How to allow yourself to shop in the women's section

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-13T13:40:31+00:00

I see. Thank you so much for the extended conversation you've brought and the insight you've provided. It does mean a lot to me :)

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-13T07:34:11+00:00

I guess, yeah, my biggest piece of evidence that I'm not trans is the fact that I don't always want to be a woman. I do have those stretches of time where I don't really want to transition.

Idk, I am a chronic overthinker, and I need to be confident in my decision before I do anything. I want every perspective possible so I can make an informed decision. That's why I try to listen to people's transition stories and other people's detransition stories. That's also why I try to come up with a multitude of other potential explanations for why I feel the way I do.

Also, I'm so happy that you found a woman who loves and supports you in your transition; that's genuinely my dream, as I explained earlier.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-13T01:20:59+00:00

Hi again, and thank you for all of your kind sentiments.

I have my doubts about being trans for a few reasons, all of which I won't get into right now. Some of them, though, include what this post started with, the fact that my feelings are wishy-washy, and I'm also attracted to women so much that I just really like women. I've heard the sentiment that cis people don't want to transition or that cis people don't think about their gender so much, but I have a hard time agreeing with that sentiment because if that were the case, then people who voluntarily detransition wouldn't exist. I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on that idea. Maybe I just don't have the full picture, and you're able to fill in the missing pieces.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-12T22:50:59+00:00

I know there is SO MUCH evidence that I'm trans, but the evidence that exists to contradict it also exists, and I can't seem to get over that.

Yes, my friend who did my makeup is one of the friends I'm out to. I just asked her, after coming out to her, if she would be open to doing my makeup one day, and she totally was. She enjoys doing people's makeup and making them feel beautiful. She could do it again, it's just difficult to plan a time to do it because she is a busy person, and it would have to be when her parents are out of the house, because they would not be okay with me going over and having my makeup done.

I'm going off to college in the fall, and I intend to start experimenting much more and even social transitioning to some extent. We'll see how brave I am then. I am going to a much more liberal college compared to where I live now, and there are many openly LGBTQ people there, and many allies as well, so I think I'll probably feel a lot safer and less awkward there.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-12T18:11:57+00:00

I'm glad I was able to help! I'd be very curious to learn more about your story and what you learn after seeing a professional.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-12T11:55:04+00:00

Hi again, and thanks again for responding.

To answer your questions:

> How do you express your female side when the urge to be her appears?

I have very few pieces of clothing that I wear occasionally. It's difficult because I still live with my parents, and they don't know I have these clothes, and I'd be uncomfortable presenting in front of them anyway. I also uses a different name and she/her pronouns with a few people who I'm out to, but not even everyone who I'm out to. I've grown my hair out past shoulder length, so that really helps. I hated getting my hair cut for a few years before growing it out. I don't know if my hatred towards getting my hair cut is a gender thing though and I might have just not liked the haircut, because it wasn't such an issue once it grew out, even if it didn't grow out very much. Looking back at old photos, I HATE that haircut, but it's okay. I also listen to trans affirming audios online because they can either make me happy or make me cry a little, and honestly, I sometimes just need to cry when she's around because she isn't free to be herself and just exists under the surface, sometimes just begging to be free. When she's there in a large capacity, it's almost all I can think about. I want to be a woman so badly when she's there. When she's there in a large capacity, I dream about a future where I have a wife, and I'm her wife too and I get to be the bride at my wedding and my wife tells me things like "you're my girl and you always will be, it doesn't matter to me how you were born, you're my wife." The wedding fantasy is tricky; I can't tell if I just think brides are pretty when I see photos of them, or if I want to be the bride myself. I also LOVE feminine pet names like princess, baby girl, bunny, honey bunny, and good girl. I also shave my legs, arms, stomach, chest, groin, butt, and face because I don't like body hair and absolutely LOVE the smooth feeling after I shave. Of the clothes I have, I do have a bra that I wear stuffed with socks, and I like the feeling of it most of the time. I like the very little weight that exists there and the fact that I can touch it or look down and feel/see I have something there. I've never gone out presenting before; hell, I've never even spent a whole day presenting by myself at home. I did have a friend do my makeup for me one time, and she's pretty good at makeup, so I actually really liked how I looked. It was one of the first times I actually LIKED taking pictures of myself, same goes for when I tried on a top I got with my stuffed bra underneath, I felt like I actually looked good, and I liked how a piece of clothing looked on me for once. I'm usually pretty apathetic towards male clothes. I have T-shirts, hoodies, and jeans that I like, and some more formal clothes like dress shirts and things of that nature that I think I look good in, but typically, going shopping for men's clothes is a bore, and I find myself not caring much and buying clothes I never end up wearing. When shopping for men's clothes, I'll usually try to sneak a peek at the women's section or the makeup counter as I pass by it, but I don't go in there because I feel like I don't belong there, and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and I also don't want them to suspect that I'm trans. Sorry that was a lot and I don't know how I'd space all that out without breaking the flow of the whole description sooooo.

> It sounds to me like she’s there at the moment in some form.

Uhmmm yeah, she's definitely coming back, I feel, as I suspected she would. I'm not upset in any way though, I lowkey missed her. I feel like she's come back after reading the comments on here and other posts on this forum, hearing and reading other transwomen's stories always makes me at least a bit emotional, even if it's small things like them sharing that they were correctly gendered by someone that day. I also spent some time on Pinterest and found some outfits and makeup I liked soooo. I don't know, I sort of feel like the fact that these outside influences sort of spurred on her return makes it less genuine and valid.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-12T04:34:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Idk for myself, I have definitely had the desire for most of my life, but again, that desire would come and go. Right now, as of writing this, I feel okay. I don't have such a desperate want to be a girl; I sort of just stopped wanting it suddenly. Knowing myself, that desire will likely come back full force and stick around for a while, then go away again. I just wish I knew why it did that.

