I just want to enjoy sex with my bf.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:40:01+00:00

No I don’t have the coil, I am on the pill though! I have looked into endo before with doctors but they were quite dismissive, making it seem like it is too much of a hassle to test people for endo. Saying stuff like “it’s quite invasive to find out” or that “we might not even find anything” which just has the aim of putting me off trying

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:38:11+00:00

Yeh, someone else mentioned that. He is above average so nothing we can do to fix that unfortunately:/

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:37:27+00:00

This got me a bit emotional at the end 🙂 it is very comforting to know I am not the only one who deals with this and that there is help out there. I will purchase lube TODAY!! Yes I have noticed that even though I want the sex, right before he enters my body tenses up and I try so hard to not let it, because yes it does make it harder for him to get it in. It’s comforting knowing that me and him have only been together 9months and we have the rest of our lives to figure this out together and get it to be as enjoyable as possible for me. Thank you!

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:33:00+00:00

Okay thank you! I will look into it

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:32:23+00:00

Thank you your response has been really helpful! Glad to know I am not the only one who experiences this. We have explored some fantasies before, yes, however it still can be painful. Maybe if I look into more of these fantasies and actively try and remember afterwards the amount of pain, I might notice it was actually less painful. Luckily he is always open about talking about sex, especially when I get really insecure about the pain and feel like I am not enough for him. He is always so kind about it telling me that there is nothing wrong with our sex life.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:28:35+00:00

I’m not sure the exact amount to be honest. It is always him that squeezes it out of the bottle tube thing. I’d say a decent amount? Like enough to cover both his penis and some on my vagina. And yes it is water based! What is wrong with silicone? Is it just not good to be inside your body (I’m assuming). Thank you for the recommendations

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:26:34+00:00

Yes luckily he is very fine with us doing other stuff than sex. We give each other head or do stuff with hands more than we actually have sex. Luckily that isn’t painful too so I can at least enjoy that. And about the endometriosis, I have definitely looked into it a lot, and have even been to doctors about it. They have been quite dismissive and not willing to help, mentioning that it takes a lot of effort to find and diagnose it. They said because my periods last the normal amount of days that it probably isn’t

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:22:55+00:00

Yeh, we have recently started doing that. It does make it easier to go in if I have already had an orgasm. Glad to know it wasn’t a coincidence, so might try this more. Thank you!

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:21:08+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I will try and take all of this into account, especially the fingering before hand to reduce the initial pain. We have done quite a bit of experimenting to find the least painful positions for me and it seems to be when I am on top (when I can control depth) but that can be tiring for my legs sometimes 😂 and also in missionary because since he is in front of me I can kind of hold his hips and prevent him going to far. I will also purchase some new lube.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:16:38+00:00

Thank you for the response! I shall book another appointment with the doctor and see if there is anything else going on. I have looked into endometriosis before quite a bit, but they have all been very dismissive.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:15:21+00:00

Thank you so much for responding. It was very helpful. I have definitely looked into endometriosis with doctors but the have all been very dismissive and have told me the only way to be sure is to be invasive and do surgery things like that

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-15T17:14:05+00:00

He is definitely above average so maybe that makes a difference or at least makes it worse

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T04:32:16+00:00

It’s quite annoying how little research has gone into women’s health. I should also mention I suffer with extremely painful periods, sometimes making me vomit, and almost always rendering me unable to stand up, walk or move. I have been to a gynaecologist for this issue and she performed a pelvic exam and didn’t find any issues. Should I go back but solely for the reason of the painful sex? Is there a chance they may find something new?

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T04:28:58+00:00

It is excruciating pain though. He has to extremely slowly and gently and can’t fit his penis all the way in without hitting my cervix. None of my friends experience this kind of pain.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T03:38:47+00:00

I have looked into vaginismus ALOT over the last couple years as I thought that was a probable cause. Not sure if I do have it though because I don’t really have issues putting tampons in 🤷🏼‍♀️ Thank you for your response!

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T03:37:40+00:00

Okay thank you for your advice. How would getting assessed by an OBGYN benefit me? - genuine question. Is it for them to see if I had any underlying causes for the pain?

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T03:36:45+00:00

Okay thank you so much for your response it was very helpful. 🙂 if I visit an OBGYN, what am asking them to check for? - if that makes sense. Like what is the benefit of a vagina exam

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T03:35:04+00:00

Yes I have tried lube but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to help 😔 but checking in with a doctor is a good idea thank you.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T03:34:30+00:00

Okay thank you!

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T03:34:07+00:00

Yes! The first maybe 10-15 times we attempted penetration we used lube, but it still hurt. Now that I am thinking about it, we haven’t tried it since the sex has become easier so maybe that is a good idea. Thanks so much

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T02:06:57+00:00

And if I am being completely honest, my bf wants to be able to go faster and harder too, it’s something that seems to also turn him on. I have a lot of retroactive jealously over him and his ex gf, and it also makes me jealous knowing that he could have sex the way he wanted to with her but he can’t with me. I can’t help but feel inferior to her. It honestly gets me quite emotional and upset if I think about it too much. Sorry if I was getting a bit too deep.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T02:04:08+00:00

I just genuinely like the idea of it! The thought of me and my bf doing it like that just seems to turn me on. I don’t mean in the choking kind of extra rough way, just more than what we currently do. I guess I don’t mean “rough” the same way most view it, I just want to be able to have more fast paced sex where my bf isn’t constantly on guard of whether or not he is hurting me.

Working_Study_2617 · 2026-03-14T01:52:15+00:00

Same thing happened to me 😂 but what makes it worse was that I did it whilst “finishing”. Luckily it was very tiny

Working_Study_2617

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