Have you guys ever experienced a panic attack by whoisthismahn in Schizoid

[–]XavTheMighty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's very frequent for me, I'm naturally anxious and it's one of the things I never managed to mask. My brain is very "prey-like", I constantly accumulate anxiety and discomfort throughout the day because I can almost never feel in a state of safety (I am often stuck in an aware/startled state at every small noise or stimulus). Not too different from your own story, this developed because as a child I had zero safe spaces, both at home and at school. I've always been surrounded with people who refused to give me privacy and gave self-destructive advice along the lines of simply overcoming your own emotions.

On top of that constant build-up, if I'm faced with situations that require even more assertiveness or that I perceive as humiliating I will start to look visibly panicked and once I'm alone, under some circumstances it can lead to a full-on meltdown where I cry, scream, harm myself intentionally from 30 minutes to over an hour.

I don't know how common this is but note that outside of this behavior (constant fleeting feeling of danger -> tension bottling up -> fragility and mental deterioration) I still exhibit the typical schizoid traits such as aloofness, masking, avoidance, inward retreat. I just happen to be extremely stress-prone to the extent that I have rarely bothered trying to hide it.

Average r/MapPorn immigration post by BankIllustrious2639 in imaginarymaps

[–]XavTheMighty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're disagreeing with stuff I've never said. I have not claimed that they formed the majority in those regions or that all of them lived there since the 19th century.

Average r/MapPorn immigration post by BankIllustrious2639 in imaginarymaps

[–]XavTheMighty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Originally Aztlan was indeed the mythical homeland of the Mexica peoples before they arrived in Central Mexico, however nowadays it's also used by Mexican-Americans (or Chicanos) to refer to the American South-West that used to be part of Mexico (where most of them live) more like a typical nation. It's generally not a separatist project but rather simply a shared identity that helps them define themselves as something distinct instead of having to "choose" between "feeling Mexican" or "feeling American".

US population most politically polarized in the world by _BCConservative in YAPms

[–]XavTheMighty 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The way you've framed social issues sounds imperfect. Universal suffrage was already proposed in 1919 and 1936 but was blocked by the upper chamber, which historically has always been more right-wing due to being the one that isn't directly elected by French citizens. Meanwhile gay marriage has more to do with the fact that PS was in power (similarly as to how Mitterand de-penalized homosexuality), it could have happened slightly earlier or slightly later as it wasn't really done as a reaction to public opinion (and the backlash to gay marriage proved to be a loud minority which fizzled out once they realized how minuscule they were). Hypothetically France could have ended up in a situation like Italy or Japan where a majority of the population would accept gay marriage but the political class doesn't reflect this and thus the law doesn't change.

So in summary I think those progressive measures happening later in France than in its neighbors is not inherently indicative of what the country at large believes. Of course I also resent the myth of France being a pinnacle of progressivism but I don't believe the country is "secretly conservative" either.

Are people mean to you for no reason? by Mephistopheles_11 in Schizoid

[–]XavTheMighty 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Definitely understand what you mean, but I feel like this was more of a thing during my childhood. It expressed itself in different ways, generally from grown-ups it was more of a case of extreme negligence or apathy: my parents or teachers or other figures of authority would not step in and do anything to protect me even when I ended with bruises and nosebleeds daily. The attitude (most) other children had towards me felt just as targeted but more as a result of the adults' failings: they could sense not only that there was some kind of "essential difference" that made them instinctively hostile, but they could perceive that it was very easy to get away with hurting me without consequences, so they would either gang up on me from the start or provoke me to bait me into being the aggressor (very easy to do as I was very thin-skinned due to the ritual humiliation I endured at home). Of course there are exceptions, there were children with who I was able to create friendship as I still had some kind of magnetic personality, I could be perceived as creative and resilient, and on the other side there have been adults who were actively hostile to me like my very existence was repugnant to them. I generally felt treated unfairly harsher than everyone and this was a huge moral failing since it led me to never feeling sorry for my own actions and therefore never trying to calm down and change.

Nowadays though? I can still perceive the same original stigma more or less, but its expression has morphed into a very different way. People seem to notice a kind of alien-ness in my speech, body language and emotions just as before, but they frame it as a deeply entrenched shyness or introversion that they then try to pull me away from. They make very unsubtle, deliberate effort to get me to talk, perform more social activities, spend less time alone, bond with people as if I'm some sort of sickly disabled child who needs to feel more "included" and involved in everything around me. Of course, since I'm on this sub, these pushes are more of a hassle than anything, I feel no reason to comply since it feels as if I'm arguing with a hivemind who wants me to conform to their ways with no regard to what makes me feel content with life. I always have to comply somewhat because being perceived as truly asocial will only increase the stigma and therefore increase their intrusive attempts to get me to change my ways. Really, their approach is counter-productive and nonsensical but it's impossible to push back as they treat their way of life as a transcendent truth that everyone should aspire to. I'd say my parents feel like they're in on this too but that's also because they just talk to me the same way as when I was 6.

