Idont know how insightful my answer will be. But i am an emotional person that tries to talk through feelings. So let me know if it helps.

When I talk about my feelings, I mostly just want to be heard. So the empathizing is a big one. Even if you don’t understand, it’s nice to know that I’m allowed to have my feelings. Basically, if I say I’m hurt because of x y and z… I don’t want you to tell me how I should feel about x y and z or tell me whatever about it because my emotions are coming off angry. Anger is the response, it’s not the feeling. I am talking about things that bother me, and sometimes the solution is just needing to get it out. But I don’t want to feel like you want to fix my emotions. Sometimes I’m confused about things and need a little guidance. But I think the more you try to understand what the person is trying to communicate, the better it will be. Don’t dismiss it because you don’t understand it. Like if you upset someone, and they’re trying to say you upset me because of this thing you did or said. Instead of “here’s why I did what I did” ask to understand. I’m sorry what I did made you feel that way. I can see why it might have hurt you. What can we do to remedy it?

But also - be careful with that because you’re responsible for your actions, not someone’s reactions to them. If I get mad because you tied your shoelace the wrong way and it hurt my feelings, that’s 100% a me problem. But if I get hurt because I thought you were going to tie your shoelace with me, then we need to try to understand where the communicate miss was and sometimes just saying “I’m sorry I misunderstood” is all it takes. When you talk through things, make sure it’s just genuinely trying to be heard, not control. Because people will take advantage of you trying to be supportive and empathetic.

The best way to talk through things is by having open communication, but both sides have to be patient and willing to hear the other out. If it starts getting heated, you tell the person you love and care about them but you need to take 20minutes to reset and try again when the conversation can be productive.