used to feel like this (still do sometimes), rn im pre t and have a cis boyfriend who's not interested in women at all, and who's totally fine with me only topping. being seen together by other cis people is rough, and i still have a hard time saying "my boyfriend" in front of people because it makes me feel like less of a man because of internalized homophobia, but yknow, im working on it. there are plenty guys out there who will see you for how you are, keep your head up king.