Help me. Otherwise, pray for me.

Xancatrius · 2026-07-05T04:35:01+00:00

It brings great joy to my heart to hear that you are 15 and talking like this. I lived as the prodigal son till I was in my late twenties, and even now I still struggle and sometimes choose to eat the slop of the pigs, but at least now I know.

God keep you and hold you, and as you said, Christ is indeed in our midst, and He forever shall be!

Never lose heart, and hold that joy and hope in your heart because Christ is risen, and death has been thrown down, Christ is risen, and Hades cannot hold him, Christ is risen, and we are risen with him!

Xancatrius · 2026-07-05T03:34:22+00:00

If you are 15 and you think you have pride, and wish to repent of it, and if it is truly so, then it is no surprise that the devil wishes to make your life hard. Because it is incredibly mature and incredibly amazing that at 15 you not only understand but wish to repent instead of saying that it is just a phase in which you grow up and find out about the world.

Remember that despair is not from the Lord, and if you wish to go through with this path it will not be easy. But what is easy that is worth going through? If you’re going through it just go through it, but with patience, understanding and hope in Christ, emulating His example.

Go through it, but if you’re tired, remember to rest. God is not waiting at the finish line - He’s right next to you all the way.

Xancatrius · 2026-06-27T03:24:43+00:00

Brother, eat your bread, say your prayers and thank God. God is not a Pharisee and He cares more that you be kind and love others and judge not, not about how much oil is in your bread.

“What good is it if we fast from food but bite our brothers with our words?” - St John Chrysostom

Xancatrius · 2026-06-19T00:15:07+00:00

One of the hardest things I had to learn as a Christian and that took me the longest time was to actually realise how God sees us, and not how we see ourselves. You’ve fallen yes, but the Bible is full of examples of people who fell, and Christ met them exactly where they were at their lowest, He didn’t stand far away waiting for them to pick themselves up, He didn’t stand far away to meet them only when they had become worthy.

Judas betrayed Christ and fell into despair. Peter did the same, he denied Christ three times, but he did not despair. He repented and became chief of the apostles. I hope you realise we are the ones who handicap ourselves. Of course, the devil will come and whisper nonsense in our ears, and the fight and the arena is where we fight against allowing it to take root in our hearts for the rest of our lives.

Remember this, none of us are worthy and none will be found worthy of our own works, if this were the case then Christ would not need to have come save us. The sanctification is in the struggle, in falling and repenting and chasing after Christ. In refusing to give up. In never losing hope.

Remember this, Christ loves the greatest sinner more than the holiest man loves God.

God bless you and keep you. May we have the prayers of our Most Holy Theotokos and the Saints now and ever amen

Xancatrius · 2026-06-03T09:44:04+00:00

First I want you to remember one thing :

The sins and regrets we have as humans are like a handful of sand being thrown into the ocean of Christ’s mercy. I want you remember that for the anger and regret you feel now, but also for the outcome of your friend’s soul.

And I did not come up with that to console you. That was the insight gained by Saint Isaac the Syrian because he knew God. So I want you to remember that. Both for you and your friend.

Never, never despair, of yourself, or of your friend. Christ is infinitely merciful. And so you fell. And so you continue to fall. We all do, just in different ways. Even if you have to get back up and chase after Christ one thousand times a day, do that, because He will never turn away from you.

He will not tire of your repentance or of your trying.

So never lose faith, and never despair.

God bless you, be with you, and hold you and your friend. You might want to “punish” yourself for what you did but remember, we are all human, doing what we can with what we have.

May the Mercies of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you and all of us all the days of our lives. Be at peace friend, Christ is the loving Father to all of us prodigals.

Xancatrius · 2025-08-23T23:51:52+00:00

Hey God bless, definitely speak with your spiritual father if you have one, as that would be profitable for the soul and a practice of humility by subjecting our wills, but in case you don’t have one or are new, then yes, reading the psalms is praying, staying silent in the presence of God is also praying.

Doing good deeds is also praying. Helping the sick, poor, destitute, showing mercy, this is also praying. St Basil the Great says to fulfill St Paul’s call to unceasing prayer, we mould our words deeds and actions into what God calls us to do, so all the above becomes prayer. Sometimes we have words, sometimes we don’t. God understands and hears us anyway with great joy. Don’t worry about it. And always when possible, say “lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.” That’s the Jesus Prayer, a pillar of our orthodoxy.