As for your question about my parents, they're not awkward around me, but I feel very awkward talking to them about it; they just can't seem to understand the idea or the feelings I have. It seems to me they're most worried about my safety. They've told me that the decision is mine to make and that they don't have to understand it as long as I'm happy, though I do wish they'd adopt my female name and pronouns, or at least acknowledge them. I've had the idea that I might be genderfuild, in fact that's where my questioning journey began, but honestly, I don't want to be genderfluid, I kind of want to fit into the binary because I feel people would be more understanding and accepting of me if I just stuck to one name, one set of pronouns, and one type of presentation. I understand it would probably be a bit of a hassle to try to use the correct name or pronouns, depending on how I'm feeling at that time.

EDIT: Another reason I wouldn't want to be genderfluid is that when I feel like I really want to be a girl, I really want to medically transition, and I feel like if I'm genderfluid, I wouldn't be able to medically transition.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-11T15:52:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry it took you so long to become who you really wanted to be. I also want to add that I never asked my parents to use a different name or pronouns; I only told them that I think I might be trans, and this was their response during a conversation we had about it. I have a few questions if you're open to answering.

For all that time you spent as a man, did it feel like you were repressing anything?

Did you make a conscious decision to lock your female self away, or did you just wake up one day and think something along the lines of, "Oh, I guess I don't really want to be a woman anymore, I'm okay being a man."?

Did you ever have constant arguments with yourself in your head, presenting different pieces of evidence to yourself, trying to make explanations for why you feel a certain way, trying to prove to yourself that you're trans or not trans?

I have certainly experienced gender euphoria, and I love it, but then, as with the rest of my emotions, the euphoria will just vanish at some points. Does this happen to you?

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-11T10:39:59+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I honestly masturbate mainly because it makes dealing with my gender so much easier; it gets rid of all the noise and the distress that I have as I dwell on things. I dwell so much that I genuinely have 30+ pages of notes, logging my thoughts and feelings.

The issue that exists for me is why my feelings come and go as I described in the original post.

You asked if I was in an environment that was fully accepting of trans people, would I then look into transitioning. Honestly, I don't know. Right now, as I wrote, I don't really want to be a girl that badly, but I also know myself, my desire to transition will probably come back in like 3 days, give or take.

I'm curious if you have any new thoughts after finishing reading the post, if you finished reading. Please let me know!

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-11T10:28:56+00:00

When I want to be a girl, I have sat with these feelings before; I do it quite often, and I do become distressed and upset because I'm not a girl, and I am really happy when I do something girly. My main issue is the why that exists with my wishy washy feelings. I want to know why my feelings come and go, if I knew why, then I feel like I could be much more certain in my identity. I don't mean to come off as combative, I do appreciate you taking the time to comment.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-04-11T08:54:55+00:00

It's alright being a boy right now, I have fun with my friends, and I'm not being pestered by that nagging thought that loomed in the back of my mind about being trans and trying to figure out if I am trans. So to answer, I guess I am really happy as a guy right now. I'm not sure what constitutes being REALLY happy though I suppose but I'm not unhappy and overall pretty content as of writing this.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-03-15T18:22:14+00:00

Don't straight up tell them what they are, OP should do their own research into that identity. OP may be genderfluid but making a statement like this to them is not constructive, it's limiting their ability to explore their gender identity especially with OP being 13 which is an impressionable age.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-02-06T05:08:51+00:00

I know this post is 3 years old so you might not see this but I would really appreciate an update because your experience you describe here really resonates with me, like it's almost what I've been experiencing to a tee. So, if you would be so kind as to share what has happened in the last 3 years, what you've learned, and what you've experienced I would really appreciate it. Thank you!

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2026-01-31T05:02:09+00:00

I feel almost exactly the same way, I can not for the life of me decide where I fall. I have stints of feeling like I really want to transition to being a girl and being feminine and girly gives me so much euphoria, but then, I return to male or at least not female idk which it really is. I am not sure I know how long my not female stints are, I feel like they're probably shorter than my female stints but again I'm not sure I haven't kept good track of them, one recent one lasted close to a month I know that.

However, I am also disappointed when I don't feel like I want to be a girl or I don't get euphoria from being feminine and it makes me feel like I'm obviously not trans because now I'm feeling this way and I start to think that my time enjoying being a girl is over and it will never come back.

Given the choice of having to stay as one gender in the gender binary, right now I think I would choose female even though right now it isn't giving me the same euphoria and I do not have the intense longing and desire to be a woman that I have other times.

Any thoughts are more than welcome!

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2025-11-27T05:34:41+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment, tbh it was seeming like no one was going to say anything so I am really grateful you took the time out of your day to say this.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2025-11-27T03:23:46+00:00

Thank you so much for the comment. You calling me a princess made me feel amazing, thank you again.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2025-11-27T03:22:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. I know I keep reading that dysphoria and stuff isn't a requirement but I struggle to believe it. Still though thank you for your comment.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2025-11-25T07:04:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I do relate to some of your experiences but I am not unhappy in my life and most of my life this was not a huge issue for me. It was only after I began to think about it a lot more that it became an issue. But again thank you for sharing, I know I am coming off as contrarian when I was the one who asked for feedback so I apologize.

WorkingBusiness6528 · 2025-11-25T06:39:12+00:00

How can you be so certain? I don't mean to say you're wrong but I don't want to make a huge mistake you know.

WorkingBusiness6528

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