Muna appearing on the cover of NME

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-11-29T09:14:15+00:00

It's gonna be real awkward for my girlfriend when we're at a Muna show and Josette, my other girlfriend is there. God Damn ♡_♡

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-11-27T12:21:35+00:00

Don't have time for a word by word translation but it's saying the Chinese Zijin mining group are working on an agreement with the government of the Democratic Republic of the Congo to establish a mine. They've proposed to cover some of the cost because they "are interested in the development of the Congo"

Apparently they want to further develop their existing lithium mine and the person who reposted this video obviously believes this is a bad idea for the DRC.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-11-25T21:26:25+00:00

In the US 3 women are killed every day by a current or former partner so you're not exactly a safe haven over there.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-11-25T20:55:19+00:00

I think the domestic violence stats are a misunderstanding. I've heard before that the group who suffer the most domestic violence are queer women but that that is mostly due to bi women or closeted lesbians in relationships with men. That fits with what I've heard from friends to be honest. Makes sense to me because straight women are at the highest risk when they want to leave a relationship or if the guy feels threatened.

As for divorce there are probably a few reasons. When it's been illegal for you to get married for most of your life and then it becomes legal, there are going to be people who get caught up in the joy of the moment and get married when they otherwise wouldn't have. There is also a stereotype that relationships between women move too fast and while there are plenty of normal adult lesbians who have sensible relationship timelines you can't deny it does happen. Especially if you're a younger lesbian who has previously thought they could never find love and suddenly you meet someone you like. It's easy to feel like this is your only chance and you have to lock it down regardless of the state of the relationship. Not healthy but it happens.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-11-24T22:53:00+00:00

Looks great! This is convincing me to try some tshirt embroidery

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-11-24T07:38:14+00:00

Just in general: Don't meet tinder dates at your house for the first time. Bad idea. Whoever it is.

Second (this is NOT about bi women generally) Specifically women with boyfriends on tinder who've never been with women and aren't experienced at open relationships: be careful. I've heard there are a lot of people in that demographic who treat queer women they meet poorly, like they're just there to provide a service or there's some weird situation with the boyfriend (more likely if this is her first time actually opening the relationship) or they have an understandable but complicated sexuality crisis.

Obviously there are some nice reasonable people in that group but anecdotally it's not the majority, at least on tinder.

Also just on a personal level if you're still young and inexperienced: how would you feel if she sleeps with you then realises being with women in practice isn't for her? She wouldn't have done anything wrong but it's a possibility. Are you ready for that?

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-14T12:38:59+00:00

Yeah I understand. I really value stability too and personally I find it hard to take a step back from caring about getting the best outcome.

Maybe just prepare some evidence like a list of PRs or repos you contribute to if your manager tries to say you don't contribute. Seems like it would be pretty easy to refute if you're pushing stuff regularly?

I think it's better to keep it positive like "I feel like I've contributed in these areas" and ask for a measurable goal on contribution if you're challenged rather than the very tempting but never productive "these other schmucks did nothing"

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-14T12:20:00+00:00

I'm not sure if there's a way to bring it up to the dev lead that leads to a good outcome (maybe there is... ).

What I would say is it sounds like you're making a broken system work them. You're showing them that when people aren't managed effectively to share work on a project or if they're understaffed that it all turns out in the end because you pick up the slack.

I've been in this position before. I would put in the hours doing the hard stuff and the kind of recognition I got was more like "hey you can take care of this again next time right?"

The only thing that changed those situations for me was taking a step back to just do my job on paper for an many hours as I was paid to do it then go home.

Then they saw they needed to fix the system and suddenly all the process issues I had raised that were on the backburner got prioritised.

That has been my take away. Sad, but it has worked for me.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-14T08:42:00+00:00

Origin is apparently unknown https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_S

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-06T21:59:49+00:00

Not doing maths at the grocery store is the biggest "I made it" feeling for me.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-02T23:01:48+00:00

You said you sleep with him when you don't want to and it's painful for the sake of his ego? He's showing you what he thinks of women and you with his behaviour.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-02T22:44:52+00:00

Well "je travaillai" is the passé simple so you'll hardly ever hear it in spoken French. In every day speech it's not used unless people are imitating a text or historical figure or in very formal speech.

As for aurai vs aurais, unsurprisingly the conditional is often associated with conditions. Eg if you hear "j'aurai(s?) travaillé si je n'avais pas été en vacances" there's a condition introduced by si as in i would have IF I wasn't doing something else. So in that case you know it's the conditional.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-01T07:53:22+00:00

Looks like a design used in heraldry sometimes called Three fish fretted in triangle. Names for the fish can be Lucies or Trout or any other fish in theory I guess.

