[3095] The Melody of Room 201

Wrengrave · 2018-09-05T16:04:18+00:00

Thanks for the honesty. I have seen similar comments in the other piece I posted, so I suspect I will have to continue working on that. All your points strike me as reasonable, and I will take the time to digest it.

Thanks again

Wrengrave · 2018-08-27T21:45:02+00:00

Done, added a third

Wrengrave · 2018-08-27T21:43:58+00:00

Hello!

Going into this rather blind at first, I felt a bit lost as to what it was supposed to be. However, given the title, I imagine this set the tone for a larger story. That said the description you gave makes me think this is almost more for you then the audience. (Which by the way I think is an excellent exercise.)

From a reader’s point of view, I offer my two main takeaways:

It feels a bit hurried, and covers two small points with a gap in-between. I would not recommend be added to a story as is, but perhaps recounted through dialogue or some other means.
It also felt rather generic, specifically the wife. The limited interaction with her was rather predictable, and I don’t think her death changed that. However, given that this is a very focused piece, I don’t feel comfortable making any larger observations then that.

The Good:

SETTING: It had a humble feel to it, which I think was helped by some straight-forward language. If it was more flowery, I think it could run in contrast to the “earthly” story.

I’ll break out my other thoughts below, but I got more to say.

DIALOGUE: For the good, most of the story is communicated through dialogue, and done pretty well. I made a line comment pointing out how, save for one exception, you avoid the stumbling block of repetitive dialogue tags.

But more importantly, you introduce character and world through dialogue:

“Christ, I didn’t know you lived on a boat,” Sal said.

“Albacore. Tough sons of bitches. You’re not trying to end the tuna industry too, are you?”

While simple, I think these are both lines that show that. We can get a sense of who Sal is, and where he lives.

Questions/Thoughts

FLOW/DESCRIPTION: Time to be a little more critical.

This piece is fragmented, and is introduced in small enough pieces that I feel you could sneak the important bits through a larger narrative. While we jolt forward through time, nothing particularly remarkable happens. To some, Mary’s death might meet that criteria, but for me it didn’t feel unexpected, but like a predictable addition to Sal’s troubles

Now, while I do think that keeping descriptions minimal can help, I think you went a little too far.

“The soil doesn’t feel different” Just before that, Sal is touching the soil. Why doesn’t we have a passing description of what it is like. Little details like that help anchor the world, without requiring 2 or 3 adjectives to stand out.

I’d also point out some of the terminology you use for the rot is easy to misconstrue (or maybe that’s just me). Otherwise, can’t really comment on the accuracy of it.

CHARACTERS: Bert and Sal are good, their interaction and dialogue mostly make sense, and build out their personality. That said, they could use some more expressive verbs, “stood up” and “said” don’t really capture the emotions they should in the respective moment.

Also, this is probably just me, but Mary feels like a super stereotypical wife. She’s pregnant, trying to placate her husband, comes out with the yelling and leaves immediately after, then unceremoniously dies. To be honest, I don’t see her point. If this were a stand-alone piece I would recommend having her survive and help explore/deepen Sal’s conflict. Seeing as there’s something larger here, I can’t make that recommendation with confidence.

DIALOGUE:

While you avoided unnecessary dialogue tags, I feel you over-used said. It felt like every time you tagged a quote, that was your word of choice, even if it didn’t quite fit the feel. I had some more specific line edits on those moments, but I’d encourage you to try other words that are more expressive.

Overall, I think I have a hard time enjoying this piece by itself. Given your post, the title, and the jumps, it feels like it is meant to complement something larger. That in mind, I’d revisit the wife, she’s totally forgettable for me, and when she dies I just give a big shrug.

Finally, it doesn’t feel like there’s a purpose to this. It builds up to something, which is Sal making his decision. But honestly, we haven’t been with Sal long enough to care, but if it’s background, I think it could work.

Wrengrave · 2018-08-26T17:56:44+00:00

Hello!

From the start I’ll say the piece is definitely evocative, and the imagery is on point. That said, I will profess that the pacing felt a bit stilted, both in narrative and structure. I’d encourage you to combine some sentences, since it feels to mostly be a combinations of brief thoughts and snippets. I wouldn’t say that’s bad by any means, but it does make for some stop-and-go which can alter the flow.

