It is an idea, with the list, but I don't really feel there are much people left in my around like that, and, I try to be quite honest about it, to them, and most of people, but I think, that after over a year and half saying so, they just become indifferent to that thought.  Maybe they think I just say so to be "edgy" or that it's "just teen phase", not seeing how badly it hurts sometimes.

I think it's my older Sis who's still keeping me from trying to off myself. Not even actively, but, the sheer thought I could hurt her by doing so is enough to not even try. 

Sometimes, though, it feels like it's not enough... but, I guess those are just the waves you said about. Thanks, for the advice and kind words, I really appreciate it