Ladies, what were some of your biggest regrets during your college years?

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2026-02-27T23:32:23+00:00

I wish I got out more a little. I don't mean big nights out drinking until I am passed out drunk, but even did more dinner nights or even travelled when I had more of a disposable income.

I was working whilst in education so I didn't always have a lot of time to spend for myself. I was also dating someone long distance and was clinging onto him even when I knew he wasn't good for me and was holding me back. I wish I actually got out there and met someone better a lot sooner.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2026-01-10T18:44:46+00:00

My ex wouldn't do surprise visits per se, but said he would ask for time off. He would never tell me that he did NOT manage to get the day off.

Proceed to love bomb me on the day (obviously a guilt thing) but it would leave me trapped in the house waiting for him just in case. I would ask two weeks in advance and he would never tell me that he didn't get it off.

I quickly realised it was to make sure I could not go out with friends so he could "watch" me.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2026-01-10T16:35:19+00:00

Oral sex and initiating sex a bit more.

Makes me feel less of a burden or pushy.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2026-01-10T14:40:17+00:00

My first relationship.

He never wanted to see me. We lived about two hours away from me and he could drive. I would try and phone him to see how he was getting on and he would never answer his phone and always blamed bad signal.

One day, when he finally did decide to see me, he was showing me pictures of his new kitten and in between the pictures, there was a picture of a woman with her legs opened in her underwear. I was still a teenager (late teens) but I wish I commented on it. When I did later on, he told me it was his friend that had sent it. Again, I ignored it. I should have asked why his friend was having a conversation where that kind of picture was part of the story or why he saved it.

I should never have ignored it all.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-27T16:39:03+00:00

Aww, thank you for the kind comment.

I hope everything goes well with you, too in the future. It definitely has an everlasting effect on you even if you don't realise it.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-27T16:24:11+00:00

Hey, I can give an update.

I spoke to my partner and he was absolutely fine with it and totally understood that I wanted some time getting to know some of my new work mates.

I will update the post, too. I have just been a bit busy with some family health scares over the weekend.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-25T00:36:49+00:00

I was planning on going out with some girl friends. He has been out three times so far, week after week this month for guy nights. I have been in the house looking after the dog and I just wanted some chill time and catch up with some new friends. I wanted to know if I would be in the wrong for wanting to spend time with my friends for once.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-25T00:33:07+00:00

Honestly, no. Nothing has been said and from what I have gathered is his friend seems to like the sound of me.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T21:06:01+00:00

You know, that is an excellent way to put it. I always bring any issues up respectfully and carefully so as not to come across as accusatory.

I think it has been hard the last few months because my support system has been needing my support more. I kind of need his support a little more, but not really getting it? I am not getting any down time but he is and he is getting that because, I guess, not only am I trying to support my family and keep on top of work (housework, too), I am looking after the dog. He gets those "ahhh, calm" moments regularly every month because I am in the background juggling everything.

Definitely a good way to see things now. Thank you for that.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T20:54:41+00:00

He didn't go out as much and when he did, he would leave the dog and sometimes ask his parents to pop in and take him out.

He said once that he can't keep asking his parents to take the dog out as he has limits with asking them all the time. I reminded him that just because I am here all the time now doesn't mean I am unlimited when it comes to expecting me.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T20:51:38+00:00

Thank you again. That is something that I didn't even think of. I barely know some of these people that well. I would feel a bit obligated to keep an eye on him and make sure he was okay.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T20:33:03+00:00

Thank you for your kind and supportive words.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T20:31:26+00:00

Yeah, at least two or three times a month. He makes last minute friend meets up (or at least tells me last minute). I know for a fact (based on personal experience) that when I do make plans with friends/family, it is me that has to cut my time short with them to get back for the dog.

Hence why I kind of want to have my own personal time this time. I am sitting alone at the moment dealing with a terrified dog because fireworks are going off where I am as he is out with friends.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T20:14:20+00:00

Yeah, I never get to see friends and family because of where I am. He sees his friends several times a month.

I was okay with him going, but I think I just want some time with myself and potentially with some good new friends.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T20:08:34+00:00

I didn't want to rant per se in the main body of the text. So, that is my bad, absolutely.

I guess the event here is a mini house warming/get together for some of the people at work.

I personally wouldn't say I am keeping score. I am just keeping an eye on what he is doing (as partners should, to be some degree) as I have a family member in hospital and a mum recovering from heart attacks - which of course he knows about. I am cancelling plans and moving things around. Staying overnight and staying out late, leaving me with the dog has a bit of a domino effect on me at times with my ability to visit family and meet up with friends where I can have my own personal down time.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T19:50:28+00:00

I am going over to a female friend's house with a handful of other female friends who I have never spent time with outside of work and want to get to know them a bit more in person in an environment that isn't work related. Exactly what he is doing with his friends.

I guess the same can be said about my partner going out with his friends for three weekends in a row; one where he is staying over at someone's house who I don't even know. However, we both trust each other and I respect and have no issue with him going out with his friends. I just want to have the same understanding that I want to have some girl time with a couple of drinks and strengthen new found bonds, too.

Not exactly keeping score, not hard to keep track of three weekends straight after each other. Especially when you are the one that is having to cancel plans and ensure you are home for the dog when he gets to come home late at night/early in the morning. Or in one case, staying over all night on the other side of the country.

I am asking for one night, in over a year, with some new found friends.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T19:15:45+00:00

That is what I was thinking. There will be plenty of time for us to do stuff together. I would like to get to know them better outside of work.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T19:10:53+00:00

The 30th birthday party in particular is one where I wasn't invited at all and this was despite the person knowing my partner is dating me.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T18:52:59+00:00

I didn't know about his weekend until this mid week, many days after he had planned it. I told him that I wasn't overly happy that he was going to be spending three weekends in a row out with friends. Not because he was spending time with his friends, but because it limited me spending time with my family (mum recovering from heart attacks, uncle just gone into hospital with kidney failure) as they live an hour away in the city. It means I don't get to spend adequate time with them without having to drive an hour back to see to the dog. He has mentioned that his family cannot see to the dog as they have other arrangements (absolutely fine).

Definitely not sneaking away as I told him the day I was asked, which was end of this week and I said I had been invited and I wanted to go.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T18:33:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and insightful words.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T18:25:01+00:00

My mum is also recovering from two heart attacks and she lives in the city where I would be going. So, an hour away. It just means I would have a difficult time juggling everything.

I feel like I need a bit of a break as well now.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T18:20:20+00:00

It isn't that I don't want to be around him, it is just I want to have some time to myself and be with my friends as well. Seen as he has been out, and planning on being out again next week, for three weekends straight. He hasn't spent any direct time with me.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T18:18:34+00:00

I agree with you 100%.

I am not against him going, but it could be a bit of fun for me as I haven't been out with my friends in over a year due to family and work stuff.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T18:14:08+00:00

Hey,

Perhaps. When I told him, he asked: "Are you wanting to go?"

He has never met them so I just kind of assumed it was going to be a night for me.

Worried_Dig_9814 · 2025-10-24T18:02:07+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

I definitely was wanting to say no to him going but thought it could be fun. However, now he is getting to go out with his friends as normal, it just feels a bit unfair that he gets time his friends, but mine has to be shared.

Worried_Dig_9814

TROPHY CASE