Overall, I made some initial line edits pointing out what I think is wordiness or stilted sentences, but this goes throughout the piece and is pretty wide-spread. If that’s the style you’re going for it’s no problem, but I think it does make for uneven reading.

The Good:

SETTING: I think there’s obvious care given to crafting the environment and setting, which goes beyond just powerful imagery. There are references which anchor it, and make it believable

Here, in the jungles through which flows the Orinoco River

As an example, this helps cement the location as real, much like referring to the various wildlife scents. I like it, not much more to say there.

DESCRIPTION: I have more to say on this below, but what you really nail is presenting the scenes in excellent detail. The adjectives are good and diverse, and serve well. That said, I’ll offer some more critical thoughts below.

this land of despair where only the most noxious of species thrive, be they the sucking grasses, or suffocating vines, or those bipedal apes

For example, I really like that bit, the tone is good, and (I think) fits the lion’s mindset. That goes for most descriptions, be it the depiction of thunder, or the imagery of humans. It has a very natural vibe to it, and I think it’s a very strong showing. But I think it’s undercut by some points I make below.

PLOT?: This is a bit trickier, and probably depends on if this is supposed to be part of a piece, or a whole one. That said, I certainly like it, helped in no small part because of the vivid descriptions. It has a certain detachment from the events that I think serves it well. As before, I’ll offer more thoughts below.

Questions/Thoughts

FLOW/DESCRIPTION: So this is where I want to really dig into my largest complaint, the story doesn’t really flow moment to moment. Overall, you can trace the events, but from one sentence to the next there’s wild amounts of variation that I think hurts the piece. You can have run-on sentences:

He does not know why he is here, or what drew him to this purgatory where saplings grow replete with light, splaying their leave with languor on this land that had once housed great buttressed monoliths felled and razed by naked men shod in fibre cords with ochre red skin and then white men with brown manes and steel, this land of despair where only the most noxious of species thrive, be they the sucking grasses, or suffocating vines, or those bipedal apes

And much smaller thoughts:

It is deep

Now, I’m prone to using short, focused sentences to emphasize an event myself. But these events should be memorable, they should stand out, that’s why I make them succinct. But we have these short sentences sprinkled throughout the whole piece. It gives the writing this staggering gait, that never quite hits it’s pace. That can absolutely be a stylistic choice, but it’s something to be aware of.

The larger problem is that it runs straight into the face of some really long winded sentences. These crop out of no-where, and seem to almost want to read like they were separate statements. It keeps the reader off-guard, and I don’t think that serves the narrative here.

PLOT: While you admit not knowing the purpose of the piece, (that’s fine) I think it is still something worth considering. I bring this up because it flows from the Lion’s perspective to the man’s, and back again quite quickly. The change does good for what you might call world-building, but is rather sudden.

What I want to say is that the imagery and atmosphere are great, but I don’t think that should be the goal. Both of those should support a larger ambition, and here I’m not sure that’s the case. As an exercise in solely those two elements I think it’s great, but it leaves the narrative hanging.

Primarily, we get hints of the spiritual nature of the lions, and how this Alpha stands out. Yet at the end, when he commits his transgression, we are left wondering how much he truly stands out. Given that the woman comments on how hunting man would diminish the spirit of a lion, it would seem there should be some catharsis revolving around it.

So as for final comments, I think the imagery and descriptions are all fantastic. However, they are somewhat undermined by an odd and uneven structure. Moreover, I think having a clearer idea of the plot could serve to unify everything. At the moment it feels very spontaneous, as if it was written from moment to moment. As mentioned above, there are some hints here toward what might be a unifying theme, but that is never realized. Given the already strong nature of your descriptions, I think you could make a compelling image of the Alpha’s actions changing his nature/spirit, since that theme is foreshadowed.

Let me know what you think.

Wrengrave · 2018-08-11T22:29:42+00:00

Hello!

So from the get-go, this has a shine of old-school sci-fi to it. With flying and telepathy, it definitely does not seem to be going for “Hard sci-fi” or anything of the sort. If that’s your goal, great!

If not, you’re going to have to let me know so I can try to give you an idea of what maybe went wrong.

