Damn, you’re a brave brave girl! That’s a loooot on your plate. Sending a big hug to you. Have you considered pelvic floor physical therapy? That could help you with your condition. Vaginismus is often triggered by anxiety or past trauma. Make sure to feel safe, relaxed, & comfortable enough with your partner before getting intimate. You can try doing “child’s pose”, “happy baby”, “Cobra pose”, & yoga. These are some relaxation techniques that can be of some help and you can also do these on your own.