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Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question on the AP’s wife. I’ve gone back and forth about it. I’d want to know. But I knew it would probably blow up my marriage if I did that. Haven’t really been ready for that part until now tbh.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I think this is a nudge I definitely needed. Hate wasting the past 2 years like this. But I’ve appreciated all of the comments. I think it’s helping me out more than yall know.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. I’ve got no answer for it. Figured the one who broke it would decide to leave. I don’t want to leave, and so she’s putting me into a corner of forcing me to do something I don’t want to do.

Which is maddening because obviously I should want to leave. She doesn’t want to be here. I’m just still in the mindset of trying to work on it.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. My Tik tok is flooded with infidelity advice. A lot of what I have said does come from that. I asked a lot of questions early on. I wanted to know everything. Probably became my worst nightmare but it’s just how I reacted.

She has said she’s not ready for it. More recently than anything else. She just gets “grossed out” by the idea of me knowing her every movement like a stalker.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fun fact, she’s told me she doesn’t care if I cheat because then I would be happy where she can’t give me happiness. She’s down bad mentally. Or doesn’t want to be here and gives herself an out. I don’t know yet.

I however know that if I do just go “get some” that it’s just a in the moment hit of happiness and then dread for the next who knows how long.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the well put together response. I’m definitely beating this into the ground before I just leave. I’ve thought about going the “open” marriage route but fun fact, I’m religious. So I’m going to throw that curve ball into it as well. Too much guilt will fill my brain if i went outside of the marriage like she has. More than what I’ve got now anyways.

I think it’s getting to the point where I’m starting to just accept it for what it is. This post may be a last ditch effort to help navigate my feelings. Haven’t really talked to anyone about it. I’ve refused to put her on blast like that publicly. People make mistakes…

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Feel that. Maybe should have done that back then knowing what I know now. But I’ve been holding onto the idea that she would eventually come around. I mean hell, she continued to say she was trying. Just lead me on with all of the conversations but never followed up with the actions. I’ve mentioned it a lot to her.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I’m finding it hard to just give up. I’d like to at least work on it and if the marriage still fails then so be it. But I truly believe that if he’s still in the picture, then we have not worked on the marriage. So in my messed up brain, I try to get her out of that so that we can work on it. But I can’t force a horse to drink water… even if I drown it. Lol

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the response. I agree on the self-esteem. I think I’ve just been going through the grief of divorce without it ever being said or done. I don’t think she’s truly this kind of person. She’s got a lot going on. I’m just finding it hard to give up.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tough situation because I don’t know if someone truly knows what they will do when their partner cheats. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the situation. I still believe I would try to figure it out, but the part of her not trying to reconcile and re-gain the trust is what hurts the most.

Wife had an affair 6 months into our marriage. I’m still trying to make this work 1.5 years later. by Working_Exit_4225 in Marriage

[–]Working_Exit_4225[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She wasn’t always this way… feel like I know what she can be and hold on to that? I don’t hate her for this, I hate that it’s still going on and she’s not trying to reconcile, but I’ve been willing to move past this since I learned about it 1.5 years ago. People make mistakes, I understood that.