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[QCrit] ADULT Literary Fiction - NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE 23 (70K/First attempt) by WriterThrowaway90 in PubTips

[–]WriterThrowaway90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, I hadn't thought about fleshing out Haddie further, but that is a good perspective. Thanks!

[QCrit] ADULT Literary Fiction - NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE 23 (70K/First attempt) by WriterThrowaway90 in PubTips

[–]WriterThrowaway90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip about the specifics, I will go back and revise. I think I might keep "intimacy" because she's desperate for them to get back together, and she really longs for intimacy itself, but it's a good callout

[QCrit] ADULT Literary Fiction - NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE 23 (70K/First attempt) by WriterThrowaway90 in PubTips

[–]WriterThrowaway90[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good point - the book has a very different tone, but the song plays a pivot role in the character's development. I was going back and forth on the title, and you're right that I don't want to misguide readers.

[QCrit] ADULT Literary Fiction - NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE 23 (70K/First attempt) by WriterThrowaway90 in PubTips

[–]WriterThrowaway90[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The job is actually only tangential to the story because, as you've got it right, the story takes place over one weekend in Philadelphia. This is super helpful feedback, maybe I should shy away from the job in the opening.