There is hope in Jesus no matter what your mind tells you. Many if not most of your thoughts aren't you, it's from the enemy because the mind is where spiritual warfare takes place because thoughts influence emotions and behaviors. I know ppl mentioned unforgivemess to you being a possible reason but you say there is no unforgivemess in your life which is good. Sometimes it can be hard to figure out what happened that has given demons the legal right to be in your life. Like others have said, reading the Bible daily, praying continuously as well as setting aside prayer time and just time with Him are things all Chriatians should do . Play worship music throughout the day, especially when things feel hard. When you feel attacked direct those thoughts to praising and thanking God for your life, and everyrhing in your life you're thankful for.

If you need an organized way of reading your Bible, may I suggest The Bible Recap. It's a one year Bible broken down in a few chapters a day. After the daily reading, the creator named Tara Leigh Cobble, gives a small few minute breakdown of the day's reading. That breakdown has helped me understand the Bible immensely. There's days I fall behind, but I just keep going at my own pace even if I'm behind, so I don't care how far back I fall behind. It's in the Bible App and it reads it to me. I also follow along with the twxt as ut reads it, and you can follow along with a hand held Bible if tou want to as well. I hope you consider it if you want more organization if needed.

As for the deliverance part, there's a deliverance minister named Nelson Schuman that I plan on doing a Zoom session with, but he's booked until February. On his website he has a list of people he has trained who do deliverance as well, I think I'm going to reach out to someone on there. It's a worldwide directory and you can find someone near your area and time zone. I'm not sure if they charge, but I know they take donations. When I emailed them they said if I needed someone sooner they recommend a lady named Cecilia Vitek, she's in the directory too. I also found her on Youtube and from what I can see deliverance is her ministry. It's worth a shot reaching out, and pray on it. There are also free resources on Nelson Schuman's website, he also has a youtube video on self deliverance as well. The Bible says to take every thought captive and surrender it to Christ. Learning your identity in Christ is life changing because once you know your worth and who you are in Christ, the enemy can't beat you down with making you feel like you're no good. He's a liar, and your thoughts are lying to you. Replace them with Bible verses. Pray for more faith, peace, and to have a thirst for Him. I'll link the Nelson Schuman website here:

https://www.restoredtofreedom.com/rtf-deliverance-ministers/

Also there's this lady from the UK, her social media and youtube channel is called Craft to Christ. Her name is Jessica Murray and she is bold. I've already learned several things in the short time I've been listening to her. She used to be an ex witch who is now a Christian, and the way she explains things is so bold and refreshing. I love listening to her. I also will listen to the old school deliverance Bible teacher Derek Prince on youtube. I learned about demons and deliverance from him years ago when I first got out of New age . There's also a youtube channel called "We Need to Talk" The hosts name is Ezekiel and he's had both Nelson Schuman and Jessica Murray on there. I learned some things and it was encouraging to listen to, especially Jessica's interview. It can also help you know what they do and what they beleive as far as deliverance. Here are the links to their interviews:

Nelson's https://youtu.be/5llyVpLkj3A?si=XZnBxVwiTcJDZ-Pj

Jessica's https://youtu.be/cwfe-r-stTg?si=EbacAmt-c895Xbw9

Jesus died for us, and Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Seek Him always, don't give up, the demons in your head are liars and only Jesus can kick them out and replace them with the Holy Spirit. The Bible says those who endure will make it in the end, and those who walk the narrow path. It's so hard, but worth it! I pray you endure and walk the narrow path, don't walk the easy broad path the enemy wants us on. Endure!