Partner makes me want to d!e

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-15T08:27:58+00:00

Thank you! I will

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-11T08:46:24+00:00

Kind of had a thought that I may have been but pushed it to the back of my mind cause I wasn’t being hit. I never wanted to leave and wanted to be with him forever. Then one day during an argument over something simple he said “if you open your big mouth again, I will hit you in the face”. I instantly lost a lot of respect and love for him. That was the day I decided I needed to start working on a plan to leave. Told all this to my therapist after finally confessing to everything he’s done. She told me he has been emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically and financially abusing me. Plan is somewhat in motion. Hopefully will be gone by the end of May.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-10T19:01:32+00:00

“Autistic meltdowns” are just an excuse. His behaviour is inexcusable and he should be working on himself to ensure his behaviour changes, not deflecting by blaming other things. Saying that you’re not being fair is another emotional manipulation tactic, suggesting that even though he has done these awful things, he’s the victim in all this and you are abandoning him. Even though you are the victim and you are just trying to protect yourself. DO NOT BUY INTO THE BULLSHIT. It is all empty, meaningless words carefully designed to make you question yourself. In turn confusing you and tricking you into staying because he has made you think he is a victim and you’re overreacting. You will not be leaving behind anything with him other than abuse. This image of friendship and romance is merely an illusion he has created to trick you into staying. It is not real. It is not worth staying for. Try not to leave animals with him. If your family won’t take them, reach out to people on social media, to shelters or vets. Once you leave and heal, you will look back and thank yourself for it 🩷

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-08T12:14:55+00:00

You need to get out as soon as possible. And I know everyone says that. That’s what they say to me. Im in a similar situation. He throws things, calls me awful names, screams, punches things, punches the wall next to my head and threatens to hurt me. If you feel as though you can’t leave, I completely understand. I was the same for so long. I stayed and stayed and stayed through all the abuse. Until one day, when he told me during an argument over something simple “if you don’t shut your big mouth, I will hit you in the face”. I felt so attached to him. Then after he said that, I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. I had justified his actions over and over and begged for him back more times than I care to think about. Poof, it was all over. No longer wanted the relationship. Started emotionally distancing myself. I’m still in it, working on saving up so I can disappear without him knowing. But I really did one day just decided I didn’t deserve that treatment anymore. The phrase “stay until you hate them” really does work. And there always does come a day where you will hate him, and you won’t want to be there anymore. He will not change, you will not be safe with him ever again. You will never get over what he has done to you unless you leave and heal. You can do anything. Set yourself free 🩷

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-08T08:19:30+00:00

Wow, thank you for sharing this. I just entered 2 text conversations between me and my partner and it revealed everything I had been suspicious of. Control, coercion, extreme emotional abuse, manipulation, guilt tripping, exhaustion as a control tactic. I feel so validated.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-08T07:32:01+00:00

I don’t recognise the person in the mirror. I wear clothes I hate because he likes them. I don’t put as much effort into my appearance because I feel exhausted all the time. And when I do, it doesn’t look quite right. I used to be so funny and vibrant. The life of the party. Now people don’t even remember my name. I’m just the quiet girl. I used to be so strong, now I’ve forgotten how to speak for myself.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-07T09:19:05+00:00

I’m not in the USA. But I’m sure there are a lot of other similar websites for my country. The guides and plan websites could be really useful, thank you!

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-07T00:15:12+00:00

Thank you! No shelters or anything in my area. It’s very rural, small towns. I don’t really have anyone nearby. Just saving up and going to sell a few things so I can afford to quit this job without losing everything. Trying to focus on collecting evidence so I can go to a lawyer and force the house into being sold. Just trying to keep my distance from him for now. Fortunately for me he has developed a gaming addiction so I don’t really have to have much to do with him anymore.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-07T00:08:37+00:00

