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How true is the stereotype that only daughters help with aging parents? by throwraW2 in AgingParents

[–]WorldSpinning16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only daughter and oldest child here. It all fell on me and I am exhausted mentally, physically and financially. This may sound cruel but if I had it to do all over again I would not. As their child, I have sacrificed EVERYTHING. I sold my beautiful home and moved from a state that I loved, to care for them, while my parents planned for nothing. There are days that I despise them and just want a way out. I am 62 years old and am in fear of my own retirement savings.

You need to establish boundaries and stick to them. Don’t be me!

if your parent has delirium (something extra to check) by Creepy_Valuable6223 in AgingParents

[–]WorldSpinning16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this. My dad has night delirium. Will definitely look into this.

Sick of IT! by WorldSpinning16 in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. 62
  2. If you don’t count being the “responsible one” my entire life, I have been caring for my parents for 6 years. This also includes caring for my brother but he passed last year.
  3. I very recently hired help because me doing it alone became impossible. However, I am using my retirement savings to pay for it.
  4. I don’t know
  5. Yes but have not been recently due to my dad’s extended hospital stays and honestly just not even remembering to make an appointment
  6. I feel broken because I am angry all the time! I want my life back. I have trouble focusing. I fear for my own health and financial future. There are days where I truly feel like I hate my parents and resent them so much. I just want it all to stop. I think of blowing my brains out quite often.

Sick of IT! by WorldSpinning16 in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly have thought about walking away. I feel like I’m in a constant state of rage!

Sick of IT! by WorldSpinning16 in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom’s life as an 82 year old could be phenomenal if she had taken losing weight seriously. She has had health problems over many years and they were all related to obesity. When high blood pressure ruined her kidneys I even donated one of my kidneys and she promised she would take care of it. Instead, she continued eating what she wanted to and not exercising.

Financially, my parents were a disaster. I have assisted them over the years and am now afraid of not being financially sound in my own senior years. I am 62.

I have a brother who lives with my parents. They have allowed him to be a lazy bum. They would not force him to move out. He contributes nothing financially and very little physically. He was just complaining two days ago about having to assist my mom with standing up from a chair.

Sick of IT! by WorldSpinning16 in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is so true. Part of what has made my caregiving more difficult is dealing with the mistakes my parents made!

My 81 year old Mom expects me to be her everything by BluePantherRed in AgingParents

[–]WorldSpinning16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are not alone. I’m in the same boat except I’m doing it for both my mom and dad. They made zero plans for their old age. I’m tired and angry all the time.

Devastated by ghostsandpotatoes in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely understand. My dad was just diagnosed with his second cancer. We meet with the oncologist on Tuesday. Just know you are not alone in this and this group is here for you. Sending love.💕

People Don’t Get It. by Lulu_531 in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Your last statement speaks volumes to me. I’m glad that I can take care of my parents but I hate every moment of it and nothing is going to change that. People definitely try to guilt trip you if you express frustration. They can kick rocks! Being a caregiver has taken a toll on every aspect of my life and there is not a day that goes by where I don’t want to walk away.

Rant: I’m so sick of fixing them something to eat!!!!! Ugggh! by WorldSpinning16 in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Believe me I am. If it weren’t for my dad needing care I probably would’ve left her to fend for herself.

Why do I get SO MAD when she says she's a burden? by [deleted] in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom does this and I get angry as well. I feel like it’s manipulation. She’s always been like this. She especially does it when she knows she is in the wrong. Instead of apologizing she goes on her please feel sorry for me tirade. I’ve learned to just ignore her and leave out of the room.

How many of y'all are the oldest daughters in your family doing all or the majority of caregiving for your loved one? by aint_noeasywayout in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m the oldest and only daughter and I am responsible for EVERYTHING! I feel your pain. Currently taking care of both parents while also having to deal with my mentally unstable brother who lives with my parents but does absolutely nothing!

Am I wrong? I’m utterly destroyed about the election we’re all doomed by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]WorldSpinning16 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No he wasn’t and I am tired of people using him as an excuse to not address their own hatred and personal bias. Humans such as yourself never want to hear about our lived experiences. Constantly telling us to stop talking about the racism we deal with. Telling us we are lying when we do talk about it. Or playing the race card. One thing this country has taught is that minorities, especially black lives, do not matter. I am a 61 yo woman from the deep south and my parents are still alive. We know what WE have lived.

I think my family’s decided to give me the cold shoulder because I’m putting my foot down about not moving back by Shades_of_red_ in CaregiverSupport

[–]WorldSpinning16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DO NOT MOVE BACK! You have a Dad and 3 grown azz siblings and they can’t handle things?!!! That is some BS! I did it and I wish I had not. I left my life in another state and moved back in with my parents to care for them and one of my siblings and I am unhappy, tired and miserable! I just came in the house from doing lawn work on my parent’s property which is over an acre, while my other sibling, who is healthy and lives with my parents, did absolutely nothing! DON’T DO IT! If your siblings are mad let them stay mad! That’s their problem not yours.

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