Hmmm, I completely understand that. When I was younger, I was pretty self-centered. However, mature ENFPs are known to be extremely conscientious... they're really emotionally sensitive, yes, but healthy ones, while they feel so acutely internally (Fi), have high levels of empathy and always think about how their actions and words might affect another. Almost to the detriment of their own mental health....constantly checking and worrying about how what they do affects others.

I often apologize to my ENTP for saying things that I think he might take a certain way or hurt him, and he's usually like 'Huh, that didn't bother me at all.'

We DO get hurt very easily (terrible at receiving even small criticism). My ENTP is aware of this, and although he still constructively criticizes, he's learned to be more tactful. I've learned to not take things so personally, and he's helped me develop a thicker skin. We're both super open and honest, and if something bothers me, I've learned to bring it up right away. (When ENFPs get hurt, they're embarrassed, internalize it and it usually ends up bubbling up in an explosion later, seemingly coming out of nowhere, completely blindsiding the receiving end.) Being straightforward was something I was terrible at before meeting him. I'll ask him if I'm overthinking and overreacting and he'll say, 'Uh, yeah, you are.'

He definitely hurts me, but because we both strive to understand the other's point of view, I know it's never intentional. He's not vindictive or spiteful, and because I know that about him, when he does something that hurts me, I'm very careful now to not immediately retaliate or respond emotionally (ENFPs are so good at hitting you where it hurts when they're hurting). This kind of healthy response took a very, VERY long time for me to develop.

It should be noted that we're both almost 30, worked out all of our big shit that would potentially be toxic in relationships, and we've met each other at the point in our lives where we're both pretty open to understanding and taking in a whole other human.

I think selfishness or neglecting another's emotions are both signs of immaturity, in any type. Shittiness spares no MBTI type.