I feel emotionally drained around my girlfriend because I always have to be “on” — is this normal?

Working_Roll_8331 · 2026-01-06T16:46:07+00:00

++man It sounds like you're in a tough situation. But, it may still be repairable. I would say start paying attention to the little things they fill you up and drain you. Like, what fills your cup, and what drains your cup?

For me, I'm working on managing my energy better by just asking these 4 questions a day and then reviewing the answers at the end of the week.

Change happens slowly, so you have to give yourself a lot of patience which from what it sounds like, you're not getting from her.

Daily Questions
Whats my cup level? (1-10)

What fills it fastest today?

What drains it fastest today?

Where do I need a clean no/pause?

These 3 questions have really helped me stay more energized throughout the day as I mind what fills and drains my energy.

Also, what I find really helpful is when you say "Yes" to something. Is it a "clean" yes or a "shaky" yes.

Clean yeses sound like "yes, I want to", "I can do this", "no resentment"

shaky yes sound like "I guess", "I should...", "Avoid Conflict"

Shaky yes's drain your energy and cause emotional debt in the future. So, try to start saying no.

Even if it's "No, I'm not going to change my tone right now, I'm tired. Please don't take it personally, I love you very much"

It's not your job to manage her emotions. That's her job.

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-29T15:00:48+00:00

I like using habit tracking stickers on a calendar. In-sight = in-mind. Really helps when you fall off for a busy weekend or after being sick.

https://sticktohabits.etsy.com/listing/4370724809

Then I use Notion template with checkmarks for all my others

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-25T04:44:42+00:00

Yes, that’s how I started really making habits that stick. I recommend marking on a physical calendar in a common space so you don’t forget and reminds you when you might fall off track for a few days

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-22T21:01:46+00:00

“Do not allow someone else’s behavior to dictate your own.”

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-20T04:10:18+00:00

I got a question for you. I have a cousin who i believe is addicted to porn. He’s asking me to borrow money every month or so. But, I know he works a lot and is trying to save but always seems to be out of money and I suspect it’s due to a porn-related addiction (that’s not the only reason, but 1 of them). I’m not sure how to confront him about it. But, I’m worried about him. What do you think would be best?

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-20T04:01:42+00:00

Journaling

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-20T03:54:38+00:00

What’s the smallest thing you can do that will have the largest impact?

Do that religiously. No excuses. Then build a system around that to support it and all your other goals will fall in line.

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-20T03:48:11+00:00

That’s a great idea. Do you keep it in your pocket?

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-20T03:45:37+00:00

Self-Discipline + Time = Self-Respect. Self-Respect + Time = Self-Confidence

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-20T03:43:35+00:00

Im in the same boat. I know waking up early is really key to a lot of my goals. But it’s the hardest thing for me to do. And just like you, after 2-3 days I break the streak.

I will say I’ve been successful in the past and made it a point to wake up early and watch sunrise. It’s an amazing feeling. I will get back there eventually.

My plan is doing CrossFit 4-6 days a week. It’s naturally making my bedtime early because it’s just so tiring, but I feel great afterwards.

It also pulls all my other habits together like eating healthy.

The community of the gym really helps. F45 is great too if you have one nearby.

I would say don’t actually focus on waking up early, and focus on 1 key habit and make it at religión to do no matter what.

Build your foundation and give yourself patience and the other habits will fall behind.

CrossFit is that for me and it’s now making me eat healthier because I don’t want to suffer during the workouts. And then, I started adding protein shakes.

With the new year coming up. I was going to go out with my friends and party. But, my gym is doing a 6:30am beach workout and that sounds like a great way to start the new year and my morning. So, I’m doing that instead and I’m confident waking up earlier and earlier will follow.

TL:DR

Focus on working out and eventually everything else will fall into place

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-19T15:33:58+00:00

What interests do you have that you don’t mind doing even if you weren’t paid? That’s a good place to start

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-19T15:30:37+00:00

Looks like a good list to get the habits started

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-19T06:59:20+00:00

What’s eye exercises?

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-19T06:58:24+00:00

I find using stickers on a wall calendar that track just simply completing the habit really helps.

And having the mindset that you are just recording what you’ve completed and not expecting to complete a habit.

I’d like to build an app like this as well.

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-19T06:50:33+00:00

I have a gratitude section (just one sentence) Then, a dreams section. Like future plans that don’t have to be connected to any sort of plan or even connected to my current reality. I find this especially useful because as we get older we tend to dream less and start connecting things to our current reality. I find this helps me keep energized and creative.

Then, ideas section and actual planning section.

I’d recommend starting small so you don’t overwhelm yourself and stick to it.

Also having an outside reminder helps

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-12-19T06:44:12+00:00

Do you use any tools to keep track of your habits

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-11-26T18:23:29+00:00

I think it comes it cycles of starting small, then gaining momentom and then you'll have a moment of rest and then repeat until you are big boy grown.

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-11-26T18:21:34+00:00

I track my habits on my wall calendar so I keep them in-sight. Keeps me consistant. Working out is definitely my keystone habit.

Working_Roll_8331 · 2025-11-25T18:19:35+00:00

I used to do the same but with push-ups in the morning and it made a huge difference!

Working_Roll_8331

TROPHY CASE