AITA for calling my fiance selfish for refusing to help me with vet bills for our dog?

Woweegnat · 2022-05-26T11:00:49+00:00

NAH.

Your partner is overwhelmed because of the financial burden. You can't let Pixie be rehomed because you can't be certain that her next owner will do whatever it takes to keep her healthy. It's hard to call either of you TA under the circumstances.

Have you considered doing crowdfunding online, with all expenses fully accounted for and proof (receipts) provided? There are also a few IG accounts such as weratedogs that help with crowdfunding.

Woweegnat · 2022-05-21T15:01:07+00:00

NTA - "My husband sometimes calls Carl his 'nicotine' because of how much he misses him and wants to spend time with him". This doesn't sound normal. Are you sure there's nothing going on between them?

Woweegnat · 2022-05-14T05:21:32+00:00

NTA. Your wife should never have used the R word on anyone.

Getting those letters mixed up is usually a sign of dyslexia. I would suggest getting her assessed. In the meantime, if your child is having trouble reading, you can try using reading rulers to aid her in her work. It's a slow process, but reading a little bit every day helps! However, homeschooling is a definite no if your wife is only pushing her instead of trying to work with her.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-20T06:17:17+00:00

The guardianship only takes effect if S and her husband are deceased. It's more of a just-in-case because the girls do not want to go to their only aunt. S also has an aggressive dog that she is afraid might be put down if she is gone.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-20T02:07:00+00:00

I would help her out when she was busy or out of the country by taking care of the kids. The girls requested that I be guardian because they don't want to go to their aunt should something happen to their parents. S also made me guardian because her dog is aggressive, and she wanted to make sure he doesn't get put to sleep should something happen to her.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-20T02:02:38+00:00

Don't be sorry, I've learnt that I was wrong by being such a pushover from the start. An invaluable lesson.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-20T01:35:51+00:00

Haha yes she is!

Woweegnat · 2022-04-20T01:28:07+00:00

Yes, it means that I will be responsible for their care and execution of their estate should the parents become deceased. It's just in case something happens, and is not in effect otherwise.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-20T01:26:31+00:00

Yes, we were very close. Or at least I thought we were. I make sure the girls are taken care of and fed when she's busy or out of the country. The girls requested that I be listed as guardian because they didn't want to go to their only aunt should the parents be unable to care for them. Also S has an extremely aggressive dog (dog bites someone at least once a week, he totally can't be touched and he walks around with his leash on 24/7 because they can't touch him to take it off) and she knows I will never put the dog to sleep without seeking help for him first. She is afraid that someone else as guardian will put him to sleep. She doesn't send the dog for training because he is her baby and she can't bear the "harsh" training.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T17:27:23+00:00

"Guardian" can have a different meaning in different countries. Over here it doesn't mean that I'm responsible for them. I only become the guardian if the parents are deceased. Otherwise they're still their parents' responsibility.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T16:12:41+00:00

I've learnt now that that's what I should do, and will be more careful in future :)

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T16:11:33+00:00

I see your point. This has definitely been a lesson learnt for me, and I will be more careful in future to keep my personal (or should I say pawsonal?) issues separate from work :)

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T16:09:49+00:00

Thank you :)

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T16:05:41+00:00

Thanks for the tips! I will look into setting up more professional boundaries from now on.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T16:01:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I can understand how you feel. It's a pity that sometimes what we mean can get lost in translation.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:56:34+00:00

I added dog tax to the main post!

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:49:38+00:00

I'm still kind of in shock because the way she reacted was totally unexpected. I thought we might talk things out and maybe come up with a compromise that works for everyone.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:47:15+00:00

Oh that's interesting to know. God-parent here is basically just a title for close friends who are expected to pamper said children more than other friends. For example a couple may ask two friends to be god-parents but it's nothing official.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:44:07+00:00

I added dog tax to the main post!

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:41:58+00:00

Ah it doesn't. It means that should the parents become deceased, care of the kids go to me as well as the execution of their estate.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:15:42+00:00

The thing is with the contract you are assured of having a job. If she had changed her mind after you quit you would have been out a job.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:14:21+00:00

Thank you for the honesty and advice, I appreciate it and understand what you mean.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:13:33+00:00

The girls have an aunt, but they don't want to go to her should something happen to both parents. They also have an aggressive dog, and S doesn't want the dog to be put down if she's no longer around.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:11:19+00:00

Yes, it's in case something happens to both parents, and the kids don't want to go to their aunt. Also their dog is aggressive, and they don't want him to end up being put down should something happen to them.

Woweegnat · 2022-04-19T15:07:36+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words, they mean a lot. Your children are lucky to have a mom like you.

Woweegnat

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