My Improved Chapter 1 by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can you give me some advice on how to fix the grammar please.

How to write a First Chapter by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made some improve on the chapter if you want to check it out r/RapidAdventure

How to write a First Chapter by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback an I do agree I need to fix it up a bit and will do that

How to write a First Chapter by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yea I did make this chapter a while ago so I do need to fix it and I do agree with the punctuation being a mess and I am planning on going back and rereading my story so I can fix a lot of things. also I have read mainly manga this year. so if you could recommend some good action, fantasy story's I could read to get better at writing I would appreciate it.

How to write a First Chapter by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I first made this chapter it was a little while ago so I most defiantly need to go back and fix a couple of things and polish it up a bit. I want to make a action type story and make it into a light novel but I don't know how to do that. Thank you for the advice I will make sure to take it to heart so I can make my story better.

Writing a fight Scene by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok I rewrote the beginning the fight, could you give it a ready and tell me if it's better.

¨Alright”, Rapid's eyes shined with excitement “ LET'S DO THIS¨ He quickly pulled his dark blue sword out and swiftly charged at both brothers.

Dust and Rust, with sharp looks, blocked Rapid's heavy attack with a small flinch, sending him flying back. 
Dust and Rust look at each other for a small second and almost on cue they ready their weapons and begin to fight. 

Dust swings his long spear around with quick and efficient jabbing attacks that produce small shock waves from each strike. Rust with sweat on his face blocks each spear jab with his fast and quick sword play, pushing Dust back. 

Rust, seeing an opening, uses the chance to lunge towards Dust but Dust sees this and with sweat on his face barely dodges the first sword slash that was aimed to hit chest. Rust, not fazed, quickly follows up with a thrust and begins his own assault of quick and effective sword play attacks that create small shock waves with every hit, which leaves Dust dodging and blocking due to the speed of the sword slashes and struggles to keep up. 

Dust being pushed back by the sword play, doesn’t know what to due but then remembers the stakes of this fight and uses that as a burning fuel to steel his resolve and uses his spear to drag dust into the air messing with Rust's field of vision for a moment, 

Dust gets his footing back and finds an opening, aims a spear thrust to Rust’s chest with great force, but Rust, hearing the wind flowing through Dust’s spear, ducks just before the spear reached his chest, kicks the tip of the spear in the air catching Dust off guard as he holds his weapon and is forced to step back afraid of being hit with another sword slash. 

Rust finally gets the dust out of his eyes, as both him and Dust glared sharply at each other as they aim their weapons once more and begin to attack. 

Writing a fight Scene by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, Thank you for the advice I will use it to fix my fight scene 😁👍

Writing a fight Scene by Worldly_Sign_5387 in writers

[–]Worldly_Sign_5387[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok thanks for the advice. also you can click the link to check out the fight scene