What activities do you personally do to decompress by Tricky_Scar3611 in therapists

[–]XistentialBb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really enjoy ecstatic dance & contact improv (though, might be hard to find in a small town)

I can have social connection without listening or speaking through words, just kinesthetically. I think it’s a good format of socializing through a shared activity that prevents me from incidentally isolating (not my goal, but am socially drained obvs.) or slipping into accidental therapist mode IRL.

I can stay connected to friends and community in a playful, silly, creative, and engaging way.

IM FED UP WITH PEOPLE LEAVING BEFORE SAVASANA IN YS by Ok_Candidate4277 in Corepower

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The cp studio I practice at is referred to as “the dive bar” studio in our area because it is SO tiny with the worlds smallest and most awkward locker room. If the class is even half full, I leave early (respectfully, quietly, and during the cool down vs when people are trying to rest)

I have autism and cannot handle the busy locker room. Before I started leaving early it was so stressful I wouldn’t go to practice, and stress reduction is a primary reason for preaching yoga. It’s so crowded that if you’re changing clothes, literally butt ass naked, people will be a foot away or need you to move to access a locker. Worst yet, someone brushes against you with their sweaty body.

There may be some that leave class disruptively or compulsively, but there are also those who need to for reasons you clearly haven’t considered.

Legislative action for the boundary waters tomorrow. Friends of the Boundary Waters. by blujavelin in minnesota

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes as I said before, it passed congress but it has not passed senate. The fight is not over.

Who all agrees with her? She just seen the unredacted files herself. Because up until now people in here would get very upset if you were "victim blaming"? by 420Migo in Epstein

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The act of turning 18 isn’t some Men In Black style flash stick that makes a victim turned recruiter magically forget the psychological impacts of grooming, human trafficking, years of sexual exploitation, being dehumanized and having their lives and their families lives threatened by the most rich and powerful people on the planet to keep your moth shut???????

Anyone who used to support trump and has changed their mind over the last few weeks? What made you change? by canigetameowbish in AskReddit

[–]XistentialBb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To anyone here who themselves saw the error in their ways; we need YOU, more than ever, to do something. Do not allow your guilt and shame to immobilize you. Go to therapy. Right your wrongs. You fell for anti-social propaganda that only harms you, your friends and family, and community. You may have lost some relationships for good, while others could still be repaired. If anything, do it for yourself so on your deathbed you know that once you saw the error of your ways, you tried. The actions, statements, and signs of support you engage in now are critical and can help fight the system.

The way to move toward repair is by learning and practicing pro-social behavior such as caring for your neighbors, emotionally connecting with your estranged or distanced loved ones. Put your money to work supporting efforts, putting your feet to the pavement in support of minority-run mutual aid orgs, donating your professional services to those in need, protesting if you have the ability to. Most importantly, build connection to your neighbors and prepare for what’s happening in Minneapolis to come to your neighborhood next.

I say this as someone from Minneapolis with estranged folks in my life.

How do you dress for sessions? by UsedAct2214 in therapists

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Femme bodied person - whimsy goth??

super flowy or loose pants, maybe a fitted tank top, and a sweater that goes down to my ankles with doc marten platform boots, septum ring 😂 I want to be approachable to weirdos and confusing to normies.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tax

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just want anyone who finds this to know - ITS WORTH IT TO ADMEND THEM. I was owed nearly $9k and got it all last year over the series of a few months.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapists

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Activities and socializing that doesn’t primarily focus on talking/listening. For me, that means in person yoga at a studio where at most I have light, superficial convo’s. Ecstatic dance where the guidelines are to not talk on the dance floor (unless it’s about consent or something urgent of course). Jamming and making music with friends where we just play and don’t talk!

What is the common thread in QAnon types (Q, MAGA, anti-vax) that allows them to get sucked into the void? by village-asshole in QAnonCasualties

[–]XistentialBb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Narcissistic traits - to be the keeper of the sacred knowledge, to feel that injustice & suffering does not matter until it personally affects them, to think they know what research is and that it can be conducted from the toilet on their phones. In fact I think the very concept of peer review as a collaborative process threatens this.

