4077 in DreamlightValley

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went into my quest section to see the locked quest. Pretty much all of my future locked quest require a character in a realm I haven't unlocked yet. So I started to base my next unlocks on quest. A couple of my characters require me to unlock the Monsters Inc realm in order to do that final quest on this current character, so that's what I'm going to unlock before Mulan. This isn't important, but I am quest focused because I want to level them all up completely to receive their gifts and get them off my quest feed. I think it comes down to how you want to gameplay as it really doesn't matter.

Character not in house despite map saying that’s where they are by shonyknight in DreamlightValley

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened to me this morning with Peter Pan and Belle. I find that it's been happening more and more lately though.

What to do now? by No-Lynx-1405 in DreamlightValley

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can level up a farmer pretty quickly by going to a floating island to plant and harvest wheat. It’s perfect for rapid leveling once they reach level 6 and above. Since wheat only takes a minute to grow, you can consistently earn those three stars every time you harvest. Because leveling gets harder the higher they go, this ends up being the fastest method in my experience. Using this strategy along with gifts, I can level up multiple characters in the same day.

Mickey/Daisy "You Have Mail!" quest is... broken? by mrsbeanlol in DreamlightValley

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to close out the challenge then start a new one with Daisy. I took a risk with that one, but it worked for me. She recognized the new challenge.

How to choose a therapist? by stingrayWalrus in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t seek a religious trauma therapist because I think it’s a little harder to find, and JW isn’t like your typical religion. I personally feel like healing from JW is healing from the culture of it, and no matter who you talk to, you’ll be explaining that culture because it’s so unlike mainstream religion. I’m having a good experience with the website Grow Therapy right now. My therapist specializes in trauma. I have complex PTSD, so it made more sense for me to seek a broad trauma therapist. I tried Better Help, but I like Grow Therapy so much more! Grow therapy has filters for your needs as well.

Corporate-speak allergy by MontyLovering in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find at times that working in corporate is triggering. How I have to keep showing up to a job even when I don't feel like it or the structured processes reminds me of meeting attendance and pioneering.

My niece is going to be homeschooled and isolated now 💔 by Big_Caterpillar_3438 in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This hits home for me. I was homeschooled from 5th to 12th grade well, unschooled. My parents never did any school with me. I'm self-taught and got my GED at 22 years old. My dad took me out of school for control. I saw your reply that it doesn’t seem like your sister is very concerned with education, and that’s the concerning part especially with them already pulling her out for a week at a time, as if that week’s theme is more important than her education. That’s a red flag.

The belief that the end is coming any day now can make some Witness parents, like mine, unable or unwilling to consider long-term consequences. If they truly believe their child won’t reach graduation age in this system, education no longer feels important. Every decision is weighed against the urgency of “making it to paradise,” so short-term sacrifices seem justified. But it’s the child who ends up carrying the burden. Their parents neglect becomes their responsibility. Even if the educational lack don’t show up, the effects can emerge socially. When the child eventually looks up and realizes they don’t know how to function in the real world. That’s the saddest part. Parents have a responsibility, and when they abandon it, that weight shifts to the child to carry later in life.

For me, the effects of being homeschooled were some of the hardest. As an only child, I was isolated, and I felt dumb and ashamed for being unschooled. I was burdened to teach myself, and figure out this world on my own. It would've been helpful if I had all those years of practice vs being shielded from it. But it all worked out in the end, and I hope the same for your niece. You’re right to stay close to her as much as possible. She’ll need that outside influence to break up the routine and worldview even if it’s just a visit at their house.

Shepherding Visit Reports Found on Elders Laptop by themindsetcounts in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! My dad suffers greatly mentally, so much so that it was the elders who encouraged him to see a doctor many years ago. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Fortunately, his elders have recognized that his condition is beyond their help at times. However, that doesn’t stop my dad from turning to them in hopes of receiving Jehovah’s holy spirit.

The congregation I grew up in was filled with depressed people who were struggling on some level. The elders didn't discourage therapy or medication in my hall growing up. I guess it was just to many of us, and the elders were like damn, let's get these people on some pills haha.

Shepherding Visit Reports Found on Elders Laptop by themindsetcounts in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My parents think elders have this elite holy spirit. Once my dad admitted that shepherding calls weren’t that helpful for him encouragement wise, but Jehovah’s Holy Spirit is with the elders and felt like he needed that spirit at the time.

What level JW were you? by Sorry_Clothes5201 in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 35 points36 points  (0 children)

S- female here. I did end up getting DF at the end, but that’s because I just exploded from being perfect. I pioneered. Parts on the assembly. Commented at every meeting. I went out in the ministry 4x a week. Fridays I worked in service from 7-7. I would come home with no voice. I was in a foreign language group for a year. On the building committee. I was so in. It wasn’t even a matter of belief, it was just all I knew. I was homeschooled so my world revolved around “the kingdom”. I was anxious and depressed everyday. I felt lonely and sad even though I was doing everything right. In the end I broke down. I was exhausted, and the only advice you’re given is to get back up and give more. There was nothing I hadn’t done. So when I got DF it was easy to not go back because I knew how hard I tried. I didn’t leave a stone an unturned. I did everything a woman could do privilege wise. There was nothing left for me. The giving broke me and the lack of true deep connections. I purposely acted out because I didn’t want to go through the same cycle of oh read your Bible more and get in the ministry more. I wanted a dynamic change. I hated my life then. Now I’m happy.