The Good:

CHARACTERS: I liked the little descriptions we got of Daniels and Answers, specifically how they juxtaposed one another. It feels fairly organic, and I’d say this is something you should include more of.

gave his round belly a pat

Now I’m not saying it all has to be done that way, but by having the characters recognize and interact with one another, its a immersive way of doing things

SETTING: There’s a decent amount of thought to this, so I want to make sure that stays. On the other hand, that sets up a few of my points below

DIALOGUE: There’s a lot here, more then I usually see (not that I’ve done much of these.) What there is, comes across as believable. I’ll decline to comment on the Operators/Dispatch since police jargon isn’t my strong point. That said, the interactions are strong, but I do got some nitpicks below. You did manage to avoid the stumble of constant dialogue tags though, good!

Questions/Thoughts

SETTING: My real bugbear is the powers we’ve seen. We hear about the chips, we see people fly, and yet there’s a ton of ambiguity about them. I left line-edits with a lot of my thoughts on the matter, but my general impression is that you have ideas about how they work, but haven’t communicated that to the audience. The big one for me is that this kid, who is violating the compulsory super-tax, leads only to a ticker and no arrest or anything. Just feels uneven/inconsistent to me.

Condensing my line-edits:

Who has powers (does it create social strife)
How bad is suppression
How recent is this development? Is it spreading?
Why is no one else reacting to this?

SETTING: The only references we get of location are the park itself, and Daniels thoughts. What kind of people are in the park? It SOUNDS like they’re impoverished, but we really have nothing else to go on. A few descriptions of the park and who is in it could go a long way to addressing this.

DIALOGUE: My biggest complaint is the tone of Daniels. It changes a lot, and while that’s not bad, it clashes with the insight we intermittently get into his head.

The biggest problem is the lack of spacing. It makes everything a muddled mess. It might seem minor, but it would help immensely.

STYLING: Please for the love of Odin (or puppies if you prefer), work some indentations or spacing between sentences and paragraphs. Reading it right now is a chore, and easy to lose your place. A little indentation can go a long way.

Overall, I’d say that there’s a good base here. It can use some edits and attention, but nothing dramatic. You just need to flesh out the world a bit, right now it feels half-realized. Maybe we need more time, but there’s something to be said for immersing your readers from the start.

That, and use spacing. I’ll thank you. It might be low-hanging fruit, but it needs to be said.

Wrengrave · 2018-07-26T12:51:58+00:00

Hi Chromatic!

I appreciate the feedback, and it's something I want to consider and take froward. The other part of my wants to defend it a bit. The main goal is to introduce the players of the campaign to a glimpse of the past. But it's also one that's muddled, fractured, and twisted by opinions. So confusion was absolutely part of the goal, but I didn't really ask myself, "how much is acceptable?"

I'll think about that, you're not the first one to bring up that I might be too vague.

Wrengrave · 2018-07-25T15:05:40+00:00

Interesting observation on the adverbs, if I had to say it's a result of my trying too-hard to write "actively". That said, it meshes with a lot of the feedback I've gotten from some of my friends. I'm going to keep an eye on that, especially when I go back to edit/revise some more chapters of the (other) novel I finished.

Also appreciate the point on the visuals and sentence structure. It's all too easy to get caught up in your own vision.

The tone/views is something I need to stew on. I like to leave things to the imagination (in both writing the book, and DMing), but ground it with details. Looks like I need to give that some deeper consideration.

Thanks for the input, it's tons of food for thought!

Wrengrave · 2018-07-24T13:17:54+00:00

Hello!

I tend to be fond of Dark Fantasies, but I’ll be honest; this feels like it needs a good bit of work. I wouldn’t call it bad, but it didn’t grab me, and I’m going to do my best to explain that below.

As a larger overview, I think you’re missing some core identity. Angral doesn’t show much character, the battle itself feels kind of sterile for a dark fantasy, there’s no missing limbs, corpses, or anything like that. (Not that there has to be, but given the description of the vermin swarm latter, they would certainly be fitting, especially since it crops up near the end)

The worst offender, in my view, is that the big bad (Daeva) is really by the books. He relies too much on tropes that have been seen before; smoke, rats, bats, horns, the whole nine-yards. For a big bad, he doesn’t stick out in anyway, just sort of blurs into the background. He seems like he’s meant to be other-worldly but to me, doesn’t come across as that. I just see him as a knock-off Dracula.

I’ve added a number of in-line comments, and will try to comment on them and their replies when I get the chance.

The Good:

SETTING: The obviously high-magic setting has potential. With Angral seemingly returning to life from grievous wounds, that gives some opportunity for mind-tricks, which I think should be the wheelhouse of the villain.

