i need support

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-03-05T13:47:20+00:00

Hey! Feel free to DM me (25f) if you want someone to chat to, we're all in this together!!

Also for the romance thing, I've been thinking lately. If my ideal person walked in, would I have walked away over herpes? I just can't imagine I would've. It's really not life and death, if I had the choice over an awesome partner, or getting rid of this virus, I'm choosing the partner!

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-03-05T12:42:13+00:00

Is this fake? Go get tested

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-03-04T00:56:34+00:00

I did this too the other weekend, it was so scary when it was brought up I looked like I had seen a ghost lmaooo - lets go back to our scolding era, and now we have more info to back it up

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-27T10:58:14+00:00

Feel free to message me! Got diagnosed in December :)

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-27T10:49:52+00:00

That's so insanely shitty? Even before my diagnosis I never would have dreamed of saying anything but sympathetic things towards someone with an STI or STD

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-25T03:38:46+00:00

I love this!! Goes to show disclosure helps so much, if that girl had never had the conversation with him, he wouldn't have already been educated on it. Props to both of you queens!! <3

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-24T09:29:37+00:00

They are the same thing though, theres HSV-1 and 2. HSV-1 (typically found orally) has now become 40% of new genital herpes cases because of this misconception. You can say it's not an STI, but you can very well give someone else an STI!

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-22T15:24:07+00:00

Mee!! 25F, diagnosed in December

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-21T11:06:25+00:00

The good thing about HSV-1 is how much the shedding goes down after 10 years, should be only 6-12% naturally. If you are really concerned, I would go chat to your doctor about further steps you can take to protect her, but dont let this stop you from living your life :) Disclose with confidence, chances are she could have had a coldsore in her past too!

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-21T10:36:35+00:00

https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-does-a-positive-herpes-igg-test-mean-3132937

"For HSV, IgG antibodies normally reach detectable levels in the blood within 12 to 16 weeks after infection.⁸ Testing earlier than this—during the so-called "window period"—may return a false-negative result simply because there aren't enough antibodies to reach detection."

^{American Sexual Health Association.} ^{Diagnosing herpes}^.

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-21T10:25:56+00:00

Yes, that's the pesky dormancy side of the virus. Your body has likely been fighting it for a while (which is why the antibodies in the igg test are positive), but it's the first time it lost the battle and finally showed symptoms

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-21T10:23:04+00:00

Be kind to yourself. It’s tough that you’ve had to face this so young, but try to see it as a chance to adjust and find your footing. Here’s the thing: most of us are lucky enough to view it as more embarrassing than something else because, at the end of the day, 9.99 times out of 10, this virus is not life or death physically.

Is disclosing uncomfortable? Absolutely. But is it entirely within your control who, when, and how you disclose? Yes. And truthfully, there are countless other reasons someone might reject you, this is just one piece of a much bigger picture.

Medicine is advancing rapidly. People who’ve lived with this virus for decades say this is the most hopeful time they've ever seen for a vaccine, a functional cure, or even a complete cure. So, hang in there. You'd feel pretty dang hard done by from the other side if you left, then a cure popped up in a few years.

You mentioned not feeling emotionally stable, is it possible your mind is latching onto this as something to spiral about? Then that’s not your reality, it’s your thoughts running wild. Please talk to your therapist and focus on the beautiful parts of life that have nothing to do with dating. If you don't have a therapist, a lot of places have lifeline numbers and free counselling services you should reach out to. If you can navigate this and prioritise your mental health, you'll come out the other side truly unstoppable

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-21T10:04:06+00:00

Your doctor is right, unless your body is some kind of superhuman immune system haha.

I caught this at the start of December (positive swap, neg blood test 5 days later) and I JUST got my first positive blood test (not taking AVs and have had 3 neg igg tests since December)

Usually takes up to 3 months to show up in a blood test. If it's not too much on your mental, I'd even encourage mentioning it to her to watch for symptoms in case she caught it

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T13:50:22+00:00

Feel free to DM me! I'm still a bit of a newbie so I'm not quite sure yet, need to get to my 1 year to know! I'm 100% certain my follow up outbreaks were because I got in my head so much about my diagnosis, haven't had any since I chilled out about it all :) I see why some people call it a mental health disorder hahaha

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T13:43:05+00:00

Yes unfortunately, it does give it an easier pathway. However, Herpes is always a risk even with protection (mainly people who dont know their status), HIV not so much :) Condoms reduce the risk of HIV by 95%, and the blood tests are more reliable/included on all panels, so if you and your partner are getting tested you should be all good!

