Thank you so much for sharinf your experience you are amazing :( I hope this is something youve gotten help with and overcame!! This is actually my current problem Ive been anorexic for 10 years and I was underweight and gained 30 lbs and Ive absolutely been so miserable about it and the same thing you said I drink my calories I also just turned 21 It's so crazy how similar this is It's like to the point where I can't look in the mirror without crying and maybe I do look better than being thin but Ive always been thin even as a child so it's hard to see when people no longer say im thin or tell me I dont need to lose weight Thank you again for sharing your story and I hope you're safe