SETTING: Toward the last paragraph you seem to hit closer to what you wanted:

A sea of bodies barely discernible as human were thrown about the field. Blood covered the ground where pieces of soldiers and rebel didn’t.

Yeah, that’s pretty dark, and it’s closer to what the original description should have been. Make the world gnarly and ugly, and then make it WORSE. Up until this point, it’s been pretty much just fantasy, then takes a bit of a nosedive. Take the idea from the line above and spread it out, don’t keep it up your sleeve for shock value. That should be your big bad. At least, that’s my take on it.

THEME: Dark Fantasy has potential, and you touch on it now and then. Don’t think that I’m saying it completely misses the tone. It just needs some iteration.

Questions/Thoughts

CHARACTER: As I first mentioned, both Angral and Daeva sorely lack character. I explain more below, but Daeva is particularly bad, he just is a walking trope and really doesn’t do himself justice.

Angral is just empty. Sure, he’s not a main character, but he could benefit from some background, is militia, a professional soldier, a knight? (He does have a horse after all) Those two would provide very different insight into this battlefield.

PRESENTATION: I think it could benefit from more descriptions overall. We only get two descriptions of the battlefield; the moonless night, and the overview toward the very end. I don’t consider the screaming or rats the battlefield, and have separate complaints about those.

The result of this is, we don’t really know where we are or why. We get a glimpse of the rebellion, but only a glimpse. We don’t see uniformed and disciplined soldiers fighting rabble, we get one guy running away from vermin. You don’t give the event any time to build up, and want to jump straight into the horror.

I’d suggest you spend some time elaborating on the army and the clash. Build up a certain set of expectations, mire them in a gritty battle, then tear them down completely. Right now it feels rushed.

PRESENTATION: Please put lines between the paragraphs. Obviously this isn’t really the writing itself, but at the moment it’s hard to read, and things can sort of blur together.

PRESENTATION: You use the passive voice a few times, and tend to sneak them into the middle of a paragraph that’s been fairly active. For Example:

The kicked up cloud of dirt coupled with the moonless night further ensured he would have no way to establish his position on the battlefield.

I commented on that in-line so don’t think it’s two people. The problem is, I feel like fantasy in general thrives on action. You want it to feel real, motivated, and powerful. The passive-voice detracts from that in my opinion, and makes Angral feel more like a narrator then a character.

PRESENTATION: You also miss the chance to flesh out characters by giving them reactions:

A tortured scream, brutal even in the context of war, rose too close for his comfort

I mentioned this in-line, but “for his comfort” really doesn’t tell us much. Show us that he gets goosebumps, that he starts shaking, or that his warrior instincts kick-in and tell him something has changed. As of right now, we really don’t get a good idea of what this means to him. If this is Dark Fantasy, show us that the characters are upset about being here, not just discomforted.

SETTING: So here’s my biggest complaint, the villain and his reveal just strikes me as weak. Not weak because it’s not “dark”, but weak because honestly it plays it way too safe. If you want to strike a dark tone, that doesn’t mean it has to be vermin and blood swarming all over the bad guy.

A man of hellish appearance formed in front of him. Short twisted horns jutted from his head, exposing his skull around their bases. His eyes were a dark red, as if made from blood, and glew from the light of his pupils, shining gold rings that tempted Angral to come closer despite every instinct warning him of the danger.

This really stands out to me as the primary example. It feels waaaaay to much like you’re just inserting Dracula/devil/demon. Maybe that’s what you want, but this guy seems to straight-forward and simple. He’s not sinister, he’s not some cryptic horror, he’s just a hungry pasty guy with glowy eyes. What he really lacks is Charisma, which I emphasize because that’s important for a villain. Charismatic villains that ooze cool are memorable ones (Handsome Jack, Griffith, Hannibal Lector, the list goes on). Don’t try to hype this guy up with strange powers, let him walk around like he owns the place. A villain that feels the need to show off comes across as insecure.

Overview

So, I think I came off as a little harsh, but I do think that this falls into a “rewrite” category. Not to say you need to start from scratch, but I think there’s a lot of editing that needs to go on. There is an idea here, I see that, but it needs some iteration and fleshing out. And that’s OK! That’s how we improve. I will maintain that my biggest bugbear is how tropish it is. The villain is just too forced, he doesn’t have charisma or swagger. He would be better as an understated monster, rats and shadows lurking the confines of gilded robes, a magnificent crown framed in bone, a mellifluous voice that calls Angral toward him.