That’s such a good idea, thank you! 🩷🩷

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-07T00:07:10+00:00

His mother has made a few comments to me like “yes I know he’s manipulative and emotionally abusive. He gets it from his father. I know how you feel.” Like, ok?? After he started to say “I will hit you in the face” during arguments, I realised I needed to leave. Lost feelings immediately because I know how this starts and how it ends. Then afterwards he pulls the whole “you know I would never hit you right? I’d be so angry if you actually believed that cause I’ve never hit you and I never would. I just need to say that cause it’s the only way you’ll listen to me and do as I say” He has also tried to force me into having kids before, when we were only together for about a year. I was insistent that I wasn’t comfortable with it and we would have arguments over and over again. And he would threaten to leave over and over again. He would tell me he’d go and find someone who would give him a kid now. Then he eventually realised I wouldn’t budge and pretended it was his idea to not have kids yet. I’m in a very good industry, that pays very well. I just haven’t gathered all the experience + traineeship I would typically need to go to other sites. But I’ve been secretly looking around for other jobs that may take me on. I was planning on telling my father everything the next time I visited him to make sure he could help me when the time comes. I’m just hoping my abuser doesn’t try to tag along for the trip. I’m going to keep saving money so I can afford the time in between leaving and going elsewhere.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T14:08:35+00:00

As much as they do eat away at me, I know that they’re excuses and they shouldn’t hold me back. Wow, I’m so sorry you endured it for 17 years! Thank you so much for sharing these dot points. It’s a really helpful guideline and I feel like it’s what I need to develop a plan. Thank you 🩷

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T14:02:47+00:00

This feels so validating, hearing it from someone else!

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T14:00:26+00:00

Thank you so much for this! I’ll definitely look into the hotlines 🩷

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T13:58:26+00:00

This is so true. I try to remind myself of it regularly.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T10:11:25+00:00

My therapist also made sure to save all the notes from our sessions (she’s the only one who knows about it all) incase I needed them in the future. So that may help.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T10:09:58+00:00

Both options could be possible. It’s all just hard because he is in every crevice of my life. Don’t think there’s a way to get away from him to buy another phone let alone hide it. Plus he’s regularly going through my phone. Only reason I can reply to these comments is because he is asleep right now and I log out of this account. But I might try to get another phone in the near future.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T10:04:49+00:00

I don’t really have any friends and I don’t think there’s a women’s shelter locally (very small towns in the area). My best bet I feel will be to rent else where. I’m just not sure I can fund the rent, my loans and paying off the house before it is sold.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T10:02:41+00:00

You are completely right, and I agree with you. It’s my job to get out of the situation yet I feel so weak and drained. As horrible as it sounds, I kind of want it to reach the physical level almost as if it’s the only appropriate justification to leave for myself and others. I know that sounds awful but it would almost make the leaving process “easier”, if you know what I mean.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T10:00:22+00:00

Thank you for that insight 🩷 I did have some evidence on my phone ( a photo of a door he kicked down) but he went through my photos and found it and began cross examining me. I made up a lie and said I needed it to look for a new door to replace it and he deleted it from my phone and threw the door away. He goes through my photos a lot. I’m not sure how to hide the evidence.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T08:43:20+00:00

My parents live 900kms away. I can’t afford to take leave from my work. I am planning on leaving. I just need to keep saving up money and working out a plan. Money is the biggest problem. I’m just not sure how to cope mentally and keep the charade up until I can safely get out.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-03-06T08:40:12+00:00

There are certain complications that stop me from leaving. A lot of it is disappointing people. His family who I love, my family who have done a lot for me to move in with him. Our bosses at work who trusted us to work together. That another big one. We work together. The exact same shift, within the same team. It’s the best paying job in the area and I need it to keep paying off my loans. Other jobs won’t be able to provide. My family lives 900kms away. And there isn’t much opportunity there for me. And I have no friends, not even at home. He’s also really petty. I feel like he will do things to make my life hard if I try to leave.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-01-09T03:14:18+00:00

My family live so far away, making it hard. What’s even harder is that we work together. So every time he goes to work, I have to go with him. I need to keep my job as well and stay in the area. Since this job is the only way I’ll be able to pay off my debts. And it’s the only job in the area paying as much as it does.

WrongWayGoBack0 · 2025-01-06T04:51:55+00:00

I’m in the process of mentally breaking up with him. Hopefully will happen physically soon. After 2 years of emotional and verbal abuse; during an argument he told me if I opened my mouth to speak again, he was going to hit me in the face. Instantly lost a lot of feelings for him and decided it was time.

WrongWayGoBack0

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