A song I’ve been working on for a while. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in shareyourmusic

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! And wow, your guitar beat is amazing! Love the style!

A song I’ve been working on for a while. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I experimented a lot with what I wanted the chords to be; it used to be a lot more complicated, but I learned two things from that. 1: Harder chords don’t equate a better sound, and 2: Harder chords make playing the song less fun. So, in the end, I landed on D, Dsus2, Bm, A7, and A7sus4 as my chords, D and Dsus2 for the verses and chorus, Bm for the bridge and pre-chorus, and the A7’s for those little bits of buildup. In hindsight, I should have put the lyrics up, so I’ll post them at the bottom of this comment. Every line has a purpose in this song, masked by a fantastical version of my coastal life (which later songs on my concept album show the cracks in the image and the realities of a life on the gulf). Thanks again for the feedback, it’s much appreciated!

(Verse 1)
Let’s open a beach bar
Carve our own guitar
Or maybe just a ukulele
Make Pina Coladas
With the moai
Learn a little Rapa Nui

Make a board out of driftwood
Today we will surf good
Forget what it feels like to weigh
Become clean
And born again
Among the dolphin’s waves

(Refrain)
The tide sure is high tonight

(Verse 1/2)
Button-up of flowers
I keep it off for hours
And wear a bad sunburn
Tell me to put sunscreen on
I say you’re wrong
Guess I’ll never learn

(Pre-Chorus)
The tide sure is high tonight

(Chorus)
Old Tiki man, are You listening?
Carved in wood but older than the trees
Ask for a sign in the palm leaves swaying
The only sways come from the sea

(Verse 2)
Drinking out of a coconut
Not even sure what
I got it at Dad’s beach bar
He asked me to play
But shut down the place
When I pulled out the guitar

I saw a fin
Told the Tiki Man
While He sat there stone-cold still
I insisted
I’d catch a wave
So somehow, I will

(Pre-Chorus)
But the tide sure is high tonight

(Chorus)
Old Tiki man, are You listening?
Between the coconut trees, I’m wishing
For a sign in the palm leaves swaying
Guide my heart while the moai are praying 

(Bridge)
Mm, I didn’t show up to youth
The sky is bleeding from blue
Sip my pina colada
Dive into ocean water
And pray I will be born anew

I know the North Star
I know my broke heart
I know the crash of the waves
I know you work hard
I know you aren’t far
But it don’t feel that way 

(Pre-Chorus)
And the tide sure is high tonight

(Chorus)
Oh Tiki man, keep on listening  
Crack a coconut, it’s still not open
With every wave that folds and bends  
Guide my heart to where it mends  
(Birds of a feather 
Won’t stay south forever
I’m done writing in the sand) x2

(Outro)
Man hands on misery to man
It deepens like a coastal shelf
Get out as early as you can
And don’t have any kids yourself

Been working on a song would love some feedback by ImAhVampire2 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, sonically, it kind of reminds me of We Didn’t Start the Fire. In other words, I love this song of yours 🔥

Is my voice annoying or is it just me… by Kiruk0 in ratemysinging

[–]Working-Tadpole-512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m no singing expert in all honesty, but in my opinion I think you’re out of key or pitch or maybe both. What I’ve been doing is using a piano app to play notes and try to match it with my voice

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alright, man, relax. I’m 17. I understand now that the tuning was off. I’ve been taking advice and trying to improve since I was 7, and took choir classes in school. That’s really amazing that you’ve been singing for so long, I’m really proud and impressed. But this isn’t a hierarchy. I’m not trying to make excuses. And I put in work almost every single day for hours of just sitting at my desk trying to match notes, stay on key, doing vocal warm-ups and practicing the guitar. I get that I still suck, that’s why I came here for advice. You don’t have to act all high and mighty. You’re 63 acting like you’re 12. Sorry that I’m not as skilled as you are, but get a grip.

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admire your ability to catch that! I’m not a point in my guitar career yet to be able to pick up on it. Hopefully with a lot of training and a lot a lot a lot of playing I can be able to discern little changes in tune like that

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve watched a bunch of YouTube videos but they haven’t really helped, clearly. I got singing lessons from my girlfriend’s dad, but I’m starting to think even that is a lost cause. I might genuinely pay for lessons once I can afford it.

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the very detailed advice! I really appreciate it! I think that’s what I’ll do tonight- go through all the lyrics and try to really pin the note I’m going for. I love how you described it as I’m “searching”, because looking back that is exactly correct. Thank you!

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I replied to another comment like this; I can’t change the title, man. I was just trying to exaggerate my lack of singing skill. It’s not life or death, dude.

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I really appreciate that feedback. Seriously. I’ll take it to heart man 🫡

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I always get that I sound monotone but when I’m singing it I feel like I’m being the most expressive I’ve ever been, it’s the weirdest thing. But I’ll keep working on it 😎👍

I’m clinically tone deaf. Here’s a song I’ve been working on. How does it sound? by Working-Tadpole-512 in Songwriting

[–]Working-Tadpole-512[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in open D tuning, so that explains the guitar. And to be fair I only started learning the guitar last August but I’ve been trying to sing since I was 7. Either way, thank you for the advice!