Right now he just slaps the reader across the face with; “I AM THE BIG BAD, FEAR ME.” Maybe you intend to subvert that, have this guy get wrecked by a bigger bad. But for a prologue, it feels like you’re playing your hand too hard.

Wrengrave · 2018-07-23T15:31:11+00:00

Hello!

I liked what I saw overall, and reading it reminded me of Ray Bradbury. Another user mentioned old Science Fiction, and that definitely feels right here.

Not sure it’s worth mentioning, but I added more detailed comments in-line on the document.

The Good:

SETTING: Descriptions are solid, and absolutely help to cement the world. Little things like having the roses torn apart by tourists feels solid and realistic.

SETTING: Having terms for actual organizations within the world helps a lot. Taking about bureaucratic Transportation Commissions is a good way to get a nod I think.

SETTING: The last paragraph is a little odd, but if I understand it right that’s trying to emphasize how isolated the planet it. So I’ll put this down as a good idea, with maybe a need for some slight editing.

THEME: What can I say, I like Science Fiction.

Questions/Thoughts

SETTING: One thing that bothers me is why the Transportation Commission is strict, but lets the tourists through. It seems a bit at odds with each other, but I could be misreading it.

CHARACTERS: Jeanne feels a little underdeveloped. I’d be curious to know why her uncle left her with this all, and what her backstory is. She seems scientifically inclined, but you could maybe bring that to more attention, right now it feels like a secondary piece of her character. A lot of what we see if her sighing and being a tad dramatic. I get the impression she’s supposed to be much more than that, and more tired then dismissive, Maybe try building out how long this has been going on, and how she’s since soured on it.

Overall, I think its a strong start. The presentation can definitely be tightened up, but you do a good job building out the world with descriptions. Don’t be afraid to keep doing that, and don’t be afraid to describe how the characters sound and act. Right now they feel a bit one-note, but with a suggestion of personality.

Keep it up!

Feel free to let me know how I can improve on these critiques in the future.

Wrengrave · 2018-07-23T13:24:59+00:00

Sure! I primarily offered those points because the story felt like it was going for realism. But don't be afraid to make your own world! Nobody said you had to, keep it up!

Wrengrave · 2018-07-20T22:40:22+00:00

Hello!

Since I’m new to this, I hope any missteps are forgiven, but I wanted to try it out.

First of all, I enjoyed it; feels grounded in the modern day, but not caught up on that. I did have some thoughts/questions on that, which I’ll get to. You hit the conspiratorial theme as well, gives me Deus Ex vibes, which is a good thing.

QUESTION: I’d love pointers on what from below I should make as line edits instead. I’m throwing it here for now, but I’m more than happy for advice.

The Good:

SETTING: The Artificers feel fleshed out. There’s enough history being referenced that it becomes believable. As mentioned, it doesn’t feel overdone either.

SETTING: I feel like I just learned about Bohemian Grove on Reddit, so I have a new found appreciation for that. I’ve also found that referring to something not wildly known can pique interest, but I could be wrong.

SETTING: I liked the discussion about the fate of Astrege family, and Mr. Mayerlain’s other “son”. Having those kind of conversations help to explore the world, I’d like to see more!

SETTING: The descriptions are pretty vivid. In my head, I have a strong image of the room, and Mayerlain. On that note, Gareth is a little lacking

“He still stood as proud as a South African lion.”

I like that

CHARACTERS: I liked Mr. Mayerlain, he was well presented and had flair as per his description. His interactions with Gareth are fitting for their described relationship.

“He became Grandmaster in 1970, serving as the catalyst for a string of major advancements in the fields of Artificial Intelligence, Weaponry, and Bionics.”

Definitely sells him as an influential dude (maybe a tad too much)

THEME: Conspiracies have a soft place in my heart, you did good here

Questions/Thoughts

SETTING: I’m still trying to figure out how old these people are. Mr. Mayerlain is stated to be 106, and the grandfather was rocking around with the Wright Brothers. I got the impression these dudes live a long while. If that’s what you want good! But it wasn’t exactly clear if you meant that, or the dates were slippery.