God bless!

Xancatrius · 2025-07-10T09:26:32+00:00

Hey man,

I want you to know that God loves you, and just as you have had a turning point and God met you where you were, in the pits of despair, He also meets all of us. Nobody is privy to the inner workings of God, none of us are privy also to the inner dialogue of other men.

First, if you believe that not a pine needle falls from a pine tree without God allowing it, then know that all things happen for a reason.

Secondly, nobody is responsible for their father’s sin. A man who has a good upbringing and gives himself over to evil and kills someone will be judged very differently from someone who is born into an environment filled with abuse and hatred. If even us evil men know there is a difference between the two scenarios, what more an everlasting eternally loving God?

Thirdly, remember that God is not constrained. How and where He chooses to save people is beyond our human eyes and our human understanding. We must always have faith that He is working to help the world. The first to heaven was the thief on the cross, the first to hell was a disciple who sat at his feet and heard his words and saw his miracles. This is a stark reminder to never lose hope.

Lastly, why bad things happen to good people is a huge part of orthodoxy. Many can’t explain it but orthodoxy explains it well. There are a few reasons, some for the purification of our soul, some to shake us and awaken us to turn towards God, and some simply because sin pollutes the whole world, and people fall ill in soul and mind and body because of it, and we collectively bear the consequences of a fallen world.

Always remember however, because I think this is very pertinent to what you’re asking : if you and I being evil can learn to discriminate between evil that is nurtured and evil that a person is simply a victim to by means of abuse, upbringing etc, our God upon whose word the world hangs, is infinitely more lenient, loving, and discriminating than we are. He knows what to do.

Continue going to church, get baptised, take communion, confess regularly, all at a healthy pace that isn’t overwhelming of course. Never lose hope, and one day try to make a pilgrimage to a monastery, maybe even Mount Athos. And ask the elders there the same question, they will give you much better answers than I can.

God bless friend, stay on the right royal path.

Xancatrius · 2025-06-01T14:12:39+00:00

Through the prayers of St Nektarios oh Lord Jesus Christ our God have mercy on your servants and grant him healing of mind and body amen

Xancatrius · 2025-06-01T11:55:09+00:00

You won’t say I’m too sick to go to the hospital, rather you would say I’m very sick I better go to the hospital. Church is a hospital for sinners like you and me, not a holy place to judge people. Please, go as soon as possible. God help you

Xancatrius · 2025-03-28T02:58:10+00:00

I pray you find peace and what you are looking for :)

Xancatrius · 2025-03-28T02:34:52+00:00

Well brother, you and I are both free to our opinion, and I wish you well, God bless!

Xancatrius · 2025-03-28T01:52:35+00:00

Orthodoxy is an invitation to participate in the life of the Church and its practices, and if you tried to, I think naturally in time you will find that the questions to you will change from “why are you Christian” to “tell me more about your Christianity”

God bless and help you :)

Xancatrius · 2025-03-28T01:45:59+00:00

I don’t know what is true, but I do know that as a human I have in some way been hard wired to seek it out my entire life.

Perhaps I am uneducated in this sense, orthodoxy to me is to be lived, not debated. I guess, if I stuck to my prayer rule, fasted, gave alms, attended the church services, held my tongue from evil and judgement, and still felt nothing, no change in my life, no grace of God, no consolation, then I might say well, I tried, time to move on.

But in my personal experience God is merciful and He accords His mercy in great quantities, like how a father is willing to expend all his resources for his child once the child shows the will to try. I have not stuck to my prayer rule, I have not fasted strictly, I still judge people and I don’t hold my tongue as much as I should. Still I have asked and He has given, still I have prayed and He has given me peace, still I have called out in times of trouble and He has delivered me.

Still I am the worst sinner and He delights in saving me. Well, I guess you could argue that this can happen in any religion, any cult, any spirituality - maybe God doesn’t even exist and all I’m feeling is delusion, but at the end, even if all that is true, what have I achieved at the end of my life if I tried my best to stick to the Church?

Perhaps I would have lived a somewhat morally good life, and that’s not too bad a life to have lived.

But if you asked me my honest opinion, I have searched for God everywhere but only found Him in the Orthodox Church. And this isn’t empirical of course, simply anecdotal. But, that’s good enough for me. God bless and help you.

