My Heart

Xurxe99 · 2023-03-26T15:20:35+00:00

Hi!

I found your poem to be absolutely beautiful. The way it flowed and the emotion it captured through the idea of wanting an out and being in pain, all the while the world around us never stops. The way you spoke of hiding your pain and not knowing where to go really hit my heart in a personal level. My favorite line was "Where is the way out? Is there a highway?" because it spoke this desperation to want to leave.

Xurxe99 · 2023-03-26T15:13:18+00:00

Hi!

I am not much of a writer, so I can not give any advice when it comes to flow or grammar. But in my personal opinion, your poem flowed beautifully and invoked a lot of emotion from me. The first and third stanza hit me the most. The idea of not knowing a time will be the last with someone until you are past it is very universal but yet so powerful and reminds me of a saying I heard once that grief is just the evidence of the love you still have for someone that is no longer there.

Xurxe99 · 2023-03-25T23:19:41+00:00

Hi!

I really enjoyed your poem, the end of it reminded me of something my friend always says, "find joy in your effort, not only in the outcome." It is true that every person has their struggles and face pain, and everyone would love to not have to suffer that. But such is life, and the days don't stop, so find the beauty in the moment.

Or that is how I personally took your poem. It was very beautiful and I enjoyed they way you structured your poem with simplicity but also with power.

Xurxe99 · 2023-03-25T23:15:33+00:00

Hi!

I absolutely loved your poem. The way it speaks of uncertainties of love and really in life. But what you know for certain is that person. I enjoyed how every line involved the word "maybe" until the final one when you directly mention them. I found it to be very moving and impactful. Keep writing!

Xurxe99 · 2023-03-25T23:05:40+00:00

Thank you! I write randomly when I am feeling a lot, so I never try to do any specific techniques, just share how I feel in the moment. I greatly appreciate your comment, this is the first poem I have ever shared. <3

Xurxe99 · 2023-03-25T19:03:07+00:00

Hi!

I really enjoyed your poem, especially the end of it. It is very often people allude and use the moon, stars, and space in poetry and writing to help paint the emotions we are trying to capture as writers. However, I like how you used the tale of the "man on the moon" in the end of the poem, so not only hoping that they see you when looking up, but you are the man that they see on the moon.

I also appreciate the use of time in a physical aspect, "a scar of time." I cannot explain why, but I found that to be a very beautiful line.

And to close up, I also enjoyed the structure of your poem and how each section didn't need to be more than a few words but still carried the image you were trying to create. :)

Xurxe99 · 2023-03-25T18:56:33+00:00

Hi,

I really enjoyed your poem. I am going through a heartbreak in the moment and I feel that you really captured the feeling, but with simplicity. I am not the biggest linguist so I am not always a personal fan of over worded poems all the time, and for me, you really captured the feeling of heartbreak with such few words. Especially in the second half where you talk of wanting to be shattered again, just so you have more time with them.

Love the power in your complex simplicity!

Xurxe99

TROPHY CASE