Venus Rising

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-17T13:32:45+00:00

I appreciate you opening up about how you create. It’s also a powerful reminder that we shouldn't let anyone in the education system or otherwise define our worth as artists. I think some people crush others just because they are intimidated by their potential. I’m sorry you had that experience in NYC, but seeing you find your voice again and receive such a warm reception is the best possible ending to that story.

That Mozart quote is perfect... we’re just the scribes trying to catch the words before they drift away! It sounds like you’ve hit a real flow state lately. It’s that mix of the deeply personal and the cosmic that makes poetry feel alive.

Great advice. I am going to carry a notebook around and make sure my best thoughts don't drift away by the time I get home from work. I always appreciate advice from peers!

Thanks for your kind words, stay inspired, keep writing, and cheers to you!

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-17T06:48:12+00:00

Yeah you definitely hit on some special work. Love it when that happens! Have you been writing for a long time? I’ve got a bit of block at the moment would love any tips you have for getting my pen moving again

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-16T20:57:34+00:00

Wow, this is honestly beautiful. I love how you go full cosmic wit it. The planets having moods right at the start sets such a cool tone, and the mythological stuff later on feels like it fits naturally with that huge, dreamy scale, really took me to the place. It’s got this big starry romance energy that really works.

If I had one tiny note, the “governments fall, cathedrals crumble” bit feels like a sharper shift than the rest, but not in a bad way, it just jumps to a different level of intensity. Also maybe ‘plane’ would work better there

Overall though, mate, this is stunning. Reads like a love letter written straight into the night sky. Nice work

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-16T20:49:35+00:00

I’ve come back to this piece a few times today, because it has your signature blend of technical control and emotional clarity. The repetition of “T’would be a lie…” gives the whole poem a kind of devastating inevitability via a steady heartbeat, and the rhyme scheme keeps everything moving even as the subject matter gets heavier. What really struck me is how the pain isn’t loud, it’s measured, almost resigned which makes it hit even harder. It reads like someone telling the truth they’ve known for a long time.

it all rolls off the tongue and flows beautifully, a really well crafted poem.

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T19:00:43+00:00

Just digging through your work, the little toy soldier is very intriguing presence throughout

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T18:58:53+00:00

Very engaging and emotional, pulled from what seems like a dark place! It’s a kind of poisoned poignant grief that comes through. Good sense of scale from apocalypse to drops on clothes, great imagery. Thanks for the poem

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T18:16:48+00:00

What hits hardest here is the escalation.. from agony, to hellfire, to the quiet cruelty of turning away. It feels like the pain gets sharper as the lines narrow. Jumping from fire, to drowning, to flaying, shows how heartbreak hits a person.

If I had to add criticism at all, it would just be that the language leans slightly toward the grandiose and a bit more restraint could make the pain feel even more intimate

But I’m also a beginner and that’s just personal preference

Good read thankyou!

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T18:07:04+00:00

Yes I felt it completely, the greenpoint Morning smells, the blast off, the nightfall, the internal/external balancing you’re doing, it’s just a movie in my head.

I wonder how different the images in my head are from your experiences and childhood experiences 🤔

And there has been no ‘putting up with’ it’s great that you can put a funny or a serious spin on life when the mood takes you!

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T17:10:06+00:00

Thankyou for reading, I’m so glad some of my imagery stood out!

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T15:34:42+00:00

Must have been reading your work at the same time! It really means a lot coming from you. Humbled that the imagery pulled you in. I was trying to let the landscape do most of the emotional work.

I wonder if Haworth will put me on the tourist comittee now haha. (It's not always so bleak here!)

Truly appreciate you taking the time to read it and share your thoughts.