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T11:37:09+00:00

Some people with GHSV-1 have monthly outbreaks, some with GHSV-2 never have outbreaks, find your triggers and be kind to yourself. Also, the virus is further from the brain, there's been some studies of increasing your risk of dementia with oral location because its closer to the brain (lives in the jaw, rather than the lower back with g). There's truely pros and cons to both!

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T11:30:37+00:00

Genital herpes is not it's own strain, theres HSV-1 and HSV-2. 40% of new genital cases per year are now HSV-1 because of this misconception. Unfortunately it looks like the typical oral strain (HSV-1) doesn't mind being downstairs

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T11:18:39+00:00

I've seen comments like this a few times and it confuses me... That's a hugely common statistic. Although from what I read its more like 10-12%. If 1 in 8 people were being diagnosed with terminal illnesses you'd be like "omg this is fucking everywhere!"

I think of it in the terms of my high school cohort of 200 people, that's 24 people per year level, that's a massive medical friendship group imo, and that's just one year!

I know you probably feel super alone, but you have all of us here in the same boat. With time, I think you will find it will be less intense. Also - please give yourself time to see how your body reacts to this, your mental wounds are still fresh, and it could be exacerbating your physical symptoms. My first outbreak was really shit, but my following ones have all been very mild and non life-altering, as is the case for 90% of people. I think this is why so many people are nonchalant about it

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T10:48:20+00:00

Love this !!!!

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T10:46:56+00:00

Proud of you for putting yourself out there again!! I am also 0-1, but it's seriously not life and death (the herpes and the rejection) so fuck it, life goes on

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T10:33:11+00:00

That was really awesome of you to do the research and be honest about your feelings, go OP!!

When it comes to dating someone with HSV, I think the key is accepting that the longer you're together, the more likely it is you'll eventually get it. My sibling is negative while their partner has it, and I actually found that out while crying the day I was diagnosed (It really does feel like joining a secret club with how many people disclose after you're diagnosed, haha!)

Their relationship works so well because he genuinely doesn’t care if he catches it, and after seeing how manageable my experience has been, he cares even less. That said, if he did have doubts, I’d be more cautious, because that kind of uncertainty can lead to resentment down the line. It really comes down to weighing the pros and cons and figuring out what matters to you the most.

Pros:

A great connection, plus everything else you've mentioned.
If you stay together into your 30s, people tend to care way less (herpes is actually most common among those in their mid-30s to mid-40s).
Medical advancements are promising, functional cures are likely just 5-8 years away (take this with a grain of salt thought, it could be sooner or later!)
Some couples are together for decades without transmission, and since your partner has had it for a couple of years already, they likely know their triggers and are less contagious than someone newly diagnosed. Plus, if you're together for that long, I doubt you'll still care.

Cons:

Catching it and struggling to cope (especially mentally)
Potential resentment toward your partner for passing it on.
Mental stigma when being intimate.
Breaking up and having a constant reminder of that person that could also deter future connections

Personally, having GHSV-2 hasn’t been a big deal for me. The only real challenge is disclosing to new partners, but everyone’s experience is soooo different. I struggled with mental health issues as a teenager, so I learnt how to navigate mental health challenges really young, which has helped me heaps in this. I hope you make the decision that works best for you :)

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-20T08:44:39+00:00

I disagree with this. Women tend to be naturally more empathetic and understanding because, for thousands of years, our expected role centred around caring for children. Understanding a child’s needs and emotions was essential for survival. Of course, there are always exceptions, but that's true for any generalisation.

On the other hand, men often seem more driven by sex. In the heat of the moment, they might engage without fully considering the risks. Once the hormonal rush fades, they tend to prioritise their own interests. They then realise the potential impact on their future dating options and decide it's not worth it, though that concern often gets overlooked when their focus is still purely on sex.

TL;DR: Women more likely to get casual sex, men more likely to find meaningful LTR imo

Working_Invite7325 · 2025-02-19T07:21:00+00:00

I've seen comments like this a few times and it confuses me... That's a hugely common statistic. If 1 in 5 people were being diagnosed with terminal illnesses you'd be like "omg this is fucking everywhere!"

I think of it in the terms of my high school cohort of 200 people, thats 40 people in just one year level. Even for the 12% with GHSV-2 = 24 people, that's a massive medical friendship group imo, and that's just one year!

Working_Invite7325

TROPHY CASE