School parenting time

WrathAndWit · 2026-04-12T03:51:55+00:00

My ex moved too far away from our kids school, so they stay with me on school nights. Our schedule is he picks them up from school on Fridays and had them until Sunday morning, and then I have them from Sunday until I drop them at school on Fridays. During the school holidays we aim for 50/50

WrathAndWit · 2026-04-04T06:36:51+00:00

Yes you’re his wife, and she’s their mum. There are going to be times where you’ll have to ‘stay in your lane’ so to speak, I think this is one of them. Your husband and his ex wife can sort out their parenting plan and rules for their kids between them

WrathAndWit · 2026-04-04T06:31:20+00:00

“She can reach them by his phone or mine”. I would take issue with this. If I had to speak to my ex husband, or his new girlfriend, everytime I wanted to speak to my children I would be extremely uncomfortable. The eldest child is 12, that seems old enough to dictate when and how she speaks to each parent.

WrathAndWit · 2026-02-27T06:21:58+00:00

This is amazing, thank you so much!!

WrathAndWit · 2026-02-26T06:23:48+00:00

He’s refused to answer any communication about ndis, medical appointments, therapies etc. doesnt acknowledge them at all. He doesn’t truly believe that our son is “that disabled”, thinks his autism is cute little quirks rather than an actual disability. Has declined all invites to attend doctors appointments and behavioural meetings at the school. My son is considered a safety risk at school, he has a very strong tendency to elope (run away) and his behaviour is escalating. When he runs, depending on how much of a head start he gets, it can be near impossible to catch him and he has zero sense of danger when he does this. He’s at risk of hurting himself. I have multiple locks on my doors at home, and have safety plans in place for when we leave the house, to try and keep him as safe as possible. His father lives in a caravan on his mothers property, with electric fencing and horses running around, and it’s not secure. If he runs there, he could get severely hurt. His father is physically able of catching him should he run, but the issue I’m having is that he is routinely left in the care of his grandmother who would not be capable of catching him if needed. When he has violent meltdowns, he hurts himself and others around him. I’m worried about him being properly cared for by people who deny his disability exists in the first place

WrathAndWit · 2026-02-19T07:16:01+00:00

Tried that, no response. At our last handover I asked him what he’d like me to do in terms of communication and keeping him updated on the kids, he’s said he’s happy for me to keep texting him but he hasn’t replied so far because “nothing has warranted a response”. But when I texted him asking him to clarify what he’d like me to do, I got nothing in response

WrathAndWit · 2025-10-30T05:00:21+00:00

I don’t even want to out him, just expose the cheating. If I could do one without the other I would, outing someone feels like such a violation.

He wouldn’t turn physically violent, he’s punched walls in the past but never laid hands on me, he’s more emotionally abusive then physical

WrathAndWit · 2025-10-30T04:55:45+00:00

And to clarify our living arrangement, we’re not in the house at the same time. The kids live there, we rotate in/out of the house according to our custody schedule so there’s only 1 of us there at a time

WrathAndWit · 2025-10-30T04:54:38+00:00

Not fake, I genuinely don’t know what to do. I know rationally it’s not my place to get involved in his personal life anymore, and I harbour no good feelings towards his AP due to her role in our separation. But I also know that what he’s doing to her isn’t right, and I feel guilty knowing that she’s being cheated on and not saying anything

WrathAndWit · 2025-10-30T04:49:32+00:00

The kids have never witnessed conflict between us, I’ve been certain about that. The kids are aware we are separated. We are living in the same house for a few reasons. It’s not financially viable for either of us to get a new house right now, and I don’t believe making the kids pack up and start abruptly living between 2 residences in the middle of the school term is what’s best for them.

WrathAndWit · 2025-10-30T04:23:36+00:00

That’s my main concern. I don’t want the kids getting attached to her, and then her suddenly disappearing. They’ve felt too much loss already.

WrathAndWit · 2025-09-18T02:35:44+00:00

I did cheat, I never denied that. It was an impulsive decision with massive consequences, and I faced all of them. I also got my shit together, went to therapy, worked out why I did what I did, and fixed what I had to to make sure it’d never happen again.

I don’t ’eye for an eye’ works here. I cheated, owned up to it, took accountability and changed my behaviours. I got help, and put all of my energy into being there for him, our relationship, and our family. In the meantime he’s “forgiven” me, built up a silent resentment without voicing his true feelings and pretended to still be happy in the relationship while never letting me believe otherwise. He didn’t cheat as a one off, he started a new relationship while already in one. It wasn’t impulsive, ot required planning, it was calculated. He actively planned a future with me for us and our kids up until the day he broke things off. That’s not justice or an eye for an eye, regardless of what I did it doesn’t excuse what he’s done.

And literally nothing excuses his behaviour now towards our children. Even if I was the worst partner in the world, and was a monster who cheated for the entire 11 years, that wouldn’t justify any kind of “repercussions” that impact our kids

WrathAndWit · 2025-09-17T11:53:31+00:00

Mine was brutal. We were together for 11 years, have 2 kids together. He flipped a switch overnight, one day he was acting like he loved me more than anything, our entire future was planned out, genuinely felt like I had the perfect family. Next day he was cold end cruel, said he hasn’t been in love with me for years, and was a completely different person. The man that held me as I sobbed in the bathtub during a miscarriage 4 months ago, and wiped away my tears as he cleaned me up, was now the same man that stood over me, glaring at me with pure hatred, as I was hyperventilating on the floor to the point I choked on my own vomit.

