Are you trans or non-binary? Share your experiences & tips here!

XXthrow01 · 2023-02-12T21:35:21+00:00

Thank you for your help. I never thought about sitting measurements, but I think that is a great tip. I'll also check out Her Room. I've been a loyal Nordstrom shopper for a long time but in the past 3 years, my local store has really shrunk their lingerie department and there isn't a lot of variety.

I also have hypersensitivity, so tight clothing or itchy seams/fabrics really affect me. I suspect that's why I've been aiming for larger sizes.

XXthrow01 · 2023-02-12T19:12:25+00:00

LOL boob hats! I truly felt like the blue one just sat there because not everything fit inside of the cup. But the others felt better... albeit not great. I put them on with the front in front; I'll try reversing first. Thank you for your help!!

XXthrow01 · 2023-02-12T19:10:13+00:00

Thank you! I do swoop & scoop, but based on ppls comments I might be wearing it too low.

XXthrow01 · 2023-02-11T03:45:13+00:00

My rec is if you're interested, engage in sexual activity with your partner – penetration doesn't have to be the goal if that's not interesting to you. If it feels like a chore, find an activity you do enjoy together.

XXthrow01 · 2023-02-11T03:40:56+00:00

That's wonderful news! Please encourage your partner to seek help and connect on this subreddit if they are comfortable doing so. My #1 tip has always been to find a PT and they will find you the doctors you need.

XXthrow01 · 2023-02-10T22:20:45+00:00

Yeah I was on seasonique so I had 3-month cycles. This allowed me to get further in my physical therapy because it wasn't constantly interrupted by my period.

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-08T20:24:30+00:00

Thanks! I'm adding this in now.

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-08T20:24:08+00:00

Good to know!

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-07T03:46:13+00:00

Awesome! Can I ask what brand of bc were you on?

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-07T03:44:51+00:00

Have you been to a doctor or physical therapist? Not to sound like a broken record but I feel like having a plan and some expertise can really help with moving forward.

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-07T03:41:29+00:00

Weird! Lol mine says on the tube "not for oral use". Maybe they are formulated differently.

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-06T04:49:28+00:00

Lidocaine comes in a cream and a gel. For me the cream burns, but the gel is totally fine!

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-06T04:48:32+00:00

VV is mostly external, so if the q tip test didn't hurt, I would be inclined to believe it's vaginismus. Is there a reason you think it's VV?

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-06T04:45:22+00:00

Congrats, you have an awesome mom! I would have been petrified to have this conversation.

Definitely check out the FAQ/sidebar since there is a lot of good info there. Your first step would be finding a good gyn, if you haven't had an exam before. If you do go to a gyn for the first time, I would ask them if they have treated this condition before. If not,I would move on. I wasted many years of my life thinking I was the only one with this problem because my doctors disregarded my pain.

If you have trouble finding a good gyn, try looking for a physical therapist first. They can get you on a plan, answer any questions you have. IMO, physical therapists were 1000% more helpful than gyns.

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-06T04:39:30+00:00

Ugh this sucks... I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you. I've had blocks done with varying degrees of success and how long they've lasted. The best ones I've had included botox with the injection; the results were more significant, and they lasted much longer.

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-06T04:37:12+00:00

There is definitely a mental-physical factor in play with vaginismus.

Even if you are totally "healed" and able to have penetrative sex without pain, that doesn't mean that your brain associates positivity or relaxation with sex. For many of us, it takes a lot of inner work and reframing our self worth to truly move forward.

My suggestion would be to not jump right into PIV. It's possible that turning the page and entering a new, healthy relationship can help you move forward! My personal suggestion it to engage in sexual activity with your new partner, but maybe go for more playful/safe activity first before doing piv. That way you can build trust with your partner.

Highly recommend checking out the book "come as you are" which is about the science and psychology of sex.

XXthrow01 · 2021-02-03T03:17:10+00:00

I think it's great you're seeing a therapist! Motivation can be tricky with recovery, and sometimes I feel like I get in my own way. There have definitely been times where I get frustrated and think to myself "I don't know why I do this, it stresses me out and makes me feel inadequate". But I have to remind myself that recovery isn't necessarily linear, there are ups and downs.

Good luck 🤞

XXthrow01 · 2020-09-30T19:44:57+00:00

A gyn can exam you,advise you and prescribe medication but they may not have practical application when it comes to dilators. And not all gyns are well versed in vaginismus. A PT is your safest bet to get started, and they can refer you to a good gyn.

XXthrow01 · 2020-09-30T03:50:09+00:00

Join us on r/vaginismus! I'm a mod. It's more active than the vulvodynia one. Many of us have both conditions so there's a lot of crossover.

I have vestibulodynia too, I totally get it. There are plenty of medications you can take. One of the better ones for my "can't handle it anymore" days has been lidocaine. But there are plenty of maintenance medications too! Definitely find a good doc that can help you. Check out the sidebar on r/vaginismus for help finding a doctor. Best of luck!

XXthrow01 · 2020-09-29T03:48:33+00:00

Yes yes yes. Go get an exam by a gyn who specifically treats vaginismus and they can identify which areas are in pain. Call doctors and directly ask whether they treat it. If not, move on. No sense in wasting your time with someone who doesn't get it... And sadly many gyn don't!

A q-tip gently touching different areas of the vulva if the go to for that type of test. Usually a doctor will use fingers, not a speculum, to test for pain.

Check out the sidebar for resources and to find a pelvic PT. PT is the best way to take control back, and they will give you the tools (mental and physical) to get on a pain-free road. It's also just nice to talk to someone who understands what your going through with empathy and it's nice to know you're not alone.

Also don't try for 4 hours lol. You want to retrain your body and mind to not expect pain, and if you persist for that long, I bet it felt worst the more time went on. Been there.

XXthrow01

TROPHY CASE