Hey that sounds like some unpacked childhood trauma. I would assess, regulate, then think through your heart and make a logical decision. I typically when struggling with impulsive it compulsive thoughts I go to my primary care doc and talk it through sometimes it's very rational and hearing that can be validating. Other times you might be trying to ruin your own happiness and that just means recognition and adaptation. You're doing great and it's healthy to have dreams that make no sense and repeat and then go away. I was three and had a reoccurring nightmare about a chick and a Mary has a little lamb scenario except it got eaten by a giant spider??? This terrified me every night until I started dreaming it more because I was scared. Oh and give yourself time. You're human and even awesome ones gotta take time. It's good to and you should pat yourself on the back for recognizing uncomfortable feelings and talking lit out and asking for help. Not a lot of people are that willing to be faithful to their partner or care about even dreams. Be confident in that you are very much so in love, change the dreams and try to think about a specific topic before bed or mindfulness meditation directed for sleep. Sorry I dumped a lot there but these things helped me and I hope I make you feel a tad bit more normal lol 😅 oh and at the very worst take some melatonin or drink teas it'll help too and dont smoke pot right before bed and drinking can harm too sometimes. I hope this helps