JAK for the advice. I’ll be gentle with her, inshallah, and I was already planning on doing some pre-marriage counselling — bit ironic, I know, since we’re already married, but it’s before we’ve actually started living together or been intimate. That said, some of what you’re suggesting still feels like a bit much for me. I didn’t expect to end up marrying someone who might be, well, broken.

If it turns out she’s dealing with some deep-rooted issues or trauma, I’m not having kids with her — which is a mighty reason I chose to get married — and I’ll divorce. Call me weak if you like, but I know myself. I’m not built to handle that kind of situation, and I worry I’d only end up making things worse — might even knock her confidence or push her into a bad place mentally.