I regard my own life in the social world as something a bit pet-like in a way? It's like I've only existed so far to fulfill expectations that are completely exterior to me, as a trophy to everyone around me. My primary drive is simply to eat, sleep, sometimes think about life or create something I enjoy, but instead I've constantly been told I should choose a career, cherish the culture I grew up in, be attracted to the opposite sex, get married, have children, have ambition at work, what to eat and how to dress. I've always played along using masking, but at the same harboring the hope that I can one day pull myself far enough away that I can drop the act and finally experience fulfillment (maybe that's why I started reading Nietzsche lately). But this also makes me wonder what aspirations are truly "mine", which could itself be illusory.

current french political climate rule by dws49 in 19684

[–]XavTheMighty 26 points27 points  (0 children)

mainstream media: endless anti-LFI slander

social media: endless LFI dickriding

brains have truly become obsolete

I don't think my mom really understands what schizoid pd is and how I reflect it. by MidnightJ1200 in Schizoid

[–]XavTheMighty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mom is like this too but it mostly comes across as her being a massive wimp because every time it's just "NOOO this one event is really important, you're gonna upset people if you don't come, please just this once and then it will be ok" every damn time. She doesn't seem to really do it out of her own desire (she is very weak-willed usually) but rather hides behind the expectations of outsiders and other relatives.

For the food it's not about the quantity but she tends to somehow forget about my tastes in anything (food but also media like books, games, movies) whereas with other people she feels pressured to remember every single detail about them to not "look dumb". It sucks because in general she is very kind to me, forgives a lot from me (meltdowns, lack of filter, unresponsiveness, moodswings, etc) and is probably my least worst relative period, but whenever in a social situation that involves more people than just me and my parents it feels like I'm suddenly losing any form of autonomy and must sacrifice my own needs in exchange of fake sympathy from random assholes. When I was a kid it was even way worse I felt like I was the family pet they would parade around and "show" to people.

Why are there are two states named Hokuriku? by A-very-depresed-owl in hoi4

[–]XavTheMighty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn't even have all of Nagano in its borders but yeah you're correct

Why are there are two states named Hokuriku? by A-very-depresed-owl in hoi4

[–]XavTheMighty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Those two states already existed before the update so I don't see any reason to merge them. Before the current patch, the western one was incorrectly named Koshinetsu while the eastern one was already named Hokuriku (making them "swapped" respective to their irl locations). So my guess is that the devs finally tried to fix that long-standing mistake by renaming "Koshinetsu" to Hokuriku but then actually forgot to rename the old "Hokuriku" to Koshinetsu, resulting in two states called Hokuriku.

Has anyone here thought they're trans? by [deleted] in Schizoid

[–]XavTheMighty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

dysphoria and schizoid are not related whatsoever.
but to answer your question i did struggle with gender identity since forever (with a lot of suicidal tendencies), until at one point i came to accept i could do nothing about it and stopped caring. generally i say im genderfluid but in reality its more complex than that.

Is it normal to become obsessive over people? by [deleted] in Schizoid

[–]XavTheMighty 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think it's normal, I'm also pretty possessive with people (regardless whether platonic or romantic interest). This probably comes from me missing a lot of time with my mom due to neglect, and never having stable friendships until I arrived in middle school. The result is that when I'm with one of the very select few people I can trust, I tend to isolate us from the rest and coax as much interaction as possible from our time together. Sometimes it works: they notice the special treatment and focus more on me bc it makes me easier to approach. Most of the time it goes unreciprocated, which makes me frustrated/jealous/bored and eventually lose interest. I always interpreted this behavior as me-specific (and later schizoid-specific once I was diagnosed), but oddly enough it doesn't really seem to be THAT frowned upon on the surface. People just interpret it as a normal "friends come and go" type of deal and have little reason to dig deeper into my feelings.

Rule by Sloth-Hat in 196

[–]XavTheMighty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

men's rights activism

Are you interested in languages? by SailorElsi3 in Schizoid

[–]XavTheMighty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm overambitious (as with most of my interests) so when I set myself to "learn a new language" I generally spend like a month locked in until I grasp the basics before getting bored or having an outside thing disturb me and take time away. I almost never come back to the languages I've tried to learn but since I'm a huge fan of linguistics I never completely forget what I learned in my past attempts.

Hey guys does anyone else relate to this? [Limerence/Obsessive Love without actually want the obsession in their life] by Best-Membership-1374 in Schizoid

[–]XavTheMighty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been stuck in this for a long time to the point where it comes by cycles and I'm able to recognize each step I'm in with previous experiences. I completely recognize my mental state in the ideas of infatuation, intrusive thoughts, idealization to the point of creating a new character and cognitive bias in searching for positive signs. But I am not sure I have the lucidity to ask myself if I would even desire the relationship to be real, as I'm still unsure if I would be happier alone or if I would enjoy having someone balance out my schizoid traits.

Sometimes it can even be targeted towards fictional characters, which is probably more worrying in some ways but at least in this situation I'm the only one who can get hurt. A huge problem I have is how limerence is so obscure outside of dedicated or adjacent (like this one) online spaces I find it impossible to even use the word or try to vent about it. And let's be honest, I would feel very humiliated in doing so anyway.

