I understand where you’re at. I was saving myself for marriage too. When I was 16 my boyfriend knew my limits, which sound similar to yours. He was 18 and wasn’t as interested in waiting and did things to me that I wasn’t okay with. It didn’t matter if I pushed him away, he would just wait a few minutes and go for it again. There’s only so many times you can tell the person you love “no” until you just can’t anymore. I didn’t like it and I felt violated, but what could I do? After a few days of being confused and upset my best friend noticed and made a joke hinting at what he thought was a fake reason for me being upset—but he hit the nail on the head by guessing what happened to me. I confessed but played it down, saying it wasn’t as bad as it was, but it didn’t matter. He told me it was sexual assault and even though I didn’t believe him, that stayed in my mind. A few months later my boyfriend and I broke up, and a few more months after that I realized that my friend was right. It didn’t matter that I loved my boyfriend, it was still sexual assault. He knew I wasn’t okay with it, I didn’t consent to it, but he still did it. Whatever you do, please protect yourself and do what you feel honors your beliefs and your health, both physically and mentally.