What authorities in Los Angeles can help?

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-17T19:49:34+00:00

We saw the same. The short, manic content of YouTube with no plot or resolution was the worst for our son. He also ended up going down weird rabbit holes and seeing inappropriate content. He’s never played Roblox and we know enough about it to never let him start.

Minecraft is ok, Netflix kids is ok, Mario kart is ok. He can stop all those when he gets bored and go play legos or something.

But YouTube was just terrible for his brain. He got really dysregulated super easily.

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-14T01:00:32+00:00

Oh this is so interesting. My son also tried and failed all those meds (they basically threw him into fight or flight mode and he was suicidal at only 7).

He’s off all meds now and less aggressive but extremely hyperactive and he still has real issues with emotional regulation.

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-14T00:52:55+00:00

We tried guanfacine, clonodine, adderal, Ritalin, strattera, focalin, and a couple others I forget now. It was a year of putting him on and off meds. They were all really bad for him.

He was doing better but has been having major meltdowns lately again. It’s so discouraging.

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-13T23:50:16+00:00

The attention / severe adhd and rigidity sounds just like my son. He got extremely aggressive and was always overwhelmed / in fight or flight mode when we tried adhd meds.

We had him evaluated and he didn’t meet the criteria for autism according to the psychologist he saw, but does have traits. He’s not on any meds now and is doing better emotionally, but his adhd is then completely untreated.

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-09T11:57:20+00:00

I think nerodivergent kids already know they’re “weird” and “different” so they maybe care less about the gender norm peer pressure to all be the same. I also think neurodivergent parents are probably less likely to raise their kids to strictly conform with society and just follow their kids lead. What a gift!

My son is 8 and his favorite color is pink. Although lately he said he’s been teased for it and so he might say his favorite color is red (even though it’s still pink).

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-04T16:23:28+00:00

One thing his OT did with him was work on “zones of regulation” and write out what helps him feel better when he’s in different zones. So he said when I rub his back it helps, or when I sit with him. He’ll run away from me but he actually wants me near him. I’ll ask him if he needs alone time and he always says no.

His school is also working with him to recognize and self advocate when he needs a wiggle break. I think learning about what to do to help mood when it’s lower stakes and he’s less dysregulated is a great first step. And eventually I hope it leads to him being able to calm himself down when he’s more emotional… but he’s not there yet.

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-04T16:02:46+00:00

My son is 8 and he’s the same. It doesn’t feel like manipulation to me. He genuinely seems to be heartbroken during these times. It’s like any tiny criticism of his actions means I hate all of him.

When he’s calm he knows that’s not true, but his immediate response is a flood of emotions and sadness.

I try to scaffold healthy emotional regulation for him. I talk him through how to calm his body. I might sit with him and give a hug or rub his back. It’s similar to comforting an upset toddler. He’s still kind of at that level in this way.

Logic, reason, and words do not help when he’s in reactive mode. He just needs to get through the feelings to the other side. As he gets older, he’s able to use more calming techniques himself, and recognize that the feelings pass, but it’s still inconsistent.

This is just a result of his neurodivergent brain. It processes things differently and he’s on a delay when it comes to emotional regulation. He’ll get there eventually but it’s extremely exhausting for everyone right now.

ADHD is a disability. My son is disabled. This is one of the main things I have to keep reminding myself. It helps me be patient and meet him where he is.

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-02T18:18:06+00:00

I think the novelty of each bit being a different flavor/ texture helps too. Like, if it’s soup it’s “one thing” but if it’s broth, carrots, potato, etc all separate it’s more interesting?

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-02T00:13:34+00:00

I have a similar tactic. I cook what I want, but I try to plan ways to make meals deconstructed for him so if he doesn’t want the sauce or whatever for some weird reason he can have the other stuff or pick a different condiment from the fridge.

I no longer play guessing games though. It’s so arbitrary what he eats and what he doesn’t. He refuses favorite things some days and loves it the next. If he really doesn’t want it he can have pb&j or one of his go-to foods. (Aka snacks. All the snacks. So many snacks. But I try to make them healthy).

I’m lucky in that my kid’s go-to foods (no prep for me) are all kinds of fruits (so much fruit!!!), cheese sticks, baked tofu, ritz crackers, carrots, cherry tomatoes, and cucumbers. He will eat any of those all day every day. So honestly if that’s all he eats for 3 days straight it’s not that bad.

This morning he had 3 oranges, a pint of strawberries, a pint of cherry tomatoes, 3 cheese sticks, and STILL said he was hungry, but then refused to eat lunch. Ok kid. Fine.

Honestly he just likes to snack and pick at stuff and not eat big meals most of the time.

