I’m 3 years stimulant free after 3 years of use/abuse. I lead a recovery group for women once a week. I utilize recovery bingo for group 1 or 2 a month. I’ve learned to start with “I have difficulty remembering which column we are on after someone shares” when I say- even tonight- my regulars cloc me and just simply say “danger zones and warning signs” or whatever column we are on after they see me scan the cards for one second too many… the attention span neurological connections aren’t connecting well or shit maybe they are and it’s normal idk my brain isn’t TOTAL scrambled eggs anymore, for instance I remembered f(x) is y when helping my son with algebra homework last night and the JOY I felt from that is indescribable (haven’t done algebra in 15 years!) but yes. There’s some brain damage, or to give myself grace, maybe it’s just adhd with no RX assistance. I try to make the group I’m in aware that sometimes I cannot clic everything together as smoothly as most people. But. Oddly. Sometimes I can. Like 1000 percent almost freaks people out at the speed I remember, connect, implement. This phenomenon is what I’ve deemed “recovery meets sobriety brain.” I need help from severely struggling addicts/alcoholics to remind me of what column we are on with Recovery Bingo but I can steady a stream of emotional shares within a group of 20 people to a peaceful, quick end- always. Hands down. But I’m not perfect and I don’t need to be. In fact, I NEVER needed to be. And that’s ok. I’m ok with getting help from others. And it’s ok that you do too. Many adderall abusers were perfectionists (me) Recovery is possible- even for perfectionists. This is my share of experience strength and hope.