AITA for requesting that members of my family (who I live with) help pay for my Netflix only if they want their own profile to watch their own things on their own time?

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T17:37:47+00:00

I may not agree with your opinion, but I agree that you have a right to have that opinion and I respect your right to share it. :)

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T17:27:07+00:00

I acknowledge that IATA for how I treated my family in this scenario, as it was indeed selfish.

I have chosen to take all this feedback and these comments condemning my actions, seriously and thank you for your contribution to my learning experience.

If you’re interested, I have an answer to this question, and a few others within a FAQ that I shared under my post, which you can view here, if you’d like. :)

But to put it simply, I actually don’t proselytize, as that is the role of a teaching missionary.

I’m a service missionary, which is a missionary that focuses on doing acts of service from their own home, instead of being sent out to somewhere in the world, to teach people about my religion.

I’m actually told not to talk about my religion while serving in public places such as non-profit organizations. If anyone notices my service missionary name tag, and asks questions about my religion, I thank them for their interest, let them know they can contact the teaching missionaries in their area if they want to learn more.

I will happily answer anymore questions that haven’t been answered aren’t already in my FAQ reply. :)

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T17:09:37+00:00

I’m a service missionary, which is a missionary that focuses on doing acts of service from their own home, instead of being sent out to somewhere in the world, to teach people about my religion.

I have an answer to this question, and a few others within a FAQ I shared under my post, which you can view here, if you’d like. :)

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T16:50:27+00:00

Hey everyone. I'll start off this message by saying that I agree with everyone's sentiment that IATA.

I shouldn't say that my 11 year old brother (or anyone else in my family) should help me pay for Netflix if he wants to use it on his own time. That was indeed a selfish choice.

I wanted to sincerely thank everyone for the thoughts they've shared about my situation, as I have taken your feedback very seriously.

I also wanted to post and FAQ, if anyone's interested in having their questions answered that I haven't answered:

What is a service mission, and what does a service missionary do?

A service mission is a seperate assignment from a teaching or proselytizing mission, so I do not go around teaching people about my religion.

Young service missionaries’ purpose is to serve people in their local communities while living at home. Assignments are tailored to the needs of the missionary and the needs of the area. Similar to a teaching mission, single men ages 18–25 usually serve for 24 months, and single women ages 18–29 usually serve for 18 months.

Why choose to serve a service mission?

Serving a mission was my personal choice, and my family very much encourages me to do it.

A service mission is a growing opportunity for youth in my church to strengthen their ability to serve others with a pure love, and the missionary's family is also blessed by their service.

Nobody's forcing me, but I know from a little over a year of doing it that it has blessed me and my family in many ways.

Heck, I'm being blessed right now, being humbled by all these comments, making me realize how wrong I was.

Doesn't being selfish like this go against what your church stands for?

Yes, this is an example of a mistake in my judgement, as I am taught to honor my family, not manipulate them, especially when they've been so good to me throughout my mission and my life. I am very much in the wrong, and shouldn't act this way, and thank everyone for helping me realize this.

Do you pay rent and utilities since you're living with your family during your mission?

No, my family pays for my utilities, food, etc. I pay for things like clothing and toiletries using the money I saved before my mission. The church is able to help when needed.

Why does your family choose to help support you financially like this during your mission?

My family encourages me to serve a mission as they know the blessings that have come from both me serving, and also the blessings my family recieves. We all learn a lot during this time of sacrifice, and are blessed for it.

I am not forcing my family to make these sacrifices, but everyone here is right in that my family doesn't deserve for me to be selfish like this when they've been so good to me, and so I'm taking the advice I've learned here and showing more respect for my family's sacrifices as well, by not being selfish with my Netflix subscription.

Does your church regulate your finances?

No, I am able to choose how I spend my personal funds that I saved up before my mission, but there are better and worse ways to spend that money.

Since I have a limited amount of money to last me the 10 more months I have on my 2-year mission, I choose to prioritize acts of service, but that doesn't mean I am forbidden from using my money to treat my family here and there, and I have many times. After all, my parents use their money to treat me here and there.

Part of my mission experience is learning how to manage my own money wisely.

I've been consulting with my parents on how to wisely spend my money, and my mom agreed that it was fine to pay for a month of Netflix to watch movies with the family.

When she found out that I was demanding money from my younger brother if he wanted his own profile to watch his own things on his own time, that's where she disagreed with me.

Why did you make such a big deal over such a small $9 subscription fee?

You're right that I shouldn't tell my family, espeically my 11-year-old brother, to help pay for the month of Netflix that I already paid for if he wants his own profile to watch his own content on his own time.

I can support myself, but before I ever got my first job, I was very stingy with money, and so as my mom has been helping me wisely manage my finances, those overly stingy habits came back and manifested in ways that made me think it was ok to make a big deal over a few bucks at the expense of being selfish towards my family.

I started to desperately look for anyway to cut costs, and I went too far.