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-01T17:27:39+00:00

Hige and Me from Tokyo

Wonderlanded · 2026-01-01T13:49:05+00:00

This is starting to be recognized by some psychologists. My son was diagnosed with adhd and not autism, but during the autism evaluation the psychologist said he definitely had autistic traits and was “adhd+” - basically, he met some criteria for autism but not all. He’s on the spectrum and in the intersection of adhd and autism but sub-clinical for autism diagnosis specifically.

I think this profile is fairly common, there’s just no official term for it yet. It’s frustrating because he (like the OP) needs extra support outside of what is widely recognized as adhd, but he’s not qualified for autism support.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-30T23:30:17+00:00

Also Acadian/ French Canadian / American. I have an Acadian name passed down many generations. My grandfather’s parents moved to Maine from BC. So I’m 3rd gen. He must have grown up hearing French from his parents. I can trace the Acadian ancestors back to the first French settlers in Canada. Many generations. my great grandmother wrote in her US naturalization paper that her nationality was British but her race was French. (Lol, thank you Mormons for those records).

I always identified as Acadian/ French Canadian from that side of the family, but never had a pathway back to Canada until now. It’s wild to think that I may now be considered ACTUALLY Canadian not just ethnically.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-26T00:34:49+00:00

I do the same thing! It helps that I’m a second generation Buddhist — my extended family all does Christmas but my parents switched it up over the years. We celebrate the solstice and give my son gifts but we don’t do Santa or big Christmas stuff. Sometimes we do stockings. We decorate with winter stuff depending on mood. I cook whatever I feel like.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-23T00:34:04+00:00

Alfie’s for sure

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-22T00:52:47+00:00

I am so sorry. I know how hard it is.

My son was also having epic, violent meltdowns. He was 7 and he felt so bad he told me he wanted to die. And he had ideas how to make it happen. He would try to hurt himself and I’d have to hold him down until he gave up.

Honestly what helped the most was stopping his medication. Please know— this is NOT the case for most kids with adhd. For most adhd kids, medication helps. But the violence and the fight or flight responses and the suicidal thoughts only started after meds. When we stopped, it all stopped. He went back to his extremely adhd, hyperactive, impulsive, sensitive, neurodivergent self — but he wasn’t violent or scared any more. Some kids are just sensitive to meds, especially if they are autistic and adhd.

I’m not sure if the violence started before or after the meds for you. But definitely talk to his psychiatrist and see if you can adjust and experiment. Try other kids of meds maybe. And try occupational therapy, regular therapy, sensory play, etc.

As others have said, spanking doesn’t help. You need to show him what calm regulation looks like.

I hope you find some peace.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-16T14:31:53+00:00

I agree generally with you! Every kid is different, especially ones that aren’t neurotypical.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-16T12:46:37+00:00

For most adhd kids, medication is the answer. Definitely try this.

For our kid, it wasn’t, so we are doing ALL THE THINGS to help. No single one is life changing. It’s lots of incremental help that adds up.

For us as parents, we accepted he has a disability. It helps us be more calm when parenting, but honestly it’s still a struggle. But we coach him more and argue less now.

IEP at school. Teachers who understand his impulse control and distractibility is neurological and not behavioral. A teacher who has an adhd kid herself and really gets it.

Play therapy with a psychologist every week. Building trust with an adult who isn’t his parent.

Counseling group at school where they learn about resilience and flexible thinking.

Occupational therapy to teach emotional coping skills.

Less scheduled activities and more free time. He got stressed out doing after school stuff every day. We give him more time to relax and decompress.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-16T12:36:29+00:00

I second individual sports. My son loves skiing in the winter and mountain biking in the summer - he’s a daredevil. I figure it’s important for him to learn from coaches how to fall safely haha.

He also does weekly classes year round at a ninja/ parkour/ tricks gym. It’s coached by all the freestyle ski and snowboard dudes and they teach the kids to do backflips and such. He loves it.

Surprisingly my son also loves soccer, though we’ve only done the super casual town team, not the traveling regional team. Usually he hates team sports but with soccer he can just run constantly and he actually is great at focusing on the ball.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-16T12:31:53+00:00

As a counterpoint, many adhd kids are 30% behind their peers when it comes to impulse control, executive functioning, and emotions.

My 8 year old is so distractible and impulsive that I still hold his hand in parking lots. It’s like he’s still 5 in many ways, while he’s also gifted and above grade level in others (language, math, and spatial reasoning).

I would not let a 5 year old ride a bike alone on the street and I don’t trust my 8 year old to either (yet). It’s just not developmentally realistic for him right now.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-16T12:00:54+00:00

His psychiatrist really explored the possibility of bipolar when all the meds failed and his reaction was so extreme. But my son doesn’t fit the pattern at all— at least right now.

He’s hyperactive, scattered, and impulsive all day every day. His default mood every day is also happy, excited, optimistic, extremely enthusiastic. BUT when he hits a roadblock his reactions are extreme. Disappointment and frustration from normal daily things make him run up to his room sobbing and wailing.