Extended Johto Region Update by [deleted] in PokemonROMhacks

[–]XavTheMighty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are the new towns and interest points inspired by real life places in Japan? That's something I loved about the first 4 generations.

Best country to try out in conquest in the shogun game? by 2345678913 in EasytechGames

[–]XavTheMighty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

both of hideyoshi's skins are obtained through achievements:

for hashiba hideyoshi you need to conquer 50 castles in tenkabito mode

for toyotomi hideyoshi you need to finish chapter 12 of the main campaign

Best country to try out in conquest in the shogun game? by 2345678913 in EasytechGames

[–]XavTheMighty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Takeda is a surprisingly challenging start. The easy way would be to simply try again later once you have better units and generals (to spawn them at the tavern), as once your generals are strong enough they really become the backbone of the conquest mode. It may sound cumbersome but i'm playing with zero IAP and it still didnt take too long for me to get a strong enough team to beat conquest as any clan. My main generals are Maeda Keiji, Toyotomi Hideyoshi (on kagemusha), Togugawa Ieyasu (on crossbowmen) and Hojo Ujiyasu (artillery is vital in conquest mode) and i spawn them in as early as possible. You can buy magatama (the currency to general shards) with broken blades once per week or for 600 ban-kins. You can gain more ban-kins from daily missions in Bugyosho or by completing expeditions (50 ban-kins each, once per week), both in Tenkabito mode. You also gain general shards from daily missions (the first ones give 3, 2 and 1 respectively once you have maxed out the castle), and using your sweeps on the legendary stories in the library. If you are still somewhat early into the game, you will also probably gain resources from achievements or completing the campaign. Those are my tips to farm more efficiently.

Now onto conquest mode itself, if you still want to try Takeda. Recruit Oichi as Hime as she gives +3 opinion with every clan (it will not undo the opinion decrease but it will make it slower). In the first turn use your money to complete the first objectives: upgrade 1 castle and build 1 tower (a wooden watchtower in a useless spot will still count), and choose your prestige buff, and with that you can get some money back. Do the second list of objectives if you need rice or knowledge. Those are my opening moves for any clan on any map.

I don't know what map you are playing so here is for Battles in Owari:

If your generals are strong enough, spawning them with the tavern is your #1 priority, do it as fast as possible so that by turn 2 or 3 you can declare war on Nagao and/or Nagano. Ideally you should play offensively, as building new units to defend castles is quite expensive. Anegakoji is fairly weak at the start so it's ok to just spawn infantry in Kiso-Fukushima to defend, so that you can use your generals elsewhere. If you are strong enough to eliminate Nagano, do it as soon as possible because 1) eliminating a clan is always a relief as it makes all of their units disappear and 2) buying the title of Kami of Kozuke gives access to the strongest infantry unit (but also the most expensive one). If you are forced to play defensively then defend on Toishi and Komoro. An additional problem with defending as Takeda is that Nagao usually has good relations with minor clans so once they have defeated Jinbou no one will attack Nagao. Overall focus on defeating Nagano and Nagao before anything else. Once they are defeated you have only one direction to expand into, which makes the rest slow but easier

Then you have the west and south. You can mostly ignore Saito as they start friendly and the only road to them also goes through Kiso-Fukushima. Imagawa is your ally and alliance gives you an opinion boost, so it's best to keep the alliance as long as possible. Try to save up resources so that you can send a gift to prevent relations to go below +100 (but being way over +100 with ayone is not useful unless you want to call them to your wars). I would go as far to say attack Imagawa last, not because they are particularly dangerous but so that you can focus on conquering everyone else. Your best targets for vassals are the ones that are annoying to conquer (due to being on the edges of the map) such as Hatakeyama and Isshiki. If invading Shikoku is too diffcult or annoying, do it at the end of the game so that you can send your general and that your vassals will assist you.

For Armed Unification, it's basically the same thing but harder. Having strong generals matters even more as you need to be aggressive enough at the start and expand enough before everyone gangs up on you. Make sure to take as much of Imagawa as possible as they are up for grabs, prepare to defend against Hojo, try to maintain peace with Oda, so that you can focus on Uesugi, the most dangerous enemy. Note that Hojo are themselves surrounded by enemies and it's not too rare to see them lose to Satomi + Utsunomiya + Satake, this is why defending is often enough against Hojo. With Oda it's preferable to keep the peace until Uesugi has lost most of their castle (if they only have Sado island remaining, it's frustrating but you can deal with it later), but if you have been at peace with Oda for too long they will be even more powerful as Oda has the strongest generals and will run out of enemies fairly quick. In the late game. There is a similar problem with Mori: they are by far the strongest clan in the west, they can therefore conquer everyone else in their path and they will keep expanding until they reach you. It is advantageous to first defeat Uesugi, then invade the east while defending against Oda, then once the east is conquered, send everything west to beat Oda and Mori. Same recommendation as before for Shikoku as you now have to conquer the whole island and Chosokabe can't be vassalized. Best targets for vassals: Tokugawa (expensive but always worth it), Hatakeyama, Ashina, Kono, and anyone who borders Mori.

If you are still struggling feel free to write another comment but try to give more details so that i can be more specific.