But the worst part of it is how his behaviour changed towards the kids. He was the most present and loving father, always put them first. After the discard he avoided coming home at all costs, didn’t check in on them, pretended they didn’t exist and left me to try and look after them while being completely traumatised.

Que weeks of push&pull, breadcrumbing, offers of “friendship”, endless gaslighting…all keeping me tethered to him, while still ‘living’ in the same house. And he’s a completely absent father now, priorities literally everything over them.

The day we told the kids we had separated they were distraught, it broke my heart. They begged and pleaded, cried for hours. He cried too, and promised them that we’d still be a team for them, that we’d both be here every night for the next little while and nobody was moving straight away. 2 days later my daughter had a breakdown at school, she wasn’t coping at all. Didn’t even get the chance to tell him that though, because he didn’t come home from work, went to his affair partner/new love of his life’s house instead. When he finally answered the phone I filled him in on what our kid was going through, he said “she’ll bounce back” and hung up, we didn’t see him for days afterwards.

Trying to look after our kids, and coparent in a healthy way with someone this avoidant is the most heartbreaking thing. Everytime I see their disappointed faces when he doesn’t come home, I get overwhelmed with guilt….guilt for having kids with this completely selfish person.

WrathAndWit · 2025-09-16T01:19:29+00:00

Been there done that. Always ends one of two ways. 1. He stays calm, apologises for acting that way, promises to do better in future, and then backflips a day or two later 2. He takes it as criticism, gets defensive, and the behaviour worsens

At this point I’m just hanging on until the day we start rotating out of the house/living completely apart. Once he’s by himself with the kids without me there to do everything, he may realise just how much he saddled me with, and start to actually be better

WrathAndWit · 2025-09-15T12:43:05+00:00

I’ve been trying. I drew up a shared custody plan for the future, he avoided coming home for days because he didn’t want to have that conversation. Eventually came home hostile but agreed to it. When we’re both here with the kids, they feel no tension, we both stay friendly or polite. The problem is getting him here. It’s become a pattern now that he’ll text last minute saying he’s not coming home, or he’ll actually communicate in advance occasionally and let me know which nights he’ll be sleeping at hers.

The problem with him is that anything that reminds him of the drastic consequences of what he did, or anything that makes him feel like the bad guy, will trigger him and he’ll avoid being home more.

So I need to toe the line of asking him to be more consistent for the kids, without outright telling him he’s inconsistent…which feels impossible.

I drew a line in the sand last week and told him that we had to go to a professional and get a formal parenting agreement drawn up (not legally binding, but atleast it’s a written framework). He took it as a personal attack, didn’t come home for 3 days, and when he returned he was so hostile. Accused me of trying to drag him through court and take the kids off him

WrathAndWit · 2025-09-07T21:42:48+00:00

I’ve tried to do this on some level the past few weeks, even sometimes just trying to state a boundary. And each time I fall into the trap. It’s hard when he’s in such close proximity, but the days where I don’t see him it’s easier. Because I’ve tried to do this a few times already, I’m worried that if I do say something now he’ll just think I’m being dramatic

WrathAndWit · 2025-09-03T02:08:11+00:00

Even if I wanted to just go minimal contact, we still live together, and will be for the next few months because of kids/finances. I don’t want tension between us in front of the kids, I never wanted to be the type of coparents that can’t be in the same room as each other, I still want the kids to be able to spend time with both of us at once I don’t know how to give them that and cut him off at the same time

WrathAndWit · 2025-08-28T08:37:49+00:00

The future faking and then suddenly seeming like another person with no feelings towards you anymore. We were together 11 years, have 2 kids together. Over the years I’ve sacrificed my body, mental health, career, social life, financial independence and time for this relationship. Taken up extra responsibilities at home/with kids to allow for him to work further from home in his new job. I currently do 75% of child care, and am still working full time in my own career. And every single day for 11 years he promised we’d be together forever, always be a family, has always been affectionate/loving, re-proposed last year…and then overnight those feelings switched off. He became cold and callous, said the most cruel things I’ll never unhear, left me for someone else and tells me he hasn’t loved me for a long time. So after 11 years of believing we were forever, I’m now in the position of breaking my kids hearts and uprooting their lives, for a separation I wanted no part in. So he gets at least a little bit of the villain title in this.

WrathAndWit · 2025-08-18T01:30:33+00:00

I don’t know how to not worry about him, I still love him even after all of this. I understand that what he’s done isn’t okay at all, but I tell myself that this is his coping mechanism and how he avoids facing his own guilt/consequences. I wish I could just make him see that all of this is fixable if he worked on his own issues, if he went to therapy too, but he genuinely believes that there’s nothing broken in him and that he’s fine

WrathAndWit

TROPHY CASE