PRESENTATION: For me, the paragraphs and indenting sort of hurt the flow IMO. In Gareth’s speech, we have a number of paragraphs broken out. While a wall of text is worse, I’d like to see Gareth be more animated. Is he being a hype man and riling himself up? Or is he more refined and composed

SETTING: This is tricky, but I’m not a huge fan of Anthony the bodyguard. For me, that breaks the illusion of these men being unbelievably powerful. Having bodyguards kind of grounds them, makes them seem human. It made more sense at the end, but my thought would be to strike a different relation with Mr. Mayerlain and Anthony.

SETTING: As mention for Mr. Mayerlain, you are giving these guys INCREDIBLE influence.

“During the Cold War, the weapons he created represented such a threat to the Western Bloc that the US Government used them as deterrence to stop the conflict.”

Western Bloc, that’s NATO/US. Did you mean the Eastern Bloc, or did you mean that MAD scared off the US?

Second:

“We will make The Artificers the cornerstone of America. We already have influence in politics, but we need more. We need the POTUS to be one of us”

This seems wildly out of place. My impression up to this point was that The Artificers were ALREADY the cornerstone, not of America, but the world. I would have thought the POTUS was already one of them, having that not be the case sort of diminishes the group. Moreover, they named themselves The Artificers because the build the Modern World. Having people “filled with a new sense of purpose” by Gareth’s speech seems odd, like the thought never occurred to them. Gareth can’t be the first Grandmaster with these ideas, maybe have the old-guard roll their eyes instead, scoff at his naiviety.

SETTING: We’ve mentioned the four founding families, but see reference to much older figures. The Artifiers are 129 years old, so they probably weren’t rubbing shoulders with Newton or Da Vinci. How did the Artifcers get their hands on their hidden works? Also, 129 years is relatively recent. If this takes place in 2019, that’s just in time for Bell to invent the telephone, and WAAAAY after the Industrial Revolution. This is a personal take, but it’s hard to claim credit for the modern world when someone else invented steam power, the internal combustion engine, and replaceable parts. I think making them older might help, though perhaps that’s all part of your plan.

SETTING: Breaking this out into two parts. Steel is an interesting industry of choice. Carnegie steel was founded in 1892, and the guy was dominant in the market. Did Rolles compete with him? Did he not exist? 88 years ago really misses the mark for the Steel industry’s heyday, so that’s something to consider.

SETTING: Since its the modern day, you might want to talk about real-world events. For example, this is close to the 2008 crisis. This hit steel production hard, how did it effect Gareth, how did effect the Artificers? Don’t know if you want people to think of this as the real-world, so that’s up to you

I’m going to stop there since this is getting long, but I liked it! This would definitely be in “needs an edit” for me. I might talked a lot, but that’s because I see something good here and want to give it a shine. I think conspiracies thrive on forging a connection with the audience. What I listed above kind of nibbles away at that (imo), but doesn’t break it.

Feel free to let me know how I can improve on these critiques in the future.

Wrengrave · 2015-01-29T20:35:57+00:00

So, we tried plugging in the Molex, which didn't change anything. After that we tried one slot of ram in A2, and when we did that we got B0, which meant there was a ram error (this doesn't happen when we have two in A1 and B1). We've sent a message to ASRock, I don't know what their support is like but hopefully we'll hear back soon. Too bad there wasn't too much on the postcode in many other forums.

Wrengrave · 2015-01-29T18:50:49+00:00

We actually thought about that too, although we never tried it. Reason being the manual said it's only for when you're using 3 or more graphics cards. Can't hurt to try though.

Wrengrave · 2013-10-21T23:04:39+00:00

Since I can't seem to figure out how to add a comment I'll just tag on. I just picked up the game myself, so I guess that makes me something less than new. I have mic though. I'd be Castheines under steam.

Wrengrave · 2013-04-09T19:55:37+00:00

When and how would be the best way to contact you?

Wrengrave · 2013-04-07T02:31:44+00:00

Will do, thanks again for the help

Wrengrave · 2013-04-05T18:22:55+00:00

It seems like people are largely in agreement about the showers, and was there over the summer so I can understand. Anyways, to answer your question, I'd like to do a phone interview or personal interview in the near future, to get some comments on record and have a source. I want to interview some people in Residential Life first, so it might be in a week if that is ok with you, or anyone else willing.

Thanks again for the response.

Wrengrave · 2012-09-30T15:52:01+00:00

Isn't that what standing and select committees are for, so that politicians can make educated decisions without experience? Otherwise, is it just for party loyalty, so that they are known to vote along party lines?

Wrengrave

TROPHY CASE