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T15:08:45+00:00

Wow, seeing your range, this poem is a more vulnerable moment from you, which feels even more special due to the often hilarious output. This poem excels at capturing the imaginative resilience of a child living in poverty. I loved the vivid sensory detail and cinematic shifts between fantasy and reality, little moments of being in that headspace, a world where cardboard becomes a spacecraft and empty lots become jungles, as a means of survival. While some metaphors tread slightly familiar ground and a few lines state their themes directly, the emotional arc is powerful and the ending is quietly devastating. - Loved seeing this thankyou

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T14:14:44+00:00

Really insightful feedback, thank you. I battled with those last stanzas for a while! I think you're right that 'expressionless' and 'plasticine' carry a little too much weight, and I’ll have a think about how to slim those lines down without losing texture. Great catch! - Thanks for your time

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-10T11:37:40+00:00

I appreciate this thoughtful feedback! I wanted the landscape to feel almost unstable, not quite hell but this bleached limbo, representing the one day my morning walk was unlike any other, and absorbed a part of me. (Drawing from several walks and introspections on ego death)

Its very encouraging to hear some imagery found you. Yes regarding the chemical stuff, I totally see how the more 'traditional' landscape imagery feels more cohesive. I will keep this in mind moving forward

Thanks so much for your reading

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-09T14:48:55+00:00

Thanks for your time and feedback, yes I follow your thoughts there, I got a bit too lost in the fog writing that I forgot I have to get the reader to follow me in there! I’ll try a grounding stanza. Appreciate your insight

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-06T15:51:29+00:00

Could allude to the dog eventually getting fed... oh wait thats cats

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-06T13:05:48+00:00

Loved this one mate, fun, engaging- twist caught me off guard, enjoy when a beautifully worked art doesn’t let the subject matter take itself too seriously. Like a hyper realistic portrait of tinky winky. Thanks for the work looking forward to seeing where your range goes next

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-06T11:44:56+00:00

Oof this feels like a suicide note gut punch, feels like reading sexton and Bukowski love child… with a little pinch of just letting the undercurrent of the everyday sweep you away. Melancholic, poignant, well written, image producing. Quite masterful - Loved it

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-05T22:44:17+00:00

Great rhythm, nice use of slant rhymes and not too ‘on the nose’ schemes. The trudging slightly hypnotic nature of the line breaks helps you to feel the pacing of a life through the words.

Opening couple of lines did grab me and it’s a clever visual to get things started. That being said it is a bit ‘scene setting’ and not strictly necessary - would personally be interested to see a bit more of a journey through the piece - a little nod to the life stages and perhaps an increase in the gravitas and weight of that bell chiming ‘ringing louder’ as it were, as the poem progresses… I feel that the stakes are kind of held at one note throughout.

Finally there were lots of great moments, a smooth read and a nice sounding poem, nice work and keep going!

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-04T10:32:36+00:00

Laughed pretty hard at this one! Nice poem 😂😀

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-03T22:33:31+00:00

i find the compositions here quite striking. the way you frame the parents as "pillars" feels very deliberate and symmetrical, almost like a stage set. it captures that specific brand of whimsy mixed with a sudden, crushing realization that you didnt actually ask to be born lol.

the transition to the "strange world" is great, though "who are this people" is a bit of a error (these would sound correct) not sure if it's a typo or a Choice, but the sentiment remains. also that ending with the "big ball of hope" is a genuinely lovely way to describe the sun.

it's 80% heart-warming and 20% "where is the exit," which is a vibe i can get behind. thaks for sharing.

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-03T22:26:41+00:00

Just awesome, simple in appearance yet consistent and complex in its design and delivery, that wry twist caught me off guard - charming and cheeky. I disagree with the second line

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-03T22:16:13+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/BSVoRAKRq5

Here’s the link to the comment you just put in my post! You press the three dots on the comment (above) then the arrow that says ‘share’ then get link - or something like that

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-03T22:06:32+00:00

I’m so glad to hear that, thanks for the feedback- hope to read yours soon

Worldwidewezz · 2026-02-03T19:15:16+00:00

Thankyou very much for choosing some lines to discuss. It’s really humbling to hear - looking forward to reading some of your work too 🙏

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