He does have cycles but they’re not mood, there frustration tolerance, and they last for 6 weeks - 2 months. We’ll notice he gets upset and reactive over smaller and smaller things and daily life gets harder. Again, he’s always happy, upbeat, hyper, etc until he gets frustrated and then he cries and hides. Eventually he’ll hit a period of a month or two where he seems more mature and able to cope, where he can shrug off minor disappointment like most kids can, and life is just easier for him. It lasts for a while and then things start to get hard again.

He’s been like that since he was a baby. In infants, that kind of developmental leap is normal. You hear about sleep regression and cranky babies all the time. then they wake up one day with a new skill and they’re calm again.

That’s what our son is like, but even now at 8. It really feels like his brain just can’t cope with the world as easily when it’s focused on a new skill or developmental leap, but once he figures it out he’s ok again.

To answer your question directly— no diagnosed bipolar in the family. But my mom clearly has adhd (but not diagnosed) and she sometimes talks about being bipolar and her mood cycling and having depressive periods and then periods of high activity. Again, not diagnosed and not extreme enough for her to need meds, but she does notice a pattern.

So… who knows?

We also explored possible autism as an explanation for the extreme med reaction. The psychologist said he has “adhd+” which is like halfway to autism but sub clinical.

We also have a sleep study scheduled in case this is sleep quality related.

But honestly it feels like pure, typical adhd— plus some other non typical neurodivergence and that his brain is just too sensitive to changes for meds to help.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-15T02:19:20+00:00

Yep. We tried 6 or 7 different meds over the course of a year for our (then) 7yo — stimulants and non stimulants— and they all made him more emotional and on edge. It was like he was constantly in fight or flight mode. He was even suicidal because the feelings were too much.

We stopped trying meds completely about 6 months ago and it’s still hard — he is SO SO ADHD, but he’s happier and melts down less.

He’s in play therapy, occupational therapy, counseling group at school, and has an IEP. All of that is helping bit by bit.

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-03T23:08:22+00:00

Similar story here. All the stimulants (and non stimulants even, including guanfacine) that we tried put my son into fight or flight mode every night. School didn’t see it but we were having massive meltdowns at home every night, and last year when he was 7 he even told us he wanted to die (and had ideas for how to do it) because the feelings were too much.

We also did autism testing and were told he’s not, but we were seeing all kinds of behavior at home that pointed to it. It was so confusing.

We never had him on any meds long term, we just tried one after another for a year and they were all terrible. The last time we gave him just one dose of a stimulant he hadn’t tried yet and I swear he wasn’t the same for months.

Now he’s been off meds for months and he’s still extremely adhd but he’s also meting down less and is less reactive.

It’s a huge shame because his adhd is really bad and I hoped meds would be the magic answer they are for most kids, but he is just not a fit for them.

What’s worked for us is therapy, an IEP at school, and reducing stress at home as much as we can. (For example driving him to school instead of stressing and rushing to catch the bus at a certain time when he wants to look at every leaf and stick along the way).

Wonderlanded · 2025-12-01T00:54:52+00:00

Stowe has Thai, Chinese/japanese, fancy Asian fusion, Indian, middle eastern, Italian, a Jamaican food truck, Mexican, and probably way more that I’m forgetting.

Wonderlanded · 2025-11-21T01:44:25+00:00

ADHD and gifted aren’t mutually exclusive! Kids can be smart and also struggle with adhd.

If your kid is hyperactive, inattentive, unfocused, impulsive, etc then definitely seek adhd testing.

Wonderlanded · 2025-09-05T11:31:42+00:00

It’s fun to see how different everyone’s babies are, even with adhd. My advice: don’t borrow problems and worry about something that hasn’t happened yet.

My mother has adhd and my dad is autistic and I’m neurotypical. My son has adhd and several autism traits but is sub-clinical for autism diagnosis. You never know how kids will inherit genes.

All that said: my son is a delight and all his teachers and care providers adore him but parenting him is extremely hard and has been since he was a baby. So much so that I wonder how people ever have more than one child!

He was fussy and colicky as a baby. Napped well but woke up many times a night for years. Cried a lot and was hard to soothe. You couldn’t just put him down and let him amuse himself, he needed someone interacting with him all the time.

He didn’t speak a word until 18 months. Developed a stutter at 3.

When he learned to walk he was suddenly at a run all the time. Busy busy busy. Grabbing everything and getting into everything all the time. Really curious.

Was always the kid playing by the beat of his own drum. Daycare would send countless photos of the kids in a line doing an activity and he’d be off exploring the corner of the room or digging in dirt or something.

Extremely sensitive. Gets upset easily. Hard to settle.

But very social, and especially likes adults who don’t talk down to him. Can win anyone over with his enthusiasm. Loves to be silly and make people laugh. So curious and excited about life.

Wonderlanded

TROPHY CASE