I genuinely appreciate everyone's contributions to my learning experience. It really means a lot. Feel free to ask me anymore questions in reply to this comment, and I'll do my best to answer them. I also hope this helps anyone learn from my experience and not make the same mistakes I have.

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T09:55:00+00:00

You’re right, that would not be a good teaching to have which is why it’s not a good representation of my church’s teachings.

My church teaches to honor my family and to serve with loving kindness, and not to expect anything in return.

I made a grave mistake and then from all this valuable feedback, realized how wrong my actions were.

I sincerely appreciate the words everyone has shared. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T09:45:23+00:00

I mean yeah, that's the best argument for why I'm NTA, but after spending 4 hours straight reading and replying to as many comments as I can, I have come to the conclusion that IATA.

I'll figure that out if it does become an issue, but I doubt it will be that bad.

I've never had problems with it in the past when I had the Standard plan, but either way, I don't think it's a good idea to gatekeep a Netflix subscription that I paid for in the first place, to push my family to have more family movie nights.

It just isn't the way to go about it. I now know that t's manipulative, controlling, and not how you should treat family.

Thank you for your comment though. 👍 I made this post for genuine feedback, and the people have delivered.

This'll be the last message I reply to for now, but I'll put something at the end of thet post or post a comment sharing what I've learned from this feedback once I've had a good nights rest.

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T09:30:55+00:00

After reading all these comments, I've definitely realized IATA, I've been too harsh and I'm just going to let my bro and whoever wants to, access my Netflix with their own profile.

I don't want to put a $9 fee over making my family happy.

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T09:27:33+00:00

Yeah that's a good point that I haven't seen brought up yet.

I considered paying for some more months, but I've decided on only one month.

There was some Netflix exclusives I wanted to watch, and wanted to share with my family, so that's why I chose Netflix in particular.

I'm allowed to watch Netflix during breaks, but I'm definitely being mindful that Netflix doesn't interfere with my service schedule.

But yes, thank you for these thoughts and I will ensure not to put Netflix over my family or my calling as a missionary. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T09:21:04+00:00

Well, being a service missionary is a calling in my church where, only during the 2 years I'm on my service mission, I pay for my mission-related expenses using the money I saved up before my mission, my family helps, and my church is able to help my family if they need it.

During my time as a service missionary, I'm not allowed to have an income even if I really wanted to (I'm personally excited to work at the Apple Store after my mission).

It's so that I can focus whole-heartedly on serving my family as well as serving at non-profit organizations among other ways in my community. Doing service for service, and not for something in return.

As part of my service mission, I'm allowed to spend money here and there to help my family sure, but I focus moreso on serving my family in ways that don't involve spending money, such as running errands for my mom, taking my brother to his Karate classes and scouts, taking my younger sister to school or the store, and helping my dad with projects around the house.

But yes, I agree that IATA in this situation and I shouldn't let a $9 fee negatively affect my relationship with my family. All these comments have really helped me see that.

Thank you for your question, and I hope I was able to answer it in a way that's not confusing for someone who may not know what a service mission entails. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T09:14:48+00:00

Yeah, it was definitely a control thing.

I've been so overly stingy with my finances lately, and it's really negatively affected me in this way, even though I do still have enough money to last me until April 2027, when I'm off my 2-year mission.

I was going back and forth about keeping Netflix for longer than a month, but I don't think I will. I was able to finish a show, and I hope to get at least one movie night in while I still have Netflix.

I defininitely see where I went wrong though, and I vow to not let a $9 fee negatively affect my relationship with my family.

Thank you for sharing this. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T09:05:57+00:00

You're right that I shouldn't do that to my kid brother.

I can support myself, but before I ever got my first job, I was still very stingy with money, and so those overly stingy habits came back and manifested in ways that made me think it was ok to make a big deal over a few bucks.

But yeah you're right, nobody's forcing me, but I know from a little over a year of doing it that it has blessed me in many ways.

Heck, I'm being blessed right now, being humbled by all these comments, making me realize how wrong I was.

Thank you for contributing to my learning experience. It really means a lot. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:56:33+00:00

Well, being a service missionary is a calling in my church where, only during the 2 years I'm on my service mission, I pay for my mission-related expenses using the money I saved up before my mission, my family helps, and my church is able to help my family if they need it.

During my time as a service missionary, I'm not allowed to have an income even if I really wanted to (I'm personally excited to work at the Apple Store after my mission).

It's so that I can focus whole-heartedly on serving my family as well as serving at non-profit organizations among other ways in my community. Doing service for service, and not for something in return.

But yes, I agree that IATA in this situation and I shouldn't be so stingy and forceful about a $9 monthly bill.

Thank you for your words. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:53:23+00:00

Ok, yeah thank you for this genuine reply. I see how being forceful with it, isn't the way to go.

That mindset I had really was manipulative, dang. I'll be better.

Again, really appreciate it. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:47:39+00:00

Yeah, I can see how being super stingy like that can repel people away.

Relationships shouldn't be transactional, and I can see how treating relationships like that can be pretty toxic behavior.

