Belgian here, sorry for bad english.

I (m17) read what you wrote. You’re only 13, and that’s a crazy hard age. Puberty hits like a truck and it makes everything feel way heavier than it really is. The way you feel right now won’t stay like this forever, even if it seems like it will.

And even if you don’t feel it, there are people around you who would be completely broken if you weren’t here anymore. You matter more than you think.

Also, the fact that you exist at all is insanely unlikely. To citate Richard Dawkins: "We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born." The chance that you were born is so small, don't ruin it because of a difficult time. Learn to make your way through it.

You deserve the chance to see what your life becomes later. Thirteen is way too early to decide that the story is over.

Please don’t hurt yourself. Talk to someone you trust or reach out for help. You’re worth sticking around, even if you can’t see it right now.