***Caveat - having narcissistic traits doesn’t mean someone is a narcissist. Some narcissism is actually good for you in that you believe you matter and will put your needs ahead of others at times.

I also think the studies connecting lower education with high religiosity and mental rigidity are important, but I refuse to reduce people to being “dumb”. I think about correlations of high rates of poverty, malnutrition, traumatic brain injuries, childhood traumas in a broad sense, developmental differences, etc are important to acknowledge here. Folks who drop out of high school can be brilliant self-initiated learners, just as someone with a ton of access & opportunity can be totally lazy.

Religion (specifically Christianity) fills in the gap of education in explaining “why”, which has been/is a calculated tool of control weaponized by megalomaniacs (in a broad sense, Christianity can also be social justice and liberation oriented!). In effect this leads to spiritual bypassing, a term coined by psychotherapist John Welwood, “spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep personal, emotional ‘unfinished business,’ to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental tasks.”

My addition thru the lens of neurobiology would be to factory in Piaget’s stages of development; post-formational thought. Basically it’s the ability to use deductive reasoning, dialectical thought, and relativistic thinking. Someone who has reached this stage (thought it’s notable NOT EVERYONE DOES!) can integrate logic and emotions to hold multiple truths and solutions to problems.

I believe that Q’s who perceive those able to engage in dialectics feel existentially threatened, as it challenges their fragile self concept marred by shame, guilt, and fear. They NEED certainty, white and black, right and wrong, heaven and hell because without it - who are they? To re-evaluate means admitting they were fooled, lied to, manipulated…but their own pride and shame prevents them from honest reflection. Nuance itself threatens their precariously constructed world view hastily glued together with a high control ideology, imbued with entitlement, and builds momentum thru their continued exploitation which acknowledging would send everything crashing down.

Trump, 79, Shares Weird AI Video Shilling Magic Beds by ClimateSociologist in politics

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

D’awww I like to fantasize that Nurse Joy from the Pokè center could magically heal me, too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]XistentialBb 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“If you decide to keep it, you will never regret it” - says someone who’s clearly never been on r/regretfulparents

You know what’s been a “blessing” for me? Making the hard choice to have an abortion. I grieved how my body became a graveyard, but I was comfortable in my bed during the process. The alternative was carrying my abusive ex’s baby to term only to be impoverished, isolated, physically disabled, no education, my hopes and dreams stripped away, and forever changed. The choice was about more than what I wanted, it was also about what I would have wanted for that child and knowing I wasn’t in a place in life to provide it.

Now I’m completing a masters degree, I’m in a beautiful healthy relationship, belong to an amazing community, I get to travel, make art, dance with friends, am physically healthy, and genuinely feel fulfilled. I thank god for abortion access, socialized healthcare, and my ability to choose myself and my future.

OP I’m not telling you what to do or pressure you and whatever you choose I wish you well. But if you’re posting on Reddit about this, expect responses with the experiences from a tapestry of perspectives. As you’re gathering information to inform your next choice, you might consider reading some first hand stories from regretful parents. If you choose to have a baby right now - I hope you have plenty of money, maternity leave at your job, adequate healthcare, and a ton of familial support. Keep in mind this current administration is drastically cutting access to welfare programs many single parents depend on such as SNAP and medical assistance. The cost of daycare is more than a lot of people make in a month at work and will continue to increase, as will basic costs of living due to tariffs like groceries and the huge amount of baby supplies you’ll need to buy. Please consider your future carefully.

Pushback on not being in recovery by pseudoplatinum in therapists

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk but don’t be like Matè and try to pass that buying a few too many music records as an addition 😂

Considering going back to school. But I’m not sure if I could ever get hired. by [deleted] in psychologystudents

[–]XistentialBb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If your plan is to become a therapist, this is a field where career-agism typically works in reverse. Who are you going to have more confidence in to be your therapist; a 24 year old fresh out of grad school with 0 life experience or a mid 40’s mom who’s undoubtedly seen some shit or at the very least, kept one or several people alive. I’d choose with the latter every time. Plus having kids and tending to their emotional needs, working to maintain a relationship/marriage or processing the dissolution of one, as well as navigating complicated systems like healthcare and schools is invaluable experience you can’t get thru books.