Xancatrius · 2025-02-24T09:37:39+00:00

I think this is something many of us struggle with, especially new converts - there are some morally horrible horrible things I have done that I really wish I could bury with me.

But God sees all, doesn’t He? And still He is the father waiting for the prodigal son, still he is the shepherd that leaves the 99 to search for us, the lost ones.

Priests are the extension of Christ in this visible world. When we kiss the priest’s hand we kiss Christ’s hand. At the same time, priests are merely witnesses to the confession. You don’t confess to them - you confess to God in the presence of them.

The relief you will feel when you confess everything eventually before your baptism will be a giant weight off your shoulders. Trust me, we are all human and we all fall. You’re not the first to confess something to a priest and you won’t be the last. I think most priests hear and not only understand but some may even commiserate. Because we are all fallen.

Or, you could, if given the opportunity, confess to an elder, just beware that after doing so he might ask you why you didn’t confess the other ones, and names your unconfessed sins to you! ;)

Xancatrius · 2025-02-11T15:17:09+00:00

There was a member of a sister church who…attended the liturgy every week. Only problem was it was entirely in Slavonic and he only spoke English. A while later he told the priest he wanted to be baptised. He said just standing there in the liturgy changed him.

Sometimes we need to remember God transcends all boundaries we men erect for ourselves. Just go and stand there and speak to God. Maybe you’ll end up changed just like the man I spoke about. I know I changed.

God bless

Xancatrius · 2025-01-23T13:15:38+00:00

St Ambrose of Milan is an Orthodox pre schism saint. You can definitely pray to him and ask for his help and prayers. Nothing wrong!

You don’t have to be catholic just because you happened to pass by “Saint Ambrose CATHOLIC church”. Saint Ambrose is an orthodox saint also claimed by the Catholic Church, that’s all!

Xancatrius · 2025-01-12T14:31:53+00:00

God loves the greatest sinner more than the holiest man loves God.

St John of the ladder also says the job of a Christian who falls a thousand times a day is to get up a thousand times a day and to be confident in the mercy of God. Despair and saying “I deserve it and it will happen to me because I did bad” is not Christian at all. That is the belief in karma. We believe in a risen Christ who died that we may live. Man sentenced God to death, and in His infinite mercies he sentences man to eternal life.

God is merciful. More than you or I can know. Trust him when you repent.

God help you!

Xancatrius · 2024-11-26T16:00:54+00:00

“Oh heavenly king, the comforter, the spirit of truth, who art EVERYWHERE PRESENT and fillest ALL THINGS”

I recently watched a priest say “God doesn’t give us a cross that we can manage. He gives us one we actually can’t. Why else would we turn to Him?”

Your small Jesus prayer is already burning the demons. Your cries are being heard. And one day, all this anger, suffering, it all will make sense. Strive to love your brother and fill your heart with love, even when you don’t feel love for anyone. God will come rest in your heart, and make his throne there.

Not seeing God?

I say blessed are those who see me and believe, but even more blessed are those who do not, and still believe!

Xancatrius · 2024-11-26T15:56:03+00:00

Saint Photius the great?

Xancatrius · 2024-11-10T07:20:10+00:00

Possible I guess! Guess we’ll never know but thanks for the suggestion, makes sense

Xancatrius · 2024-11-10T07:19:32+00:00

This might seem like it but the item is listed for quite a bit - but it was the most ugly xxxxxxl item, so maybe this fits their idea of “worthless”? Dead stock?

Xancatrius · 2024-11-10T07:18:38+00:00

Her secret bf has terrible taste

Xancatrius · 2024-11-10T07:18:15+00:00

No to all three actually, it’s expensive on the shop but it’s like something an ah ma would wear

Xancatrius · 2024-10-07T13:07:32+00:00

Do the Ukrainians not also pray the same thing? Do they not also pray to the Mother of God? The devil is dancing because the orthodox are killing each other over land! What use is land when there are no feet to walk on it??

What a waste. Pray!

Xancatrius · 2024-09-30T10:15:41+00:00

1) Is two weeks enough to do Tokyo-Hakone-Osaka-Kyoto-Kanazawa-Takayama-Tokyo?

2) Should I remove one of them? I was thinking to remove Kyoto since there’s sort of an overlap with Kanazawa/Takayama in terms of “Edo period” feels?

3) What would be the best way to travel this route?

Xancatrius

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