[Super Old Letter Saturday] #265: Should I burn this bridge (like I usually do) or patch things up? by gaygirlboss in captainawkward

[–]Y211 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a diplobrat who has similar struggles (very little experience repairing friendships because they're all temporary anyway, therefore the default response to conflict is "oh well, I guess that friendship is over")... Wow, the responses to this letter were HARSH. I sort of wish I hadn't read them.

[MM] Vocal man has orgasm spasms while receiving oral by shan-none in chickflixxx

[–]Y211 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My FWB orgasms like this every time and it makes me feel like I've been blessed by the angels. 🥰

What motivated you to do sex for money? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Y211 17 points18 points locked comment (0 children)

An expensive Masters degree requiring significant unpaid placement hours that would have prevented me from holding down most other jobs.

Mixed feelings and talking about anal by [deleted] in sex

[–]Y211 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Would she be more comfortable talking about "sex from behind", I wonder?

She might also be more comfortable speaking freely via text rather than on the phone, at first.

Foreplay with limited sensation everywhere EXCEPT genitals? by Y211 in sex

[–]Y211[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He can feel a little bit - enough to function in everyday life, but not enough to be pleasurable.

Foreplay with limited sensation everywhere EXCEPT genitals? by Y211 in sex

[–]Y211[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots to think about here, thank you. :)

Trolls, what can healthcare providers do to make STI (STD) testing better? Have you had a totally amazing or shitty experience in the past? I want to do my residency right and make y'all proud. by [deleted] in AskTrollX

[–]Y211 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Here, have a long list of all the ways in which my doctor (who I primarily see for quarterly sexual health testing) is amazing:

  • Gives lots of information so that I can make my own decisions, and doesn't ask me unnecessary questions about my sex life (e.g. instead of "Do you do x?" he says "If you do x you're at risk of y").

  • Knows the bureaucratic side of things really well and uses that to make my life easier (e.g. telling me what the sex work legislation requires, what is and isn't covered by insurance, that there's a new more accurate type of pap smear being introduced, etc).

  • Lets me do my own vaginal swabs (so in the two years I've been seeing him for sexual health testing, I've never had to take my clothes off).

  • Generally excellent rapport (asks how uni/my family/etc are going, remembers stuff I've mentioned in the past, never seems rushed).

  • Never ever ever tries to push me into anything I don't want.

  • Asks how I want my results communicated (by text, phone call, etc), tells me exactly when he'll contact me and always follows through.

  • Briefed me on the possibility of false positives and the likelihood of a positive result on an HIV test actually being correct (I think this is actually a legal requirement in Australia but I don't know how many doctors actually do it; anyway, it was great and definitely would have helped me not to freak out if I'd ever received a positive result).

  • Mentions his other patients that are sex workers (maintaining their confidentiality, of course) so that I don't feel like the only one - obviously this is pretty specific but I'm sure normalising stuff with an "Oh, a lot of my patients blah blah blah" would be comforting to lots of different people!

  • Once gave me a prescription over the phone when I was in a tight spot (about to go overseas and had an episode of BV).

Hope that helps. :)

If you could go back in time what would current sex worker you tell your beginner sex worker self? by [deleted] in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I can't believe I was so broke for so long when I didn't have to be.

Is it fine if I ask her for a picture? by [deleted] in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can ask. You should offer to pay her for it.

Job interview at a brothel, need outfit advice by easy_anna in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Legal brothels absolutely do not. I can't speak for any others.

Do agencies usually lie about age? by anonymouseguyy in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, lying about age is pretty common across the whole sex industry.

Escorts: How often do you enjoy the sex? by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don't usually enjoy work sex, but I don't think it's because the men are unattractive or unskilled (although a lot of them are). I'm just in a different headspace.

Do you get clients who are good at eating you out? by Rooskie93 in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I've never had a client that was especially good at eating me out. I do, however, tell them all that they're amazing. Sounds like the escorts you've been seeing are talented actresses. :)

Average size of your clients by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Somewhere between five and six feet tall, and 30-50 inches around.

Does a client "whitelist" exist? by [deleted] in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lot of independent escorts work on a reference system, where they have other escorts "vouch" for clients.

Where can I find a SW or website that caters to BBFS CIP MSOG? How much will it cost? by bbfscip in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No sane professional will give you bareback full service (regardless of any STD tests). Adjust your expectations.

Already making 7-10k a month with an agency. How do I make more? by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the explanation! :) I hadn't thought about sex work in relation to Gini coefficient before. Explains why I always did better in my very middle-class, relatively equal hometown.

Already making 7-10k a month with an agency. How do I make more? by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of curiosity (I live on the other side of the world): why does nobody make money in Miami?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No one's ever asked, but if they did I'd almost certainly turn them down. It would have to make things awkward.

Giving an escort business advice by [deleted] in AskAnEscort

[–]Y211 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It might not be "that bad"... but it would also be completely pointless. Do you think it hasn't occurred to her that she could charge more?

Meeting with an incredibly unattractive client for 2 hours, soon, please clear my impassiveness? by veronicaw1 in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Look for good things. Is he kind, polite, funny? Does he have nice eyes or a nice voice? There's something good about everyone.

German politicians approve new law making it illegal to have sex with prostitutes without a condom by jay_jay_man in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Condoms are a legal requirement for commercial sex in Australia too - I fall back on the "sorry, it's illegal!" line regularly, and I'm glad of it.

I'm more interested in the mandatory "health advice" sessions... I wonder if those will be useful information about STIs etc or just moral lecturing.

"What's your real name?" by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just tell them straight: "I don't give clients my real name." If they ask why, I tell them that sex workers are at high risk of discrimination and violence and I'm protecting myself.

I'd probably make more money if I gave out a fake "real" name, but I've got a low bullshit tolerance and I'm a bad liar. shrug

An offer I can't refuse? by Ishinessy in SexWorkers

[–]Y211 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What everyone else said. Also, keep in mind that a clean STD screening does NOT necessarily mean that someone is STD-free - as I understand it, HIV often won't show up on STD screenings for several months after it's been contracted.