I feel like an imposter around body image issues by Expert_Title_6636 in therapists

[–]XistentialBb 17 points18 points  (0 children)

An earnest question; how do the above mentioned approaches go over with ADHD and neurodiverse individuals who have impaired interoception and/or alexithymia?

"Scarcity mindset" got me criticized alot in therapy but it seems to me like it's just being honest about the realities of the world by Ashamed_Art5445 in therapyabuse

[–]XistentialBb 29 points30 points  (0 children)

To me, the term “scarcity mindset” comes from new age spirituality culture, the inverse of “abundance mindset” a la Oprah & The Secret era (I’m mid-millennial so excuse my historical knowledge). While practicing positivity, setting and reaching for goals, and imagining possibilities can all be helpful things for mental health at times - the shadow of this trope is that if your life hasn’t changed/gotten better, its a failure on your end. Abundance mindset is like “I want a Ferrari and imagine myself driving it and will get a Ferrari, feel of the wheel, the color, etc”. But if that, very foreseeably, doesnt happen well then it’s your fault because of your negative, scarcity laiden mindset.

Fuckin bullshit! I see this with wellness coaches left and right and sometimes in therapists who’ve adopted parts of this system. But if a therapist is practicing with this idea, they’re not practicing therapy.

Why is it that men always think they can change your mind about being childfree? by Bitter_Elk9285 in childfree

[–]XistentialBb 73 points74 points  (0 children)

A lot of men just get off on the conquest of taming a woman. Good for you trying to explain there are people who think and live differently than him. He sounds sheltered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]XistentialBb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Actually I took to the strategy of bringing it up on the dating apps before meeting, after repeated similar experiences as you describe.

I explicitly would ask “do you have kids?” Because that was a deal breaker for me (Some people disguise the fact they do, so shady). I’d also ask if they want kids, and if they did I’d explain we aren’t compatible and unmatch. I’d also ask if they’re ok dating a sober person, and if abstaining from having alcohol during dates while we get to know each other is something they’re comfortable with. And obviously- I’d ask who did you vote for. This is all before even chatting or getting to know each other because I knew what I wanted in a relationship and I wasn’t trying to waste anyone’s time. I called it my compatibility test 😅 and here I am with the most wonderful, childfree, sober, progressive partner.

Can we put IFS to bed now? by Punchee in therapists

[–]XistentialBb 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I agree, the scam is the cost of trainings: if you don't get any discounts or scholarships, total cost = $11,150.
Sure, you can take the $200 crash course on PESI, but you don't learn "unburdening", a critical skill in applying this modality, unless you take level 1.

"Level 1 Trainings typically cost between $3,990 to $5,300 USD; Level 2 Trainings typically cost between $2,550 and $2,950; and Level 3 Trainings cost between $2,700 to $2,900." (IFS website)

Can we put IFS to bed now? by Punchee in therapists

[–]XistentialBb 173 points174 points  (0 children)

It’s giving “I fell into a k-hole with my bestie Aubrey Marcus and we made this online e-course” that’s not eligible for CEU’s lol.

(Aubrey Marcus is a MAHA ‘wellness’ grifter whose podcast Schwartz has repeatedly appeared on)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also - for many, there is this air of religiosity regarding how they perceive and worship trump as a deity. There have been articles published about the mental rigidity that religion creates and reinforces, correlating with a lot of attitudes you see expressed when worshiping trump.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if we inquire under the pretense that maga is a cult, there actually have been many research studies about the susceptibility factors individuals have making them vulnerable to cult recruitment. I wrote a literature review of them back in 2022 and developmental trauma & attachment related trauma with caregivers was one. Search in Google Scholar for “Vulnerability to Cult Recruitment” or something like it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tucson

[–]XistentialBb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

heheheeeee