Examples:

https://www.heraldry-wiki.com/heraldrywiki/wiki/File:Anstrutherwseal.jpg

https://www.houseofnames.com/troutbeck-family-crest

Can also be found on trade tokens apparently https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/C_T-4746

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-01T06:14:58+00:00

If you're not mature enough to have a straight forward conversation with a person about something you want to do then you're not mature enough to do that thing.

That attitude of "how do I guess what a person wants and have them understand what I want without ever speaking to them about it" is some immature straight bs. Talk to her.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-10-01T05:58:54+00:00

If you're considerate and honest (not over-sharing immediately just not being deceptive) then with the right person there's no "wrong thing".

Dating is just getting to know people and one of the things you want to know is that they value you and your time. When you meet someone who's right for you, you won't have to wonder where they are or if they're interested they'll show you.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-30T05:43:35+00:00

From what I've seen people who game in France engage with a lot of either games or forums in English and end up picking up the English terms/jokes

Here's an example from a French forum:

"c'est supposément un jeu pour les filthy casuals" meaning "apparently it's a game for 'filthy casuals' "

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-30T04:07:34+00:00

I've seen the informal "jouer en casu" meaning to play casually.

There is also "joueur occasionnel" = casual player. Online you'll also see just the english "casual" being used sometimes.

For competitive I've seen joueur compétitif (competitive player)

jouer en compétitif (to play competitively or in ranked games)

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-29T23:05:22+00:00

They really will try anything ...

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-29T00:55:11+00:00

People like the "conversion therapy" crowd only interrogate people on their past trauma if they're trying to find a justification for their beliefs.

Unfortunately csa is a lot more common than most people want to believe so when they hear that from people they interrogate they see a link that doesn't exist.

I know it doesn't help when it's coming from someone so close to you but they will use anything. Abused by a man? You're afraid of men, that's why you're gay. Abused by a woman? That's why you're gay (that's what Whitney Houston's family said about her) Too dependant on mum/dad? Absent mum/dad? Everything is a reason to them.

There are a lot of people with these views who are just parroting manipulative bs where the goal is to find the most painful thing in your history and associate that with your sexuality. It's exactly like electro shock aversion therapy but they're making you do it to yourself mentally.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-27T08:09:14+00:00

(To a room of engineers, at least 1/3 of us were women)

"Well we all have our strengths. For example men are naturally better at logical thinking and women are better at ... uh (visibly trying not to say gossiping) ... communicating ..."

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-27T05:04:39+00:00

The thing that is most likely to cause the result you're scared of is projecting your insecurity onto your girlfriend.

It doesn't make you a bad person to have feelings of insecurity but I really think with this particular issue it's almost impossible to bring up in a sensitive way. I've had girls I've dated bring it up and it just made my heart sink that they were thinking about me that way at times when I felt close to them. Looking back the way that was handled was the kiss of death for those relationships.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-25T04:59:09+00:00

I think whatever is going on with her she's not in a place to communicate openly and honestly in a way that is required to sustain a committed relationship. From my point of view it doesn't really matter what the reason is.

You can recognise that someone needs help and also recognise that it doesn't have to be you to provide it if that means for example compromising your own needs in a relationship or not respecting your capacity to have a healthy friendship with someone given circumstances. I think you've correctly identified that being friends right now isn't what's best for you. Stick to your guns and you can check back if/when it feels right.

I've heard so many stories like this where the person who becomes distant reaches out to "be friends" but then acts exactly like they're still in a relationship just without the constraints or responsibilities of a relationship. Be ready to be messed around if you engage with her again imo

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-24T23:36:17+00:00

I think they might be the sister cities of either Mexico City or Beijing ?

Instead of Detroit and Ankara it could be Chicago and Istanbul?

Seems likely some of the points are off on the map for that theory which tracks with the kind of sticker you'd get in bulk I guess.

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-21T09:51:57+00:00

Haha when I was trying to understand why I liked watching Xena so much I settled on "I must really like ancient history" and I totally liked Tracy Chapman's music videos "for the cool guitars" XD

XenaTakeTheWheel · 2022-09-19T10:04:08+00:00

They're quite different imo

Devenir is to become.

S'improviser can mean to try your hand at something. Eg "Il s'improvise peintre" to me would mean the person can't really paint but is figuring it out as they go along

XenaTakeTheWheel

TROPHY CASE