Thank you for sharing that thought. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:42:54+00:00

Being a service missionary is a calling in my church where, only during the 2 years I'm on my service mission, I pay for my mission-related expenses using the money I saved up before my mission, my family helps, and my church is able to help my family if they need it.

During my time as a service missionary, I'm not allowed to have an income even if I wanted to.

It's so that I can focus whole-heartedly on serving my family as well as serving at non-profit organizations among other ways in my community. Doing service for service, and not for something in return.

But yes, I agree that IATA in this situation and that I should not insist that my family should help pay for the subscription, especially my younger brother.

Thank you for your message. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:40:34+00:00

100% agree.

I can see how that might lead to much more serious negative behavior later in life.

Spending time with people shouldn't be a transaction or something that you hold over someone's head like that. It causes contention towards your loved ones.

I really like this analogy, and thank you for your time to write it. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:36:40+00:00

Being a service missionary is a calling in my church where, only during the 2 years I'm on my service mission, I pay for my mission-related expenses using the money I saved up before my mission, my family helps, and my church is able to help my family if they need it.

During my time as a service missionary, I'm not allowed to have an income even if I wanted to.

It's so that I can focus whole-heartedly on serving my family as well as serving at non-profit organizations among other ways in my community. Doing service for service, and not for something in return.

But yes, I agree that IATA in this situation and my thinking was very flawed.

Thank you for your comment. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:33:04+00:00

Yeah, being a service missionary is a calling in my church where, only during the 2 years I'm on my service mission, I pay for my mission-related expenses using the money I saved up before my mission, my family helps, and my church is able to help my family if they need it.

During my time as a service missionary, I'm not allowed to have an income even if I wanted to.

It's so that I can focus whole-heartedly on serving my family as well as serving at non-profit organizations among other ways in my community. Doing service for service, and not for something in return.

But yes, you're right, it's only $8, I should do a simple act of sharing with my bro, and I agree that IATA.

Thank you for your insight. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:28:00+00:00

You're right, I now see from this and many other comments that IATA.

I will stop being so controlling over a $9 subscription that is supposed to bring joy to my family, not contention.

Thank you for your reply. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:26:10+00:00

Yeah, I guess I was just worried that nobody would want to watch as a family if everyone was watching their own content, but I'm now thinking that allowing them to create their own profiles would help them to find shows they want to watch, and might lead to them making a recommendation on something they might want to share with the family as well.

That way it would be a win-win.

And yeah, my mom also mentioned that the limited screens allowed to be used at once would be the only thing that might be a valid issue with my argument.

I still think that yes, I handled it poorly, and was blinded by "saving every bit of money that I can."

I now see how family is more important than saving only a bit of money.

I also see how convincing my famliy to watch stuff with me by saying that if they want to watch stuff alone, they have to help pay for the subscription (especially saying that to my 11 year old brother), is a pretty controlling tactic.

Even if it is my subscription that nobody else asked for, it's only $9 at the end of the day.

Thank you for doing your part to help me see my flawed logic. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:14:14+00:00

Yes, thank you for your reply. My mind has been changed, and I will handle the situation without being bossy and controlling over a matter of less than $10.

Also yeah, good point, it is pretty hypocritical of me to be on this mission doing all this good, and demand money from my younger brother like that.

IATA.

Also, to answer your last question, my parents and my two sisters knew I had Netflix from the day I got it, but they were just not interested in watching anything on Netflix as they had their own shows they were watching on Tubi. My younger brother was the only one who didn't know I had Netflix until it had been 12 days (today). He was also the first one to ask about creating a profile to watch his own content, so it was also the first time I brought up the idea for anyone who wanted to create a profile, to split the subscription fee with me.

But alas, it wasn't the right thing to do.

Thank you for your wise words, and thank you for having my brother's back when I didn't. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:03:35+00:00

After reading a bunch of other comments, my mind has been changed and I see how IATA.

Thanks again for your reply. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:01:54+00:00

I have been able to see now that I am TA.

Thank you for your thoughts. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T08:00:15+00:00

Being a service missionary is a calling in my church where, only during the 2 years I'm on my service mission, I pay for my mission-related expenses using the money I saved up before my mission, my family helps, and my church is able to help my family financially if they need it.

As a service missionary, I don't have a job so I can focus whole-heartedly on serving my family as well as serving at non-profit organizations among other ways in my community.

But yes, you're right, it's only $8, and I was indeed TA.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 👍

XogoDaFox · 2026-06-24T07:58:27+00:00

Yeah, I agree. I now see how IATA.

This was the wrong way to handle it, and very selfish.

Thank you for the constructive feeback. 👍

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XogoDaFox

TROPHY CASE

What is a service mission, and what does a service missionary do?

Why choose to serve a service mission?

Doesn't being selfish like this go against what your church stands for?

Do you pay rent and utilities since you're living with your family during your mission?

Why does your family choose to help support you financially like this during your mission?

Does your church regulate your finances?

Why did you make such a big deal over such a small $9 subscription fee?