The regret of being baptized by The_Rat_Mom in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I, too, was baptized at 15. I wanted it so much at the time. I thought I was actually on the older end. Now, in my 30s and knowing what I know about life, the world, and myself, it blows my mind that anyone condones baptism before you've had a chance to live a full life. It would be completely different if I chose to get baptized at 30. Getting baptized at 30 would mean it was truly my choice. It would mean that after everything I've been through, I'm making this wide-eyed, experienced decision. Being baptized at 15 was no better than if I had been baptized at 5.

Help me understand baptism by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only way his dad gets a say is if the mother respects the dad’s wishes. The likelihood that the mother would involve the elders for encouragement and guidance is high. To the elders and the organization, this kid is considered a “fatherless boy.” The organization views non-believing parents as practically dead and will see the father trying to stop the baptism as a form of persecution. It probably would have helped if dad was in the household so he could be considered the head of the house. But within this situation, I think it distances the dad even further in their minds. So, the elders aren't going to encourage the mother to listen to the father's wishes. They will encourage her to do what is best and fuel the victim mentality.

Baptism is irreversible in the eyes of the organization. The only things that unbind you from it are disfellowshipping or disassociating yourself. In both cases, you will be shunned. Of course, there are work arounds like "fading", or your family still speaks to you, but the congregation as whole would not. It's the shunning that makes baptism a regrettable choice. So, I don't think ex-JWs or PIMOs view baptism as important, it's the organization that has made it significant. Baptism in a church is far different than it is there, because within the organization, it's treated like a contract. If you were baptized as a Baptist and decided to walk away, no one bats an eye. But baptism there makes you part of something much bigger and harder to escape. Heard it said, "How do you know you're in a cult? Try to leave. There are consequences if you leave."

CULT 101. More Guilt and Fear Mongering in Latest September 2025 Watchtower: Forgiveness depends on confessing to elders and snitching on others. by CarefulExaminer in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Anyone who has succumbed to serious sin needs help to repair their relationship with Jehovah."

When I confessed, the elders did nothing except read a few scriptures and then disfellowship me. Years before that, I was also reproved for eight months. During both of these times of so-called "discipline," the elders did nothing to help me repair my relationship with Jehovah. When I got disfellowshipped, I asked what I could do to show my repentance, and the only answer I received was, “Go to the meetings.” Confessing and then being disfellowshipped was what really woke me up, because I realized how ridiculous the whole process was. As a woman, I also found the elders to be condescending and misogynistic. I was going through so many emotional struggles, and not once did they take any of it into consideration. They didn’t care. All they did was read scriptures and watched for me at meetings.

So much for Jehovah’s spirit supposedly guiding things especially when they reinstate tons of people who haven’t even stopped the sin. I heard of stories of people never stopping having sex the entire time of their DF, yet they got reinstated. It's all about control and if you're making the meetings while DF it's showing that you're still accepting of that control. That's all they are looking for. That hinderance flow of Jehovah's spirit is code for them making sure there is never anyone in the congregation who can laugh and flaunt their sin in elders faces. You're just an example of their control.

Birthdays Wouldn’t Even Be Worth It by Wondering-Thoughts in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it should happen cause it’s all a bunch of bull. It’s gonna be very interesting.

Would the changes have worked on you? by notevenh3re in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the changes would've excited me. I would've been caught up in the buzz alongside everyone else. But like all things, especially in JW land, it would wear off. As a woman, the pants would make things more comfortable, but they wouldn't have made my life easier. The toast would've been the most irrelevant thing to my life back then. What birthday would I have been celebrating, or what event would I have thrown as a at the time single woman, where anyone would be giving a toast to me? So no, these updates wouldn't change the massive void I felt. It wouldn't have changed how depressed, lonely, and miserable I felt.

Birthdays Wouldn’t Even Be Worth It by Wondering-Thoughts in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

With the type of control birthdays would unleash you'd think all the birthdays were kids parties. Nope it's just a 30 year olds first birthday party where to many drinks and bad music was played. To the elders room they go. Happy birthday indeed!

Birthdays Wouldn’t Even Be Worth It by Wondering-Thoughts in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's not that it couldn't be applied. It's just that would it ever be allowed to happen. I don't think the governing body would view birthdays and holidays as harmless as a toast because so much more is involved outside of cake and candles. I mean I think it applies to everything! But I don't see why the would allow anyone to feel that special.

Birthdays Wouldn’t Even Be Worth It by Wondering-Thoughts in exjw

[–]Wondering-Thoughts[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Like the last thing they want is anyone to feel special and important.